4 year old being very chutzpahdik

red sea

Mon, Jan 30 2006, 6:06 pm

At the moment tell her that we don't speak like that to our mommy/daddy, send her to time out/ her room - whatever you use, tell her she can come out when she calms down and she can try again to say what she wants nicely, help her rephrase it if appropriate depending on maturity level, thats what we do anyway. ex: Like instead of "that's ...." tell her she can say "I don't like that because it makes me feel...", then we usually follow by saying "I know you don't like it, I'm sorry you feel ie:sad, but that is not going to change. Suggest an appropriate time that she can do what she wants, tell her you love her and then completely drop the topic, ignore her if she is still in a huff, they get over things quickly at this age. hope this is of help to you.

sorele

Tue, Feb 14 2006, 10:50 pm

my five years old can be also, but everytime I speack to her I do it with lots of respect so when she wants to be chutzpadik I ask her to say it as mommy will say it or alse I can't listened to her, when she speaks nicely I remind her how nice she knows how to speak.
no magic, everything with kids is perseverance

RedVines

Tue, Feb 14 2006, 11:01 pm

my soon to be 4 year old son is starting this...a little attitude in his voice, saying No, questioning everything I ask him to do...he really crossed the line tonight, put in timeout etc.

He saw how upset and frustrating he was making up that he said, You guys hurt my feelings but I will listen to Mommy and Tatty now.

Where did that come from?

amother

Sun, Feb 19 2006, 10:18 pm

I guess my son is precocious then. he started being chutzpadik before he even turned 3!! and even now at 3 1/2, he's only getting worse.
I would love some advice too!
he does it all, from sticking out his tongue, giving that defiant "I dont care" shrug. and simply saying no.

morningstar

Mon, Feb 20 2006, 8:21 am

Depends on the context--

If child is overtired or using chutzpah as a habit of speech, rather than openly defiant, humor sometimes helps to keep the tension from escalating.

For whiny or otherwise demanding requests, I sometimes pretend to be a reporter,
Today in kitchen, there is a little girl named so and so, asking her mother for something. Unfortunately, her mother can't hear her because she isn't saying please. I wonder what she is saying."

Or I will ask the child to open his/her mouth very wide and pretend to be yanking something out ( the chutzpah, or whinies), roll it into a ball, and toss it away.

Or I say, "Hm, whats the magic "P" word? Is it policeman? Pumpernickel?
Petunia? by then the child is often in giggles, and saying please.

If you think the child is 'testing limits", say, in a firm tone of voice, "WE don't talk to mommies that way. Iwill not listen to you until you ask nicely. This is how I want you to ask." Make sure it is clear to the child what you want.

For outright defiance, time-out or gentle restraint are often in order.

If you are asking your child to do something, and the child refuses, I make clear what the consequence of refusal will be, I.e. child refuses to pick up a toy, and I say, " I will count till three, and then if you don't pick up the toy, I will. If I pick up the toy, it is getting put away on a high shelf etc. and you won't be able to play with it anymore."