Leaving a 11 month baby with siblings and grandmother

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 6:47 pm

I hope you went and cane home safely. Don't let other peoples anxiety derail your plans. Your bay, grandma and you will he just fine.

giftedmom

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 6:47 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

she's fine now. Maybe or maybe not will did it have a lasting effect, you cant know.

But WHILE you were away vacationing, this child suffered silently. I'm sure she was well taken care of physically and even emotionally given lots of attention. But you just disappeared from her life for a week! THAT IS TRAUMATIZING!

There’s a therapeutic concept called rupture and repair. Look it up. It’s in a sense healthy for a child, even a baby, to experience.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 6:54 pm

giftedmom wrote:

There’s a therapeutic concept called rupture and repair. Look it up. It’s in a sense healthy for a child, even a baby, to experience.

I appreciate your post!
I leave my baby for an hour or two from time to time. I leave her with people she knows well.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:12 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

I seem traumatized?? Please explain.
I agree that OP's arrangements are super and the best case scenario if you need to leave a child.
I would still not do it.
And I am voicing my opinion. Why does that make me traumatized or feeding my kids with trauma? Why do people with different opinions act defensively?

The tone of your posts come across as dramatic and traumatized.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:14 pm

giftedmom wrote:

There’s a therapeutic concept called rupture and repair. Look it up. It’s in a sense healthy for a child, even a baby, to experience.

No, we don’t create conditions for rupture and repair.
If an attachment is ruptured it can potentially be repaired but we don’t set the stage for that ideally.

Op, it’s possible your baby will be fine but it’s also possible your baby will be traumatized.

I may be in the minority but I feel strongly that babies should be with their mothers unless it is an emergency. For a vacation wait a few months where she will be older and be able to understand better what is happening. It has the potential to be very traumatizing for a baby.

#BestBubby

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:22 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Are you a SAHM?

Because sending babies for many hours to babysitter is much worse.

kenz

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:23 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

You honestly do sound over the top on this matter.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:23 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

A vacation that will strengthen the marriage, can often be an emergency.

#BestBubby

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:24 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

A few months is not better.

A baby won't be able to understand

"Mommy is coming back in 2 days"

Until at least 2.5 years, maybe older.

Actually the younger a baby is the more easily they are ok with being cared by anyone,

although if you are nursing it wouldn't work.

amother

Obsidian

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 7:28 pm

Op I never leave such young ones but with your set-up I'd probably go in a heartbeat. Seams like a pretty perfect arrangement assuming grandma is fully capable of managing the kids well.

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 8:47 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

For a baby it’s traumatic to be separated from their mother. Is it an emergency? If not wait another few months until baby is older.

This is an extremely dramatic way to look at it.
Op I think it’s completely fine and do it all the time for even longer. My babies are not traumatized

giftedmom

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 8:51 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

So it was actually my therapist at the time who told me this

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 8:54 pm

giftedmom wrote:

So it was actually my therapist at the time who told me this

She is correct there is a concept like that . But we don’t give bandaids unless there is a cut and we don’t create cuts to be able to put on bandaids.
I hope the analogy is helpful for clarity.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 9:06 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

How would waiting a few months help?

Op go vacation and have a great time. Your leaving your baby in good hands. It is highly unlikely your baby will suffer from lifelong trauma due to her grandma watching her for 2 days. If she can pinpoint this as her source of trauma when she is an adult, then you have an amazing child!

giftedmom

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 9:07 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

She is correct there is a concept like that . But we don’t give bandaids unless there is a cut and we don’t create cuts to be able to put on bandaids.
I hope the analogy is helpful for clarity.

She told me this specifically in regards to leaving a baby for a few days. Obviously no one would do it specifically for this reason but it doesn’t have to be traumatic in an overall healthy relationship.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:11 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Are you a SAHM?

Because sending babies for many hours to babysitter is much worse.

Sending a 6 week old baby to a babysitter is way worse than staying home with siblings and grandma.
If babies have separation anxiety, how does anyone send to a babysitter under 2?
Do we have a traumatized generation?

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:18 pm

amother Indigo wrote:

Honestly, yes, I think we can see the effects in some communities.

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 10:26 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

Such as?

You want me to name where I've seen the effects? Of course I'm not going to do that. It would only upset people, many who may not feel they have an alternative.