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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Grape
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 Sun, Feb 18 2024, 1:41 pm
| amother Tuberose wrote: | | Taking pictures is one thing. Sending it around is another. |
My comment was directed at the taking pictures part. I agree that to send it around is not nice.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 2:07 pm
A influencer recently posted a video with a baby crying in a doona and you could see a bit of the mother, maybe just her skirt. The baby was crying in a restaurant and the influencer was furious at the mother for bringing her baby to a restaurant.
I was so turned off, I immediately unfollowed her after following her for several years. How disgusting to post a video of someone’s baby to shame them! Such an abuse of her large follower count to use it to shame a mother who went to a restaurant with her baby while on vacation. It’s barely possible to hire a babysitter when you’re on vacation. Are nursing mothers not allowed in restaurants? Besides the mother was rocking the doona and you could tell she was stressed and felt bad.
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amother
Mintcream
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 2:21 pm
There are popular 'street photographers' that post frum life around NYC.
It's not nice. Many times ppl are not looking their best, but these accounts have hundreds of followers and likes.
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amother
Snow
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 2:30 pm
| allthingsblue wrote: | | It’s not something I do and I think you can ask them not to take a pic of you but I wouldn’t label someone horrible because of it |
I don't know about any specific scenario but it is unfortunately legal. So if you asked a owrson to stop because you don't want your picture taken and they responded that since it's a public place they are allowed to photograph you, would you have a problem with this?
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amother
Amaryllis
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 4:21 pm
Am I missing something.
I have almost no interest in pictures of people I know.
What is the point of snapping pictures of random people and posting them to your SM account?
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amother
Mauve
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 4:26 pm
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Op did this happen to you?
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amother
Sienna
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 4:57 pm
| allthingsblue wrote: | | There’s a lot of things people do that bother me but I don’t call them horrible people… |
I agree with op, & in this scenario I'm ok calling them horrible. They're doing this deliberately, it's not that they're taking a selfie & by chance you can be seen in the background. Also there's that element of "lol frumpy chany wants to feel fancy & go on vacation.."
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:00 pm
| amother Burlywood wrote: | A influencer recently posted a video with a baby crying in a doona and you could see a bit of the mother, maybe just her skirt. The baby was crying in a restaurant and the influencer was furious at the mother for bringing her baby to a restaurant.
I was so turned off, I immediately unfollowed her after following her for several years. How disgusting to post a video of someone’s baby to shame them! Such an abuse of her large follower count to use it to shame a mother who went to a restaurant with her baby while on vacation. It’s barely possible to hire a babysitter when you’re on vacation. Are nursing mothers not allowed in restaurants? Besides the mother was rocking the doona and you could tell she was stressed and felt bad. |
I agreed with her 🤷🏼♀️
People spend a lot of money to eat out and a high end restaurant is not a place for a baby especially a screaming one.
If your baby is screaming non stop then take it for a walk around the block or pack up your food to leave.
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amother
Sienna
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:03 pm
| First Lady wrote: | | Wouldn't taking such a picture and forwarding it to others be the epitome of Lashon Horah and Hamalbin Pnei Chaveiro B'Rabim? It's something you can never take back. I cannot fathom anyone thinking that this is OK. |
Exactly. A relative had a very unflattering photo taken & it was published in a popular globally circulated publication. If that's not a horrible thing to do then I don't know what is.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:03 pm
| amother Wheat wrote: | I agreed with her 🤷🏼♀️
People spend a lot of money to eat out and a high end restaurant is not a place for a baby especially a screaming one.
If your baby is screaming non stop then take it for a walk around the block or pack up your food to leave. |
You can agree with that crying babies should be taken out of a restaurant.
But to take a picture/video of said crying baby & blast it on social media?? That is so so wrong and such a low thing to do. I hope you don't agree that it's an ok thing to do.
If you have an issue in a restaurant, bring it up with the staff in a quiet & respectful way.
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amother
Valerian
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:05 pm
| amother Wheat wrote: | I agreed with her 🤷🏼♀️
People spend a lot of money to eat out and a high end restaurant is not a place for a baby especially a screaming one.
If your baby is screaming non stop then take it for a walk around the block or pack up your food to leave. |
On the flip side, that's the risk you take going to a restaurant where there are other people. You want perfect silence then rent the place out for yourself or take your food home.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:06 pm
Not to me, but to people I know.
And I'm seeing it non stop on SM or whatsapp. It irks me to no end. People have no sense of respecting others privacy and personal space.
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:06 pm
| amother OP wrote: | You can agree with that crying babies should be taken out of a restaurant.
But to take a picture/video of said crying baby & blast it on social media?? That is so so wrong and such a low thing to do. I hope you don't agree that it's an ok thing to do.
If you have an issue in a restaurant, bring it up with the staff in a quiet & respectful way. |
If I remember the picture correctly it was a regular doona with maybe the mother’s foot or hand in it. Zero identifying features. At all.
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amother
Lightgray
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:09 pm
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Personally, I don’t get this. I don’t care if there’s a picture going around of me just walking on the street. If it was a picture of me picking my nose or with skirt tucked into my underwear, then yes, I’d be highly embarrassed and wouldn’t want that going around
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:11 pm
| amother Wheat wrote: | | If I remember the picture correctly it was a regular doona with maybe the mother’s foot or hand in it. Zero identifying features. At all. |
It doesn't matter. Just the act of taking a video of someone's crying baby, and posting in on SM, is wrong.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:13 pm
A frum Instagramer with a very large number of followers, once posted a picture of a women standing in line in a crowded store & she was nursing her baby. Why would someone do that.
I pity that women.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:14 pm
| allthingsblue wrote: | Good point
I still don’t get the point of labeling someone a horrible person for doing this | You;re correct. It's not just horrible, it's disgusting! Disgraceful! The whole idea of publicizing pictures of random people is so low!
As a refined Jewish woman, I DO NOT want my picture shared on social media! I'm a high school teacher and my fellow workmate's pictures was posted, she's sitting on a Ferris wheel with her feet dangling in the air. It's just pure רשעות to post something like that. Yes she was so embarrassed and asked them to remove it, but they refused.
Many many people were so humiliated to find their pictures on social media. It's beyond my understanding how anyone can think it's ok to do what they do.
My neighbor's boys were also posted a while back. She told me that they were shopping before Shabbos and her boys were holding a bouquet of flowers and a man stopped them to take a picture. My neighbor told him that she's not interested in having her boys advertised on social media so he shouldn't take the picture. the man replied that he's taking pictures for 'der Blik' a yiddish magazine with pictures from the community. Her boys were excited to be printed in that particular magazine and she agreed. She nebach kept buying that magazine every week and never found their picture. After some time, she scrolled on Instagram and found that picture posted. Nuff said.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:16 pm
| amother Lightgray wrote: | | Personally, I don’t get this. I don’t care if there’s a picture going around of me just walking on the street. If it was a picture of me picking my nose or with skirt tucked into my underwear, then yes, I’d be highly embarrassed and wouldn’t want that going around | I've seen pictures of women sitting on steps, and the view isn't pretty.
It's שפיכת דמים!
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:20 pm
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There’s an instagram called jewsonvacation that does this. Page hasn’t been updated in forever and it is very voyeuristic, but completely legal to take pictures of ppl in public.
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amother
Tealblue
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Sun, Feb 18 2024, 5:31 pm
| amother Snow wrote: | | I don't know about any specific scenario but it is unfortunately legal. So if you asked a owrson to stop because you don't want your picture taken and they responded that since it's a public place they are allowed to photograph you, would you have a problem with this? |
Yes, I have a problem with this.
There are laws in my country but for me as a Jewish woman there are also Torah laws.
If a random non Jew takes a picture of me and posts it on social media, I have a problem with that but I realize I don’t have a right to ask them not to do that.
Op is on imamother. We’re supposed to be frum women here. She has every right to tell us we shouldn’t do this and I’m glad she did.
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