My 13 yr old dd wants to put nailpolish on her feet

Brit in Israel

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 4:11 pm

Get her Polish and let her do it. Just remind her you are allowing her to only do it on her toes and why.
If you are worried she will tell her friends explain why it might not be good for her to tell her friends.
You don't want parents of her friends saying they can't continue the friendship over something as stupid as this.

DrMom

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 4:16 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

I'd get her polish and let her do it herself.

This.

It's pretty easy to apply yourself, especially on your toes, because you always have the use of your dominant hand.

It way less expensive than paying someone else to do it.

Plus, if you are concerned whether this is acceptable in your circles, then at least you can do it in the privacy of your own home.

amother

Sage

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 6:12 pm

For my dd, I talked with her about why I don't value nail polish / make up, etc. Not just why it isn't done, but about respecting the bodies Hashem gave us as they are. And then I told her that we do use physical things to improve our appearance, such as special clothes, shoes and jewelry for shabbos and yontiv But we don't wear nice things to honor ourselves, we do it to honor shabbos or yontiv . So I allowed her to put on nail polish (at home) before shabbos and yontiv in order to do something l'chvod shabbos kodesh. I don't make her take it off after (unless she wants), but I wanted her to understand where this falls in our value system and how to make it something beyond just a gashmiyus act and tie it into doing it for a positive reason.

amother

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 6:59 pm

Nice ! I actually also spoke with her and tried to persuade her against it , since its against my values too ... I never had this taiva, and I did see it by an aunt of mine on her hands, she was more with it and different then us. and I allways knew that its not a thing in our circles not my immediate family friends ...in my case my daughter saw it by some family members much older then her, and very much wants it !. I was in a dilema what to do because of her age... . bh I got smart tips and ideas from all of you smart imas thx so much!

amother

Grape

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:04 pm

Chassidish here, I never wear any nail polish and never wanted to, my dd started asking when she was around 10. It wasn't a rebellious thing or even self expression, she literally just thought it was fun. I got her a set of non toxic polish and she had a blast painting her toes and her friends toes when they came for sleepovers with their mothers' permission. It's a year later now and she hasn't looked at them in a few months. I think she got it out of her system.

amother

Chambray

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:07 pm

This is how you grow healthy children who don’t hate everything about religion. They need some space to figur things out for themselves. Better to do things safe in your home than lie and hide.

So yes. Paint her toes!!! She might hate it and want to take it off. She might love it and want to paint them eveyr other week. She may find out she loves to paint and then Will have a new hobby

amother

Diamond

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:10 pm

I agree let her do it at home and get it out of her system. I would advise against taking her to a place to have it done. she will be pampered and it will be a much more exciting and "feel good" experience than just doing it at home. She would see it as an amazing experience, instead of just getting it out of her system. Plus she would likely be exposed to more than you were hoping if she goes to one of those places.

mango18

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:23 pm

I hear, I am taking all the advice from here... I allready told her I spoke it and over with smart people..., and will take her somwhere nice to start, then she can do it on her own too... I cant explain to you her reaction she got so emotional!! She danced and laughed and hugged me ... She told me ma its freaky just today I davend so hard for hashem to help me ! Lol Omg she shouldve asked for more important stuff right? But this is driving her crazy! , so for a 13 yr. Old, this could mean the world, go figure...

happyone

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thx! Does anyone know a good place to go for teens in the monsey area?

Delisse spa makes it a real nice experience. Theyre located on Perlman drive near Bites. The place on top of chase Bank on rt 59 is also great.

amother

Clover

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:32 pm

I did not grow up chassidush, but my mother was just not into make-up or manicures. She was so anti it for young girls. I found that annoying. Let a girl be a girl! Let her enjoy something for herself. She's at an age where it's appropriate.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:33 pm

Op your most recent post isn’t anonymous. You can edit it so it’ll be anonymous.

Love to hear this update!!

ysydmom

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 7:54 pm

Why not we are yeshivish and my dd's love painting their toe nails nobody sees them and it's a fun girly thing to do get her some fun colors and let her enjoy some kosher fun!

It's one of our mid winter vacation projects! Spa day at home Smile

mango18

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 8:00 pm

Should I be embarressed to say Ive never walked in to a salon... whats there not appropiate to see? Tv? Pictures what please share

amother

Diamond

Tue, Dec 19 2023, 8:14 pm

I really would advise against the salon. I'm confused that you would even offer it.

(often there would be a TV with some inappropriate talk show on - could be different where you live)

But EVEN if it's appropriate, why get her all excited about it? If you don't approve, why turn it into a whole upscale pampered experience? You could be opening Pandora's box. If I were you, I would just say let's go to the store and pick up a set with a few colors. Or just buy her something basic. Why are you making it into a whole exciting experience, if it's not something you want to encourage on an ongoing basis? Instead of letting it her get it out of her system, you are treating her and opening a whole new world.