Help, baby cries to nurse ALL night!

amother

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 8:43 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Babies do better with somewhat of a schedule. I have hard babies that wake up a lot to nurse but the night is from 7/8-6 am. They’re bh always sleepy then even if they are sad etc.

When do you nap him? When does he wake up for the day?

I guess I can try starting the night earlier. To me it just feels like prolonging the agony because when I put him to sleep is when my already limited functionality officially ends. Because I'll get like a half hour to change myself and use the bathroom in peace, and then starts the whole on and off crying baby situation.

He wakes up for the day late, too. B"H my work schedule is flexible enough to allow this. I do think it would be smart to nudge his whole night a little earlier but this is what worked for the last few months so I just roll with it. I have older kids and computer work so it works out ok to not be busy all evening putting the baby to bed. In the current setup I'm done with everyone else by the time he takes over.

amother

Mintgreen

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 9:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

To those saying "just nurse him" - first of all he isn't even happy with that. After a few rounds he cries even while nursing. Secondly, how am I supposed to function if I'm nursing every hour or so? Literally every part of my body is hurting from exhaustion. I keep praying that I don't accidentally wrap my carpool around a pole. Hopefully I won't lose my job either.

How can he be hungry or thirsty after he just nursed and nursed and nursed, and possibly a bottle too? And if he's nursing for comfort then how can I teach him other ways of finding comfort? Because this is just not working at all.

I don't have a place to put him out of my room. The plan is for him to eventually share a room with another child when he can sleep through the night for real, but I can't do that to her when he still cries in middle of the night. Also the other bedrooms are not close enough to mine for me to respond to a baby this young.

I'd like to take comfort in "it's normal and will pass" but I'm not so convinced because it feels like we're just digging deeper and deeper into a habit. I feel like he's learning that he needs to constantly have a b00b in his mouth otherwise life is a tragedy. At least that's what it sounds like. Also I'm not sure how to survive until it passes. DH is not able to help because his work schedule is grueling and also he's just not effective. On weekends or when he can handle it he helps by giving me a little break but it's a drop in the bucket, maybe enough to keep me from literally dying of exhaustion which is very important but just not enough.

Try cosleeping. 5 months is really young to be doing sleep training. It’s hard, is there any other aspect of your life you can make easier or simpler so you can be there for baby.

Also get his ears checked, you would be surprised
sometimes that they are happy during the day and at night it bothers them.

amother

Orange

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 9:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I suspected this. My babies do terrible when they sleep in, it throws off their circadian rhythm past 3ish months. He’s basically jet lag.

If you want to try it, try waking him up at latest 8 for the day. Nap him 2 hours max after first waking, then 2 hours after he wakes up from that nap and then try for a third nap like that. Aim for bedtime 12 hours after waking. I put baby in before older kids because they go in at 8.

No nap 2 hours- the sleep gets too deep for the daytime.

Most important is the waking up in the morning and the first nap.

No pressure to follow my advice but I have challenging sleepers and this is a nice flexible rhythm that keeps us sane.

(like legit, my husband has sleep apnea and so did 2 of mine, so their sleep was low quality even as babies, reflux, ear infections always setting us back)

amother

Midnight

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 9:16 pm

amother Orange wrote:

https://takingcarababies.com/5-month-old-sleep-schedule?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAzJOtBhALEiwAtwj8thpDn5paro9qknqsnMj9m99dkCS7X-DkEknUD1hHfdFXrJGqGA3rnhoCKL8QAvD_BwE#what-are-wake-windows-for-a-5-month-old

This is the concept. I don’t sleep train but I follow this rhythm/ schedule and it bh works nicely.

Now at nine month my baby sleeps twice a day and goes to bed 7-7 with 2 or three quick nursing sessions.

What’s the nap schedule for 2 naps and this nighttime sleep? My baby is 9 months too but only naps once

amother

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 10:30 pm

I would love to do cosleeping, it worked for my older kids but either I'm getting too old or this baby is harder because I'm getting zero sleep with him in my bed nursing all the time. Half and half was working pretty well though - I'd get like 4 hours of nice quality sleep alone and then let him into my bed for another 3 or so hours of bonus quantity while/between nursing.

Will look into ear possibility.

When I try waking him up earlier he refuses! He cries and cries until I put him back to sleep (I.e. nurse and don't wake him up after) or at best wakes up for a little bit and then goes back to sleep very shortly after. I tried this a bunch of times. Then I gave up because anyway this schedule works for me (worked for past babies too.)

Tonight I got him to sleep around 9:30, significantly earlier than usual. He's already up and nursing again. Meanwhile the rest of the family got kind of messed up because I had told one of the kids I would pick her up from a friend around then, I have laundry waiting to be transferred and now I'm stuck in bed with a baby, etc. I'm in favor of improving the baby's schedule but I'm not sure I can pull off a complete lifestyle change .

Thank you for the detailed explanation and link, amother orange! Going to see what I can implement. It's hard to engineer naps that precisely because of things like falling asleep in the car, babysitting schedule, etc, but it's nice to have some guidelines.

I guess it could be reflux but then where was it until last week when he was sleeping relatively well?!

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 10:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Has he had any type of regression? It rly sounds like the 4 month regression. It rly hits some babies hard. Also maybe try aiming for even earlier bedtime? Like 730/8? At that age you can totally do an early bedtime. Make sure he has enough wake window though between the last nap and bedtime. Maybe it’s time to drop to 2 naps?

amother

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 10:45 pm

Case study:
Topped him off with a bottle just in case before putting him to sleep at 9:30. He woke up at 10:15 and was perky for a few minutes and then cried to nurse. He actually ate quite a bit nursing before falling asleep latched on around 10:30. First attempt to unlatch he started sucking again, second attempt he was really asleep. I tried gently putting him down at that point, but he started to wake up. I tried gently rocking/patting/shushing but he wailed and demanded to nurse again. So here we are nursing for the second time in 20 min, third time in an hour and a half (plus the bottle just over an hour ago), and he's still on me and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to put him down. But I'm still wearing my day clothes, haven't used the bathroom in several hours, have a medication to take that's on the other side of the room, and that's besides the laundry that still needs to be transferred and anything else I might have thought about getting done. And I would really love to check if my preteens successfully made it to bed because they usually need some nudging but here I am plugged into the baby. Also I'm hungry, I went a little light on supper and that feels so long ago and did I mention I've been nursing ALL. NIGHT?

amother

Orange

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 11:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

I just wanna say that if it sounds like I’m over, simplifying things and being preachy, I really don’t mean it that way. It’s definitely hard to keep the baby on a schedule with multiple kids and again I am very flexible with it but I found it’s just harder with no schedule, and working against this circadian rhythm

Also, seconding those that said to check the ears they really do hurt much more at night sometimes when they’re laying down…

amother

Mintgreen

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 11:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s really challenging, Op. You are doing your best right now. I hope your baby lets you put him down so you can eat something and have some time for yourself.

amother

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 11:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

Case study update:
Fell asleep after second round of nursing, thought I successfully transferred him, two min later he started waking up again. I tried calming him for like a minute then hollered to dh that I am DONE and he needs to put him back to sleep. Left the room, checked on preteens (in bed but not asleep, and glad I checked because they forgot to set the alarm that is vital in the morning because I can't move without waking the baby who is always on me by then), transferred the laundry, put away the laptop I foolishly left in the kitchen, grabbed a half a cucumber someone had left out. Went to put something in bedroom, baby spotted me. He was happily but not sleepily hanging out with dh. When he spotted me he of course decided he needed to nurse again and would not be redirected. So I nursed him for the 4th time in a little over 2 hours. He did not fall back asleep. Dh did. So now it's me and a very small compulsive overeater who doesn't sleep, and I'm on a week of not sleeping and have an appointment in the morning and I'm just losing it.

This is why I don't put him to sleep before 10:30. He clearly thought 9:30 was a nap and now it's party time. Party with plenty of snacks. I'm gonna collapse. I also haven't had a shower in too long because he has gotten mobile enough that he can get out of the bouncy seat that I used to stick him in, and he won't stay in the crib without screaming bloody murder.

Anyway that's how my night is going.

amother

Orange

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 11:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sounds way too familiar (I actually crashed twice and refuse to drive long distance now when I don’t have enough sleep).

When my babies (and toddlers ahhh) give me really rough nights I try to get an afternoon/ evening babysitter and sleep from 4:30-6ish. Is that an option? On days I didn’t work I went back to bed during the day… really really difficult.

Agree with you that he’s not hungry at this point would just make no sense, he’s nursing to sooth and out of frustration.

He’s big to be in a room with action and noise and sleep through, do you have place for any kind of divider? My baby shared with an older kid that by sleeps through the noise which is a miracle.