No one would ever imagine that I... your turn

amother

Dimgray

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 6:13 pm

amother Blue wrote:

That I’m 2 different people, depending on who I’m with
When I’m with anyone from my childhood (old classmates, even siblings) I am quieter, less confident
The people who know me only from my adulthood know me as a confident person, not quiet at all

And I'm the opposite. I wish I can gain my confidence back!

amother

Apple

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 6:27 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Buy cholent every week. It comes out cheaper than making my own. And we like it better.
I wouldn't tell a soul 🙊

How is it possible that it comes out cheaper to buy cholent? The main ingredients are beans, barley, onion, potatoes, and water!

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 6:42 pm

That I can’t read evra, I’m married with kids and I can’t read from a suddir and I can’t say tahllim, I go to shul and pretend to daven, I can’t believe how I went thru a regular system and it was unnoticed.
I hope hashem is me moichal I daven in my own words

amother

Bergamot

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 6:58 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

I often feel like I hate my life too, but nothing to do with money - not that I’m rolling in that either. It’s because of the challenges I have with my kids, it’s just too much for me sometimes and I honestly don’t know how to push through. You really need to figure out how to change your perspective. Or a way to make more money. And thank Hashem a million times for your kids because I really don’t think there’s anything more painful than when your challenges ARE your children.

Actually wrote that I know I should be more appreciative and I actually thank Hashem for my children every day! This is the reason I wouldnt be open to ppl abt it bec I know that everyone would be u need to be more appreciative. Everyone has theyre struggle and something they have to work on in life. But, I posted this as an answer that this is s/t ppl wldnt know abt me. I put up a great front. That Im ok and dont need more. Plz dont put me down. And make me feel bad/guilty for having this struggle

yellowroses

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 6:59 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

I’m so sorry! This must be hard for you! Don’t worry, Hashem loves your tefilos in your own words. For generations women didn’t know how to read and prayed in their own words.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 7:00 pm

amother Apple wrote:

How is it possible that it comes out cheaper to buy cholent? The main ingredients are beans, barley, onion, potatoes, and water!

It's the meat.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 7:01 pm

amother Apple wrote:

How is it possible that it comes out cheaper to buy cholent? The main ingredients are beans, barley, onion, potatoes, and water!

Because they put in very little meat.

amother

Apple

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 7:03 pm

amother Slateblue wrote:

Because they put in very little meat.

So if you put in the equivalent amount of meat it would cost less from home. It's not cheaper to buy ready made.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 7:05 pm

amother Apple wrote:

So if you put in the equivalent amount of meat it would cost less from home. It's not cheaper to buy ready made.

But then it wouldn't have the same flavor. You can make a cholent with a big hunk of meat and marrow bones and the whole thing tastes incredible, even if you don't actually serve the meat. A tiny piece of meat will not give the same flavor.

amother

Pewter

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 7:07 pm

that the only difference between an agunah and me, is that I never had the guts to leave.
I dont think he would ever have given me a get.
I just always figured my life would go from terrible to unbearable by leaving.

amother

Topaz

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 10:19 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

I can read but not well and not fluently. I don’t do homework with my kids because I don’t trust myself to notice mistakes.
I don’t know how to daven and hate going to shul for this reason. My dh sees me as a smart person and doesn’t believe me.

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 10:56 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

lol my dh doesn’t believe me either. What are we supposed to do? Do we have to help ourselves? Will we have to give din vacheshbin?

Growing

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:04 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

lol my dh doesn’t believe me either. What are we supposed to do? Do we have to help ourselves? Will we have to give din vacheshbin?

You can help yourself
I highly doubt you will need to give din vcheshbon - we only have to do that if we sin

amother

Narcissus

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:06 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

I strongly recommend you go to an optometrist who specializes in binocular dysfunction. Many times this is a missed diagnosis.
I’m sorry you’re suffering.

amother

Green

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:15 pm

No one would imagine that my father doesn't care about me at all. That he on purpose skips my birthdays, things like that. I was always a very good daughter but sometimes you do everything to please your parents and they still don't like you. He pretends to like me to other family members and to his friends. I know I'm a grown woman, but it hurts. I always make sure my kids know I love them and I'm always there for them.

amother

Mimosa

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:32 pm

Like a poster above I was everything in school , popular , top of the class etc everyone was jealous of me
Well I grew up in a a dysfunctional home where I physically shielded my siblings from abuse and took the brunt of it all. Today I look successful and have it all together but the little girl inside me is so scarred and hurt but so ignored. I fall asleep watching shows every night to get away from myself . It’s so hard not to perpetuate the cycle and it’s my struggle every day. It takes every ounce of my strength to be a good mother and when I fail I fall apart.

amother

Gray

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 11:46 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

my therapist recommended the book The Body Keeps The Score. It was extremely helpful and validating, hope you can find healing.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 12:01 am

amother Lightyellow wrote:

..I am so lonely.
Don't have any real friends, only acquaintances.
Married many years...

discovered the term emotional neglect and realized that it is exactly what happened to me.
as a result of growing upwith it, I shut myself down for protection, and years later, find it hard to connect to other ppl..
hence the loneliness..

Same here