Entering homes under construction (Monsey View)

Rubber Ducky

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Unfortunately, people find other ways to enter....

And then, with the exterior door locked, even the clueless looky-loos realize that the owner/contractor wants them to keep out.

Maybe post a sign with the relevant halachas on the door.

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:13 am

amother Slategray wrote:

I don’t think it’s fair to name places and judge like that.

I’ve seen it happen in Brooklyn and Monsey too. It happens everywhere.

It’s not just a Lakewood culture. I don’t live in Lakewood and I’ve seen it way too often

]

I literally have never ever heard of this being a "thing" so I suspect it is part of the frum culture just the way I have learned other very off social behaviors are part of the frum culture.

I am not saying that all frum people are off but just that it appears that there seems to be a certain segment of frum people in the dense frum areas which don't seem to observe the boundaries that are considered to be standard everywhere else - just recently there was a thread in which people wrote the it was normal to have their children using common area hallways as an extension of their apartments.

I have actually been in a position where I viewed two homes that were being constructed but that was ONLY because I was hiring the designer and the GC who were working on these places and it was done with the permission of the owner in the same way as I had someone ask to view my place to check out the quality of the work - which I was happy to oblige after being asked.

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:19 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

Happens to be, I currently live with non jewish neighbors, & I've lived in a large building with non jewish neighbors, and the kids also play in the lobby & common areas of the building. So I don't think it's specifically a frum thing. I think it's more about many families with young kids living in the building & the kids end up playing together in the common areas.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 8:19 am

It happens in a culture where everyone thinks they are one big happy family and many times it blurrs the lines of what's acceptable and what's not acceptable.
It's also what behooves us to really care deeply about someone else's family and to try to see what we can do to help them even if they are not asking for help but they very much appreciate when someone reaches out to help them. And this is for people that are not blood related at all.

It's not an excuse to do something wrong, it's just explaining the culture.

And what's needed is an awareness, that's all.

In other cultures where they wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, they also don't give two hoots when you are struggling and cant pay your mortgage and that you will lose your house. In the culture of looking at other peoples houses, these same people will go and try to raise funds and do what not in order for you not to lose the house that you built etc..

Not excusing this behavior or action, but just trying to point out where its coming from.

We can all improve in different areas. And we should admit when we do things that are out of line as well.

amother

Crocus

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:28 am

amother OP wrote:

Last week, someone wrote in a letter to the Monsey view that she see's strangers & passersby entering homes under construction to see the house, and how wrong that is and it's not allowed.
This week, someone wrote back a letter saying that yes, she goes in to homes under construction because IT'S THE ONLY CHANCE SHE GETS TO SEE THE HOUSE because once the new neighbors move in, she won't get to see the house anymore!!!
I'm so dumbfounded and flabbergasted over this, and hoping that it's a joke. I'm speechless!
Do people really do this????

I have seen people who pry and "figure out" other peoples tragedies as if its a movie they enjoy watching.
Looking at how other people live is decent comparably.

amother

Smokey

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:44 am

amother OP wrote:

I know someone who works in construction sites and he said everyday there’s at least five people coming to look at the houses cuz they won’t be able to after people move in he gets so angry at them and literally has to chase them out besides the point that it’s private property
So it is 💯 percent true and I think it’s discusting!!

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:48 am

amother Amber wrote:

I do it all the time! Not saying it’s right TMI

May I asked what you're thinking when you're entering someone's property without permission? What is going through your mind when doing so? I'm genuinely curious.
Would you also go in to a home that people live in? This isn't any different.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 9:54 am

amother OP wrote:

I think people mostly go in on shabbos when no one is around. Maybe install cameras so you can see if someone goes in.

Doesnt help to have cameras. I had cameras and plenty of ppl went in. I never said it only happens in Lakewood. I happen to live here and I know that here its something that a lot of ppl do and dont think twice about.

amother

Geranium

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 10:18 am

I moved into a new development where I was one of the first to move in. Everyone else building at the same time would go into everyones elses homes to look at what they were doing with colors and upgrades and we were all ok with it. Then when the second stage was being built all the old home owners would go through the new houses on shabbos. It was standard practice and no one cared until the house was totally done and then we would respect their privacy.

Funny story my friend went into her new home before moving in but it was officially hers to look at something. There was a man there looking around and he asked her to leave because of yichud and he wanted to look around by himself. He was in for a shock when my friend told this guy that it was her house.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 10:48 am

amother DarkViolet wrote:

100%. I'm a BT and have felt really alienated over time by so many things are considered unbelievably rude anywhere else in America, but are totally find by frum people. I used to try to excuse it but now I know it's just bad middos. (See also: staring at people in public, littering, taking up the whole street on Shabbos, pushing to get on the bus, etc etc)

amother

Blue

Thu, Jan 04 2024, 1:54 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

no words. I know one sin doesn’t have with the next but the nerve of him to get all holy when he’s commuting a sin by trespassing on PRIVATE property!

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 1:55 pm

Ok, so the saga continues.
This week, someone wrote in a letter, that she has to enter homes under construction that are around her home, to protect her privacy!!!! She must see what the neighbors will be able to see from their windows facing her home. So she must enter others homes without permission, for her privacy.
She must trespass on others privacy for her privacy.....
Scratching my head here, unreal. People have no shame.

singleagain

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you can see into their windows assume they can see into yours and put up blinds!

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Omg

amother

Teal

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Tell her to install cameras in her neighbor’s home. Quickly, before they move in! This way she can spy on her neighbors to make sure that they aren’t spying on her Hiding