Is my boy too sensitive?

amother

Mon, Aug 02 2010, 9:47 pm

My baby is 6.5 months old.

Today something in my house fell to the floor in a room next to where my baby boy was on the floor playing. It made a bang and he started to cry hard and heavy and I had to go pick him up and comfort him.
Then I was playing on the floor with him and I took a toy that you press a button and a voice comes out to say "cow" or "dog" and I pressed it and my ds got so scared and started to cry!! At a TOY!

I do baby him (he IS a baby) but is this something that should worry me, is he too scared? He's a boy - will he toughen up as he gets older?

louche

Tue, Aug 03 2010, 8:41 am

1. A baby's ears are far more sensitive than an adult's, and many if not most baby toys are way too loud for an infant's safety, let alone his nerves. Fear of loud noises is one of only two inborn fears in humans, the other one being fear of falling. So it is totally normal for a baby to be scared and cry when a loud noise goes off suddenly. If he did NOT startle or cry, THAT would be a reason to worry and have his hearing checked out.

2. Your baby is a BABY, for crying out loud! There is neither a need nor a reason to "toughen him up". What, you plan to enroll him in the Amoebaweight Class Extreme Pediatric Boxing Championship when he's a year old? At this stage, he's not actually a "boy"--he's a baby.

3. That being said, babies do respond to the emotions and reactions of people around them. Often, a child will fall or bump into something, look around at the adults present, and if they look worried or alarmed or start making a fuss, will cry to bring down the roof. otoh, if the adult(s) present are calm and don't react, or if there are no adults visible, the child will go on with whatever he was doing. So when your child falls or whatever, DON'T immediately swoop down on him and start making distressed noises. WATCH him calmly and see how he reacts. If he's actually hurt or seriously frightened, he'll cry almost immediately. If not, he's fine and there's no reason for you to get hysterical and make him hysterical, too.

jaysmom, the response you suggest--I wouldn't call that "toughening up"-- I would call that responding appropriately to an event.

amother

Tue, Aug 03 2010, 10:30 am

I agree with the above posters.
How you, as a parent, respond to a "boo-boo moment" in your kid's life can usually make the difference to how the child reacts, whether to a loud noise or to a small bump.
Ie: child trips. If you swoop in and give him a big hug, "Oh my poor baby, where does it hurt??? Let me give you a kiss and a lolly", you can be sure he'll start screaming, and prob do the same thing the next time he gets a small ouchie.
OR, wait and see if he's really hurt, then say, with a smile, "oopsie!" And set him on his feet if needed. Likely, he'll go on with his life.
Even if a child is really hurt, c"v, staying calm and minimizing what happened, while at the same time getting help, is also the best course. When my ds fell, and his bone was sticking out of his arm (note: this is NOT a good thing!), I quickly covered it so he wouldn't see, while calling hatzaloh and soothing him.

It is a good idea, if you are still concerned, to mention this to his dr, at the next visit.
Do you keep the house very quiet? Perhaps get him used to noises slowly, like with music playing, etc.

mimimom

Tue, Aug 03 2010, 10:59 am

The important thing is that YOU don't feed into this. By rushing to reassure him you are inadvertently sending the message that there is something to be scared of. My Mom was great about these things. If one of us fell down she'd pick us up to be sure we were alright, but just say"Oops. You fell down. Let's get you back up." Sending the message "this is no big deal" In the same way, if there's a loud noise it's better to quickly say, with a lot of animation, "Wow! What a big noise!" and laugh. (All this in the second it takes him to react) Kids model their reactions on the ones they see around them so this will give him a better alternative way to react, and being REALLY animated will catch his attention and hopefully short circuit the crying that was about to start. Keep it up and he'll start reacting that way, rather than crying. If he cries DON"T make a big deal about it! Just be matter-of-fact. "Boy that was a LOUD noise. It really startled us. But see--it's really nothing."

chatouli

Tue, Aug 03 2010, 1:10 pm

My DS is like this too. We were in a (quiet) pharmacy a few months ago and someone sneezed. He got a huge fright and started crying hysterically! She felt so bad but I told her not to apologize for sneezing!

But he's reacting less and less to loud noises. Where they used to make him cry, now he'll just jump a bit and move on. I think growing a bit older helps. That and experience - maybe he's learning that loud noises happen and things are still ok.