Where is it all going?

amother

Alyssum

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:47 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

These are all good suggestions, please go on and list more...would probably be helpful for others

Yes I would appreciate them!
I'm also living in Jerusalem, being partially supported (2k a month which we are extremely grateful for!), I'm working and studying and my husband gets a kollel wage.
I'm trying my best to get expenses as low as possible and whatever advice I can get is love to hear!

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:53 pm

Thank you to all the many replies. I have been reading through all of them and have a lot to think about. I would, though, appreciate if people spoke a bit kinder, but I guess I can’t be picky here!

I do not plan on living in israel forever. We plan to live here for another few years or so, while my husband really gets all he can from his learning. He will probably eventually get a chinuch position.

We do both come from very comfortable backgrounds, and were supported for a long while, not really having to think about anything. You’re all right, that we have to rethink things, im just not sure what. The car is a $300 expense, im not sure of thats worth rethinking. I can probably cut back $300 on groceries more easily than getting rid of my car.
Most of my kids clothes are hand me downs from siblings, but some needs to be bought. I over estimated each thing I spend on, because id rather estimate up than down.

To all those who keep talking about chomesh, I understand it’s not halacha!! We’ve just been told many times from our rabanim that we’d only see bracha from it, and we have zero to lose from it. And will continue to give it.

I may have to sit down with my husband and a rebbi or rav to figure everything out again. With giving chomesh and everything, we will have a bit over $5,000 per month. With a $3k rent, is that doable? 2k for other expenses?

I guess its a mixture of a vent post (I never really knew how to budget well), and a request for recommendations. Everyone saying I dont want advice is wrong. I really really do. And I appreciate everyone who listed ideas of how I can save money.

Also if someone has an idea of how I can make more money in the mornings, I’d love that too!!

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:57 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

It's not someone else's money. It was given to her to use as she sees fit. She could presumably use the money for fancier clothes, takeout dinners, more cleaning help, or weekly date nights. She is choosing to use a good chunk of it for tzedakah. That's a good thing in my book.

If she was given $250 to buy her kids clothing for Yom Tov and she wanted to give chomesh on THAT... I'd ask a Rav.

Unless her parents and in-laws are very specific about what they are willing to give money for, she is entitled to allocate her budget as she likes.

Thank you for this. Yes, our parents say exactly this to us all the time. I was always told, “if you want to live in a tiny gross apartment to eat out every night for dinner, do that! If you want to live in a gorgeous penthouse and eat no more than bread, do that! Use the money however you’d like”- and we are told this constantly. And we asked them permission before giving chomesh. I dont know why I have to explain this so many times

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 2:29 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

Can you get a different job for longer hours that pays more to replace the part time job

I dont think I can. I don’t have any masters degree, and am making 45K for a basic job. I cant imagine finding a better job than that in israel, even for full time. I am not paid hourly, which is why my salary is higher. Sometimes I work longer hours (think 6 hr a day), sometimes less (3 hrs). I would love to get some sort of side income from the morning, I just don't know how!

Someone mentioned babysitting- here, there are so many that the ones who start doing it can’t find kids to come!

But any other ideas! I would do a home food business, but also so so many that its so difficult to “make it” in that world.

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 3:52 pm

amother Cinnamon wrote:

From a practical point of view
1.there are lots of kollel sales where you can bulk buy essentials. Use them wisely
2.if you are in Central Yerushalayim you don't need a car. Get rid of it and use the money for a rav kav and emergency taxi fund. Use taxis for essentials only. We all used to shlep our shopping home on the bus or our stroller. It was OK, even in the summer. We drank water from the taps. We put it in the fridge. No bottled water.
3 buy everything in bulk. Pasta, rice, beans, spices. Buy cheap spices, not American imports. Think like an Israeli
Stop buying plastic disposables and use cheap plates that you can wash. It really doesn't take more than 5 minutes to wash up the equivalent of the disposables when you are already washing up pots and pans.
4. You don't need 2 types of meat on shabbos. You don't need to eat meat or chicken or fish daily. You don't need fancy American yoghurt. These are luxuries. Read all for the boss and see what kollel life was like in Europe then. Or Rebitzin kanievsky and check out the photos of her kitchen.
5. Crock pot meals are cheaper and easy. Small amount of chulent meat (buy frozen cubes) and beans. Loads of recipes online. Shabbos meals - you say you don't cheshbon shabbos cost - well you need to count it even if you hold H' will send it back to you without hishtadlus.
7. Buy kids clothes second hand. Lots of us do this. It is better for the environment and for sustainability as well as your bank balance. You will say it is shameful or impossible. It isn't.
8. Appreciate you spend more than you choose to earn as a family. Then work out what to do. Cut some stuff out. You are living a wealthy person's life on a poor person's salary (!although 7500 dollars/month is wealthy in my book too). Look online at budgeting advice and use it. Don't wait until you are thousands of dollars in debt.
9 learn to systematize your home - sponga, laundry, tidy up etc. Then you won't need a cleaner. Your husband can do plenty here.

I could go on but I'll get pages of abuse for even this so will stop.

Excellent post

amother

Forsythia

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 4:57 pm

Buy chicken and meat in the bulk sales and only cheaper cuts of meat (we haven't bought #5 in years).
Buy your kids the 1.5 shekel strawberry lebens, not the 4.5 shekel strawberry yogurt.
Buy the cheap Angel water challah (3 for ten shekel sometimes) and not the fancier challahs.
Bake cake instead of buying.
If you won't drink tap water get one of those noam1 machines that filter it for you instead of buying bottled water.
Don't buy imported American products.
Buy big snack bags and portion it out into sandwich bags instead of buying small snack bags.
I'm trying to figure out how you are spending $100 a month on clothes if you also get hand me downs. What are you buying?

amother

Foxglove

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:23 pm

renslet wrote:

Groceries
You can really lower them if you know where to shop and how.
There are tons of blogs and books.
Be open to different ideas, I once made rice and lentils with fried onions in the nine days and it has become my kids favorite food, who knew and it's so cheap.
Minimize leftovers, make less or repurpose. Make sure you are not leaving stuff to rot in the fridge.
There are so many things that you can do to lower expenses they just take time and effort

Don’t mean to hijack but can you post a recipe for that?

amother

Forsythia

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:39 pm

Also I think part of the issue is you are listing expenses in dollars but you live in Israel and have to think in shekel. Your money from your parents hits your bank account in dollars but you probably withdraw it in shekel so you need to think of how much you are spending in shekel. I was thinking of your list and I have no idea how many hours of cleaning help you get for $300 a week. Your cleaner probably charges 60 nis an hour. He can probably clean your entire apartment (unless it's massive) in three hours which is 180 shek. So that's like what, sixty dollars? How many hours of cleaning help do you have already? Cut down on the cleaner (you don't need to cancel completely but cut down the hours.)
IDK how old your kids are but if they are the age for free iriya gan then send them there instead of private. There are subsided maons and mishpachtons as well for babysitting, ask around in your neighborhood.
Shop in big grocery stores (shaaray revacha, other ad, rami Levi. I disagree with the poster who suggested yesh). Don't buy anything in makolets, everything is more expensive there.

amother

NeonGreen

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:30 pm

You’re halachically obligated to take care of your family before giving tzedakah to others. Family comes first when deciding on where to give maaser. You, as recipients of others tzedakah, need to be using that money for where it’s needed most- your family. You clearly cannot afford to give 20% to others, use it to take care of your family in good health.

Im in a total opposite situation. My husband and I make a combined 170k, but between mortgage, childcare, student loan debt, etc we are living paycheck to paycheck and don’t give maaser. I feel terrible about it but we’re working so hard to take care of our family and I dont know what else we can do.

lamplighter

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:57 pm

I can't give you practical advice because I don't live in Israel and I think most budget tips are location specific.
What I do think you should do is start tracking your spending. Write down every time you spend money, how much and for what. Then you'll be able to see where the little things are eating your money.

Last edited by lamplighter on Thu, Mar 28 2024, 3:30 am; edited 1 time in total

renslet

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:12 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

Don’t mean to hijack but can you post a recipe for that?

There are tons of recipes online Google mujadara.
My kids like it really basic, I cook brown lentils for like 10 minutes in the pressure cooker drain water then add rice, double water to the rice and some salt. Cook until the rice is ready (not pressure)
I fry 8-10 onions till crispy and when the rice is ready mix it all together.
It's really easy, very healthy high in iron and so cheap ( I also read that if you eat it with a high vit c food like bell peppers the iron gets absorbed better