Leaving behind kids to go on vacation

essie14

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 7:51 am

I would do a staycation. Send the kids to their regular babysitter/pre school.
Maybe get someone to pick them up and keep them til bedtime so you really have a full day. Then you pick them up and put them to bed at home. You can also get an evening babysitter and go out for dinner as well if you want.

amother

Sand

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 8:04 am

OP I feel you. I have an 18 month old and I do plan to go away with my husband for a few days 3 nights in the next few months. I am also pregnant with baby #2 so kind of it it doesn't happen now it will be a while.
I'm planning to leave him at my inlaws who live locally, during the day he'll go to his regular babysitter, and he loves my inlaws and the kids who still live at home.
My only fear is the nights but we might try him a sleepover there while we are home (a few blocks away)
When we go, we will call and say hi a few times during the day and before bed time etc

Are you still nursing at 15 months? Otherwise I think if your kids will be on same routine and with a trusted relative or regular babysitter it's fine.

If you have to drop them off elsewhere, out of town etc it can be harder.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 8:37 am

Earliest I've left a child is 18 months. However, we were actually living at my parents at the time so it wasn't like I was leaving her somewhere that she didn't know at all. It was like she was being left at home. I had multiple unmarried siblings at the time and a sibling around the same age. We were there in between houses for a year. I've left my kids multiple times but that was the youngest I've left. I usually don't leave till 2 since I nurse till then.

amother

Antiquewhite

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 8:54 am

The three year old, I'd be fine leaving, but not the 15 month old. Dh and I once left a baby that age for a few days. She cried for awhile and then was fine. And then we came back, and she cried, and for the next month and to a lesser extent for even longer, she freaked out every time I dropped her at the babysitter or often even if I just left the room she was in. She wouldn't anyone but me or dh hold her. And she would completely freak out if we took her to my parents, where she had been staying, for many months, even if we didn't leave.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 9:22 am

amother Sand wrote:

I wouldn't leave an 18 month old to vacation, when I'm due to have a baby soon. It may be too much on the child. That's not fair to them.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 9:24 am

salt wrote:

In my opinion, a child who is too young to understand conversations or talk, doesn't disturb the quality time, and we take them with.

Of course they disturb quality time at that age, even if they don't talk. They don't sit still & run around, so you always need to be on the ball & run after them. They need entertainment, you can't just sit and do nothing when you have a 15 month old with you & you can't take them to restaurants if they're very noisy.

amother

Valerian

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 9:29 am

I would leave the 3yo if you have someone he knows very well willing to take him. I wouldn't leave a 15 month old. Last year I took a just turned 2yo on vacation with us & it worked out very well.

amother

Denim

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 9:32 am

You’re going to get a lot of diff responses here and honestly you just have to know your child and how they are with who you will be leaving them with. I don’t see an issue if they can stick to their regular schedule and with someone they know very well. But everyone has such diff opinions on this so it won’t really help to ask anyone on here. You gotta do what’s good for you and what makes sense. I have personally done it and it’s worked out perfect !! Don’t think my kids are traumatized in any way !

tichellady

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 10:00 am

amother Sand wrote:

From my experience I would advise not to call during the trip. It can be very confusing for him and will probably make you sad

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 10:16 am

amother Peach wrote:

Same, the idea of any of my babies or toddlers being happy all day in a stroller and letting us have adult time is just so foreign to me. I can’t even take my newborn to a shiur or a restaurant they’re noisy! Add that to the fact that my little kids don’t sleep as well when we go away so it’s definitely not a vacation.

amother

Starflower

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 10:44 am

I did a 2 day one night getaway. I did not have baby babies. They were probably pre-school age. I left my kids with my in-laws.

My kids were totally fine and told us we came home too soon. They were having a blast with their grandparents.

The second time we did it my kids were 10, 8, and 3. It was summer time and the kids all had schedules. They were so excited to be with their grandparents that none wanted to go to camp that day.

I missed my kids like crazy, but really needed the alone time with my husband.

amother

Leaf

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 11:01 am

amother Peach wrote:

I wouldn't leave an 18 month old to vacation, when I'm due to have a baby soon. It may be too much on the child. That's not fair to them.

Agree. An 18 month old is a baby. I would take him along.

Chayalle

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 11:10 am

I think it depends alot on who the child is being left with, for how long, and what their relationship is with the care person.
Personally I would love to do this for my girls BEH when they have kids - be the Bobby they leave their kids with so they can get a break.....Taking kids along on vacation is not always so great for them either. During her engagement, my DD went on a vacation with my sister and BIL and their 3 kids, and she said the kids were kvetchy and overtired. I told her lesson learnt - when you and (SIL) go on vacation IYH, you will leave the kids with me and Ta...She said most definitely.

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 11:40 am

tichellady wrote:

From my experience I would advise not to call during the trip. It can be very confusing for him and will probably make you sad

100% this. At 18 months, you want them just distracted and not thinking of you.

I’ve left my toddlers to go on vacation and I plan to do it again, but it was always with people they know well and at my house. I’d rather pay a babysitter to sleep over so they could have their own beds and stick to their usual routine.

Bh I’ve never come home to traumatized babies and the kids who are old enough to talk tell me how much fun they had.

librarylady

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 11:54 am

I've been told that until a child is old enough to look at a calendar and understand passage of time (ie, mommy and daddy will be back after shabbos/in three days) you risk them being very traumatized (as amother antiquewhite described above).
It might not happen, but then again it might yes happen, and that is too much of a risk in my opinion.
Of course you know your situation best. The ideas that others have written about, staycations etc. are certainly worth a try and a series of day trips and evenings out will probably have the same overall benefit as a vacation.

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:12 pm

My dh and I went away when our oldest were around 2 and 3. They stayed with my parents. They are now 24 and 25 and they don’t even remember it.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 5:22 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

My dh and I went away when our oldest were around 2 and 3. They stayed with my parents. They are now 24 and 25 and they don’t even remember it.

Of course they don't remember it, but it doesn't mean that it can't/won't leave an effect on the child.