Is it normal for teens to do their own laundry?

amother

Daisy

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 9:46 am

I started doing my own laundry middle school age. My parents never made me, but my mother did laundry when she had time. There was no specific day, and sometimes I ran out of clean socks, etc. I asked to be taught and from then on did my own laundry.

Now that I'm a parent of kids 6-20, I do all the laundry. My boys in yeshiva do their own, but when they come home I still do theirs.

amother

Carnation

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:00 am

Never did my laundry growing up except for camp, and don’t do my laundry now, the cleaning lady does. Except for delicate items I don’t trust her with. My teens will be fine. When they need to learn skills they will, just like I did.

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:45 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

I would love to teach my teens to iron....

I learnt to iron on my father's handkerchiefs when I was about eight. Then I progressed to pillow cases. (Yes, my mother ironed everything.) After that I graduated to things like shirts.

When I was about sixteen I complained that my mother was ironing my skirts wrong - so she invited me to do it myself. She was rather taken aback when I took the iron from her and did them exactly the way I wanted. I don’t think she was expecting that kind of response! I also think she preferred to stay in charge of the ironing, because from then on she did them the way I wanted.

When I was in seminary, other girls knew how to do laundry, but I was the acknowledged expert on ironing!

peace2

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:56 am

I didn't growing up because my mother didn't want to have to share the machine and do laundry on a specific schedule but I was responsible for putting it away and any specialty items like handwashing. I was a bit clueless when I went to camp and seminary but it's not really so hard - I caught on quickly enough and bh we have clean well taken care of clothing. My mother did give me a crash course in washing men's shirts before I got married, which is not something I would have known how to do anyway.
I don't have teens yet but I imagine I'll just do all the laundry instead of sharing the machine

zaq

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:08 am

Lovable wrote:

Laundry is an easy thing to learn, when the time comes

It's so easy, in fact, that unlike advanced calculus, it can be learned quite young. Why should it not be?

amother

Lemonlime

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:17 am

My mother did everything for us when I was a kid. She didn't like to share her kitchen, her washing machine, nothing, and she was a SAHM who loved (and loves) giving to her children. I appreciate her so much, and I love her, and also it made the beginning of my marriage extremely stressful and overwhelming.

I had no idea how to boil a box of noodles. How to follow a recipe (what does "saute" mean?). How to do a load of laundry. What "cleaning a bathroom" looked like. How to wash a floor. And besides having the actual skills, I wasn't used to the whole concept of doing things regularly so that they don't pile up, using "free time" to do chores around the house, things like that. It was REALLY hard to figure that out while also navigating living in a new place, with a husband, and all that that entails. All at once.

So yes, I make sure that my kids, boys and girls, know how to do all of those things and more. They're very busy during the school year, the boys have long hours and the girls have lots of homework and things after school, so during the school year they're mostly free from chores except for Friday afternoons, and except for cleaning their rooms once a week so I can vacuum, and putting away their laundry after I've folded it.

But in the summertime, when they have plenty of free time, we have rotating chores so that they can learn both the skills and get used to the concept. They learn how to throw in a load of laundry, switch it to the dryer, hang what needs to be hung, sort, fold...how to wash dishes, what goes into the dishwasher on the bottom, on the top, and what needs to be hand-washed...how to wash a toilet, a tub, a bathroom counter, the floors...each person also cooks a couple of meals for the family each summer, following a recipe.

The summertime chores are only twice a week, and I make the easier for the younger kids (a first grader might just wipe down the bathroom counter while I show them how to move things to one side, wipe, etc.) and age-appropriate for the older kids (who are strong enough and tall enough for "clean the hall bath" to be on their lists, after I show them how to do it. But I really do think it's important. Laundry is only one part of that.

Right now I only have teenage boys, but I do wonder about having them do laundry for the whole family as my girls get older, though. Is it weird for boys to handle their sisters' underwear, or for girls to handle their brothers' boxers? I guess just dumping it into the washing machine, or even switching it to the dryer by the handful might be fine, just not sorting and folding?

That's my one hesitation, that just doesn't apply to our family right now.

amother

Electricblue

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:21 am

My kids are young but they already help me with laundry. My nine year old knows how much detergent and what settings to use, how to put things in the dryer. Unless something drastically changes I can't imagine being able to manage scheduling everyone to do their own laundry, I'd rather ask them to pitch in with the family laundry when it's being done.

#BestBubby

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:40 am

Re: let kids be kids

Kids who don't have enough chores as kids
Are unprepared for adulthood and marriage.

While learning to operate machine is easy,
Remembering to do laundry before you run out
Takes practice.

Kids should learn all life skills including child care, cooking, laundry, cleaning.

Teens should not be accustomed to a life of leisure as they will be overwhelmed and angry when they are working mothers.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 11:43 am

amother OP wrote:

I've read this a few times on this site.
Is there a reason for this? Why wouldn't the mother do everyone laundry?

My mother always washed my laundry and I helped fold it and put away. I think if the teens are living at home it’s not their job to wash their own laundry. It goes together with all the other laundry anyway.