obsessive eating in 11yr old, whatdoIdo?

amother

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 6:56 pm

My son has had bad eating habits for a few years now. He gained a heap of weight which I asked about in another thread and was reassured it was normal for his age.
The issue is that I've noticed what seems to be a obsessive way of eating.
I thought at first I was just being overly critical and brushed it from my mind but my parents have noticed it too and spoken to me of their concerns. My husband also claims it's embarrassing when they are at kiddushim and such.

First of all he poshut stuffs himself, and in general it's unpleasant to watch him eat, very poor manners that I've been trying to get him to improve on for years and it's not working.

Secondly he seems obsessive in the way he eats. As long as there is food out, he goes for it. If I don't clear off the table after meal time he will keep coming back for more. Recently at a simcha all the kids went out to play and chat and he stayed inside for the whole 2 hours going back for food again and again, not socializing at all.

I'm not sure what avenues to investigate. B"h we have an decent life, no traumas lo aleinu! marriage intact, money is an issue sometimes but not in a major way.
I'm not sure who to speak to or what to do or what to make of it.

anyone been down this road and can advise me or guide me?

Thanks in advance

signed,
worried mom

Blue jay

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 8:28 pm

IM no expert, but the one thing you can control is the food in your enviroment, As the mother Im guessing you do most of the shopping and preparing.. What Im driving at is keep the junk food out of the house, fill every ones plate before it reaches the table and dont leave second helpings on the table within easy reach.

As a kid I was a muncher and was slightly overweight. My mom kept donuts and such around the house and I couldn't help myself... Also try to offer your son a physical activity that doesn't involve access to food. Riding a bike, roller blading keep him moving and having fun!

faigyl

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 9:21 pm

I know a family that has this problem with a bunch of kids and it was REALLY unhealthy so they cracked down on it.
Locked the fridge and cabinets at night- were super strict on the late night snacking. BUT she's very good about always having cut up vegetables, she has a HUGE salad with supper every night etc. She lets them eat ( not at crazy hours) but it HAS to be healthy food.
It's good for your other kids too eventhough they dont have this problem.

solo

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 9:52 pm

dont know how practical this is, but my cleaning lady of all people gave me this suggestion.
she bought a small fridge that fit nicely in the dinette area and filled it with drinks and healthy snacks - fruit, veggie, pickles... so that her husband doesnt go rooting through the fridge.

another idea is to serve plated meals instead of self serve. that way u control the portions ,and maybe even give him an idea what a serving should look like. when he asks for thirds or fourths that might open some dialogue bout portion control, waiting to feel full...

some people think dont bring it to his attention, or make him feel uncomfortable bout his eating, others say talk and monitor and help him take maters into his own hand.
as a somewhat fat adolescent I say talk to him about it. but dont be so overbearing he has to choke his food down.
good luck.

amother

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 9:57 pm

My dd eats really fast and therefore can consume large quantities of food at each meal. . She's 9. She never used be that way, so I was trying to figure out when it started and why. I realized that it started in 2nd grade. . . .the kids have 1/2 hour for lunch and between washing and bentching they end up with only 15 mins to eat. . .so they shove it all in as fast as they can! It's a terrible situation.

I've explained to my dd the way a body works and the fact that it takes the stomach 20 mins to send the brain an "I'm full" signal. If she says she's hungry after finishing her dinner, I offer fruit. When she starts eating fast at home, I remind her to chew and swallow before she puts more food in her mouth. My kids are also not allowed to take food w/o asking, this I've always done.

mummiedearest

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:00 pm

op, would you be willing to take him to a nutritionist? there are nutritionists out there who specifically work with kids and teach them how to eat healthily. I've never used one myself, but I know a number of adults who have benefitted from going to a nutritionist. if you see a problem now, nip it in the bud.

mltjm

Tue, Sep 08 2009, 10:17 pm

You might want to explore if somehow, along the line, he adopted emotional eating- when people eat to comfort themselves, nothing to do with hungry or full. It can happen if food is used as reward or punishment, or for many other reasons. I'm not saying this is definitely the reason, just that it's something you might want to keep an eye out for- does he eat more when he's upset, or does he have any emotional issues. If you catch it now, it'll be really easy to fix compared to later.

mama-star

Wed, Sep 09 2009, 12:21 am

mltjm wrote:

amother

Wed, Sep 09 2009, 1:12 am

Thank you all for your replies,
I already serve the plates ready with the food or I put a set amount of servings on the table but he is always asking for seconds. I usually put the side dish in the middle of the table and the sallad and they all serve themselves and that's the part he helps himself to more of. The sallad I don't mind but maybe the side dish I'll serve on plates instead
he doesn't eat nush so much, just lot's of food. If I let him he can eat 3 pieces of meat but I won't let him take more then 2. Even 2 I'm not sure is good

mummiedearest wrote:

I think this is something I'll look into.

mltjm wrote:

Yes well this is what I am concerned abut but how do I explore something like that?
Should I take him to a shrink?

ValleyMom

Wed, Sep 23 2009, 8:29 pm

Sounds like the beginning of an eating disorder...
Nip it in the bud.
My youngest has "no shut off valve" He will keep eating and eating. We let him one small portion of seconds but after that NO MORE.
I tell him to wait half an hour and if he is still hungry we will come up with a solution.
We also encourage physical activity.
Outdoor play: basketball, scooter, soccer etc.
Good luck!
As far as the kiddush at shul. Tell him ONE plate and THAT's IT or... leave shul after davening and only go to the kiddush once a month.