Pesach is my favorite YT AMA

amother

Cyclamen

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 9:47 pm

amother Crimson wrote:

I really, really want to love Pesach. I hate that I don't enjoy it.

Firstly, it feels like the most expensive YT and money just flies out the window. I don't buy expensive meats - that's well out of our budget. But, during the year, I rarely buy Jewish brand groceries as they are way more expensive (before you comment, you don't know where I live. If this isn't the case for you, count yourself lucky!) On pesach though we only buy the Jewish brands, which are approximately 4 times the price. So just on groceries alone, not counting meat and round matzah, which are huge expenses, the grocery bill is in the hundreds of dollars, for one week. It's a tremendous financial strain, and I try hard to avoid extras (but at the same time want to make YT special for my kids, so I do splurge on one or two sorts of candy etc)

Secondly, I'm the type who likes to be prepared. With other Yomim Tovim, I start weeks in advance, and slowly fill up my freezer. Then, I get to YT relaxed, with loads of great food in my freezer and minimal stress. Being last-minute makes me extremely nervous. With Pesach, doing things in advance is not an option. We only turn over a few days before as we live in an apartment and it's just not possible to turn over earlier - unless we buy takeout for 3 weeks before, which we absolutely can't afford. I don't do well with these overnight cooking marathons, and I don't have a lot of help.

Thirdly, I hate cleaning. I only do what's absolutely necessary acording to halacha, but even that is a lot for me.

And fourthly, once I get to YT, and my kitchen is finally pesachdig, I spend basically all chol hamoed in the kitchen because there are no quick and easy meals/snacks on pesach. Pesach cake is not filling the way chametz cake is. So, it's real food, and all the time. Plus don't have my regular appliances, so everything just takes so much longer, and was told its problematic to kasher a dishwasher, so left with all the dishes to wash (another thing I hate).

Any tips would be very, very, very much appreciated!

I just want to comment on the “in advance” piece. There is so much you can make in a crock pot.
Set up a crock pot in a separate room, and prepare different foods to freeze. This is very doable with a little planning, and will take a huge load off.

amother

Amethyst

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Crimson wrote:

So many people are saying they love Pesach. For those of you who do, please can you give us your tips on:

a) cleaning with not a lot of help
b) paying for the YT when regular life is difficult enough, but Pesach time expenses are next level
c) the constant cooking and cleaning (I don't mind cooking in regular doses, but don't enjoy a the stress of having to make so much in so little time)

I'll answer.

As a kid I hated pesach because I did most of the cleaning, my mom did the cooking/baking. my father with his chumros made us all tense. pesach = stress

As a mother, I love pesach and do things differently than my parents. I'm so glad to give my kids a more wholesome experience.

a) I do real basic cleaning. I have a cleaning lady once a week for 4 hours. She does the oven one week, fridge and freezer another week, and whatever else I didn't get to that must be done another week. (ex: carriage, couch, dining room chairs) Rest of house I don't stress over. I sell my toys and buy one new pesach toy every year which we put away together with pesach dishes. By now we have quite an accumulation of pesach toys and my kdis love to be reunited with toys they haven't seen all year. Insides of closets and drawers, we just take out, wipe and put back. No organizing. The last week before bedikas chometz cleaning lady does all the floors really well and that's it.

b) Yes, pesach is super expensive. Spreading out the expenses helps a bit. I don't shop for summer wardrobe before Pesach. I make sure kids have clothes that fit from winter that are more all year round. We do this for shabbos and weekday. My girls are still in uniform so they don't need weekday summer stuff yet. If I was organized the year before and got summer clearance at Tottini, they wear it chol hamoed but otherwise, what was good for three days before pesach will be good for three days after. Food shopping is expensive no way around it. We don't use prepared food because of pesach so that probably cuts costs a bit. I also have no issue making chicken for YT although I will serve at least one meat of a cheaper cut like brisket or chuck roast.

c) I do everything before YT, same like I do before sukkos and shavuos. I don't make anything on yt itself except fresh salad. So whatever I get to, we have. Otherwise it's a rotation of the same few dishes. I kasher my kitchen at least 5 days before Pesach and set up a chometz station downstairs. The first day is lining everything and shopping. Two days for cooking, one day for baking. Bedikas chometz day I clean and only make stuff for seder like zeroa, marror, charoses, etc.

tree of life

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 4:11 am

amother Salmon wrote:

How?
Please teach me?
I truly want to enjoy it
BUT
I feel like a slave.

I’m an empty nester, so usually it’s just DH and I during the yr.

BUT - the kids want to come over. The problem is they want a vacation so they treat my home as a resort.

I’m organized
I start cleaning early
I start freezing what I can early.

By the time Chol Hamoed comes I feel like a slave about to explode.
The house is super messy (which I’m not use to)
Everyone wants something to eat at all hours.
When they prepare something they leave a huge mess behind.

I didn’t raise them like this. I raised them to help and be grateful. They became like this after marriage

Please teach me to enjoy Pesach instead of dreading it
😭

BTW- next week I’m starting Spring cleaning

And I have cleaning help, but for Pesach it’s not enough

You need to make list so everyone each day can choose something to do for example someone to peel vegetables set table etc
Tell them here's the list
You will cook the fish and chicken
Everyone if the things are peeled you will cook .
Buy slow cooker definitely bug help don't be ashmayta

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 4:55 am

amother Crimson wrote:

I hate to prepare and cook with bad or non-existing basic equipment (learned by experience) so I invested in good knives pots and pans etc.
I recommend a list in your wallet stating which equipment you don't have yet. When there's a good sale I buy, even if it's in the middle of the summer.
I struggle with space too.

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:49 am

amother Crimson wrote:

A. I have my regular cleaning help twice a week. Last year she came one extra day and cleaned the kitchen with dh and I. I don't go crazy with cleaning at all. I didn't have cleaning help for a lot of years. Dh happens not to mind cleaning while I hate it. He cleaned a lot of it while I focused on the cooking and baking. I have a small pesach kitchen I put in a few years ago and only use before pesach really. I kasher my regular kitchen as well. I use it only for baking before yt. I don't clean will a week before or so. I dont be d it stressing me out for months and there is no point in it.

B. Pesach costs a ton. Bh we can afford it. First day is only my family and we don't need so much food. I realized. I don't really buy expensive meats much since my kids don't care for it anyways. I make meals based on what my kids eat. I also like to cook on pesach. I usually spend the morning making a fresh meal

C. I love cooking. Doesn't bother me at all. Dh does tons of the cleaning

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:07 am

So nice to see so many of us love Pesach! I'll admit to loving it a tiny bit less as I'm getting older (I'm in my fifties) and the work gets harder and harder.

What I love/loved:

Deep cleaning/organizing. I hate day to day straightening up but I love giving my house a deep clean. The years I couldn't clean well, I just said kol chamira and done.

I love the fresh feeling of different dishes, different pots, everything is scrubbed...

I love Pesach food. Matzah, borscht, latkes, fish and meat... I feel it's a very clean diet. (As a girl we had very limited food, my husband eats everything kosher).

I like the sedarim and the fact that I'm a part of it (unlike other yomim tovim where women are not really).

I once described Pesach cleaning to a non Jewish coworker and she thought the idea was really cool!

Maybe the reason I still love Pesach is because I don't stress about what doesn't get done. I clean what I can, sell or say kol chamira in the rest, make sure to have lots of help, and I keep my menus simple.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:11 am

amother Crimson wrote:

A. Say kol chamira and sell. And GET help. If you are making pesach for more than one person, (yourself) you can have help. Kids or husband. Or whomever is coming to you for pesach.
B. I have gotten help when I couldn't afford. Not pleasant but much better than the alternative.
C. Throw away your magazines. Put up a pot of potatoes, onions, salt and pepper, scrambled eggs. That's a meal.

Matzah and butter/cream cheese is a meal. (Use machine matzah).

In general, keep it simple.

Ema of 5

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 9:43 am

amother Firebrick wrote:

I don’t know about in your house, but no one in my house will eat that as a meal other than lunch. Potatoes are a side, not a meal, and eggs are not a yom tov meal in my house. We have eggs for breakfast or lunch on chip hamoed. The boys/men (and even the women/girls) want meat or chicken for dinner on yom tov. It is not just an ordinary night, and it get treated with the respect it deserves. (I’m not talking about the minimum because that’s what you can afford)
Same with matzah and butter or cream cheese.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:35 am

I spend a lot on matzah and wine and while pantry staples are expensive, I try to save what I can from year to year, do without, buy at wholesale prices... And I budget my year knowing there will be extra expenses.
That said a lot of what I make is similar to year round/regular YT.

I have a pretty standard chol hamoed supper menu from year to year.
Schnitzel and mashed potatoes
Meatballs and riced cauliflower
Stuffed omelet bar

My kids make themselves matzah pizza/ziti for lunches
And I make Pesach rolls a couple of times
(We eat gebrochts obviously)

When I make hard boiled eggs for the seder, I make 3 dozen or so. This way we have plenty in the fridge for a few days.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:56 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

Even for chol hamoed, which I think I said. We will have eggs for breakfast or lunch on chol hamoed, but it is not a dinner.

Right, this is breakfast and lunch, and dinner you need to make in any case? (It's not necessarily more work on Pesach). You can make chicken and potatoes, meat stew, shredded barbecued meat.... Cut up vegetables and fruit, salads, hard boiled eggs... we eat better pesach than we eat during the year.

Also, I was responding to people who hate pesach and/or are overwhelmed by it. If you love to patchke, and this makes pesach happy and fun for you, this advice is obviously not for you.

In my house, anybody who is old enough to complain about the menu is old enough to make their own food. When my kids were little I did make a lot of pots of plain cooked potatoes and hard boiled eggs. As they got older and wanted something more, they were more than free to make what they wanted. (I got this advice, when I was a young mother, from a wonderful older woman who is no longer with us, and it was so helpful to me, I'm passing it on).

amother

Birch

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 12:32 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

Do you all have tons of cleaning and household help and normal family to spend it with?

I love pesach once I get to it and my company leaves after first days But I work don’t have cleaning help and host difficult people. Pesach is so so hard on me. Tons of cleaning cooking and baking while working. Then needing to entertain kids

I habr very minimal cleaning help and literally no normal family (we have no family to spend the chagim with) and yet....we LOVE pesach. All of us.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:03 pm

just a tip for those who want to involve kids.. my mom used to do this and honestly I have the best memories of pesach cleaning.

she would hide little 'coupons' around the house and then we'd find them as we cleaned and get to keep them.
the prizes were 'extra snack for school' '5 minutes extra bedtime' small things but was so much fun!

as high schoolers who were off from nissan we would get treated to lunch once or twice when we spent the day cleaning and also we all got manicures before yt as a thank you.

obviously the ideas can be whatever would work for your family. but keeping the atmosphere fun with music and small rewards can make a 'stressful' boring job into a lovely family memory.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:18 pm

I love Pesach. I also get overwhelmed and sometimes stressed out in the weeks leading up to it.

I don't find this to be contradictory at all. Most kallos look forward to their weddings and also feel overwhelmed by the preparations. (The same for their mothers!) We love our newborns and also sometimes have a hard time with the exhaustion and constant care that they demand.

It is okay to genuinely love something and also have some real difficulties with it that you need to get through.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 2:41 pm

I rotate.
Years that I am doing better financial, have plenty of cleaning help, I love Pesach.

Years that money is very very tight, I struggle with liking Pesach. Groceries are expensive. We only eat round matza. We don't eat gebrochts. And my kids have egg and nut allergies.
So when there's less money for an abundance of chicken and meat and a variety of fruits and vegetables, I find it very hard to keep my family fed without a lot of hard work)
(And hungry kids are grumpy kids)