Is it normal for teens to do their own laundry?

keym

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:36 am

Golde wrote:

There are many takes on this. Mine is I want to do everyone's laundry together for efficiency and for financial reasons. Electricity prices are high. I always make sure to fill up the machine with everyone's clothes. If it were each man on their own, the machine would be going all the time, not being full. I also don't think it's much work and I like to be in charge.

My kids help out with other chores instead, such as vacuming, mopping, dishes. For us it makes much more sense to share those chores. But every family's needs are different.

I didn't do my own laundry growing up. It took me about 30 seconds to learn it when I moved out. It really isn't complicated to learn. I'm happy I had learnt to clean a house and keep it tidy though. But again do what makes sense for your family.

I feel similarly, but also for the clothing.
I separate my clothes into many category and different kinds of loads and temperatures. I find it lets the clothing last much much longer.
So technically I can have my teen daughter do her own laundry. But she would literally be doing 1 load for 2 uniform skirts and few pairs of tights. And she'd only do it once a week so it would make it stressful for her.
Whereas if I do it, I do 2 or 3 full dark hanging loads a week between all my boys and husbands black pants so I'd rather include her uniforms and tights into those loads.

For the longevity of her clothing (because I'm the one who buys it) I don't want her throwing in her pajamas and Shabbos sweaters and uniform skirts and shirts all together.
Nor do I want to buy her (or any of my teens) enough clothing to last until they can fill a load.

Same with my boys and white shirts. I definitely don't want the shirts being washed with anything else. But they each only have 3-4 shirts a week.
Id rather do 1-2 big loads a week of 15 shirts at a time rather than have the machine running for 3 shirts or throwing in other stuff.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:51 am

I did laundry from age 10. Not jut mine, also the rest of the family. I wasn't the only one who did it, we shared responsibility.

Just like other things that you could do in the house for everyone, but you have your kids pitch in - washing dishes, meals (setting table, serving, clearing table, cooking), cleaning their rooms or other rooms, sweeping or washing floors, cleaning other things.

This is how kids learn responsibility, by taking care of their own things and also of the family's things.

Also, learning how to do laundry young means that when they are moms and dads, they will know how to do laundry too. It helps set them up to be independent adults. And even for the boys, it also helps them not rely on their future spouse to mommy them.

amother

Brown

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:01 pm

this is weird to me... I was never asked to laundry as a child/teen.

did I help out? sure.. we folded and put away and on occasion would put up a load or two with specific instructions from my mother

I would never make my kids responsible for their own laundry. although I would for sure ask them to help with the process.
and when I needed the 'skill' as an adult I figured it out really fast with no issues.

amother

Navyblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:04 pm

amother Brown wrote:

That's exactly why it's weird to you, had it been done in your family, you wouldn't find it weird.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:05 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

There's plenty of time for kids to learn responsibility and know how to do it as moms and dads. No need to start them so young. Let them be children, too.
My DD didn't start doing the family laundry till a few months ago, when she got married (she did her own laundry as an adult). Neither did her husband. Now they seem to be managing fine doing things together and helping each other.
Let kids be kids.

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:10 pm

I started doing my own laundry at around 13-14. I got annoyed because my mom didn't have the patience to sort through and hang dry the stuff I wanted hang dried, and then things would shrink and be ruined. So if she taught me to do it. As far as filling up the machine, she taught me to look around for other things to fill with if needed for a full load (towels, siblings' laundry, etc). I would wash other family members' clothes but I wasn't responsible for putting it away.

amother

Starflower

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:44 pm

I am a mother that makes my teenagers do their laundry- obviously if something of theirs is thrown in mine, I’ll do it- but it’s mostly on them.
I started when I started working full time, one of my kids has a medical condition that creates an added stress, I have B’H a bunch of kids and I don’t have a cleaning lady.
I can do all the laundry myself, but it will be sitting unfolded and getting wrinkles-my kids prefer to do their own laundry so they know where to find their clothes.

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:44 pm

My kids are taught at a young age but I don't give them regular responsibility for it. They are expected (once they are capable) to handle it if there's something specific they want washed in a certain time frame. So if they wanted X item, but it wasn't done at last regularly scheduled wash, then they are responsible to wash it (as part of a full load, so they need to gather a load to do it. Not hard, there's always a load that needs washing).

amother

Green

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:02 pm

Chayalle wrote:

How is doing laundry any different than any other chores you ask your kid to do? My kids are kids. But they do their own laundry. They don't resent it the same way they don't resent doing any other chore. If they can't do it or don't want to I help them but for the most part it's no big deal to dump a hamper into the washing machine, put in a detergent pod, and turn the machine on.

amother

Offwhite

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:02 pm

In our home, when you go to overnight camp you start doing your own laundry. My mother had that rule and it felt very fair to us.
My kids don't have any regular chores, they are expected to pitch in, clean their own room and do their own laundry (aside for bedding).
I will help them out with it when asked of course.
My kids also know how to cook and can make supper and most of shabbos by the time they are 12, but I don't make them do it because I enjoy cooking. This is where I show the extra love and let them be treated.
I do the laundry for the little ones, me and my husband and all the linens, that's plenty work for me.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Green wrote:

You can ask a kid to dump in a load for you. But to make them responsible at age 10 for the family laundry seems excessive to me.

amother

Skyblue

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:14 pm

keym wrote:

I think it does depend on the specifics.

Even though my teenage boys do their own laundry, when dh recently suggested that 13 yo dd start doing her own laundry, I said that wouldn't be helpful to me. The younger kids and hers and my own clothing all go into the wash together anyway, which I wash.

But for the teenage boys to do a wash with just their white shirts, and just their pants, is actually that much less for me to do.

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:26 pm

Until this past summer, I did everyone's laundry. I lived in a building with a laundry room in the basement, and every Sunday I would put up as many loads as needed. There were enough machines that I could do as many loads as I want at once. When we started talking about buying a house, I said that there's no way I have time to do all that laundry on Sunday and I work during the week, so one of my conditions for moving is that everyone is responsible for their own laundry. (My youngest is 15.) Sometimes ds calls me from yeshiva to say that he forgot that he's out of white shirts or pants and asks me to do a load since he gets home late.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 1:49 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Whatever works for your family is great!
I was responding to a poster who was responsible for her entire family's laundry at age 10.

That was me Smile

I wasn't solely responsible for my family's laundry, like I said, we shared responsibility. When it was time for a load to be done, we had turns. I think I did 1-2 loads of laundry on one or two days of the week. But it easier not to hog the machine if everyone isn't washing 4 items of clothing each time. We just put a load in so it is efficient and then everyone's laundry gets done. I could also do a load of my own stuff if I preferred and had enough.

But I also don't see how it is different than washing everybody's dishes in the sink or washing the floor from everybody's mess, I'm genuinely curious why you see it that way.

Interestingly, out of the chores I had to do as a child (and I didn't have so much), laundry was (and still is) the one I hated least.