my child thinks babies are "bought" at the hospita

melalyse

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 7:05 pm

Whenever I read threads like that I wonder, "what is wrong with my kid". I was going to tell my DS who is almost 5 that we are going to have a new baby when I was in my 8th month, BUT I was wearing maternity clothes for the 3rd day @ week 17 and DS says, "Mommy do you have a baby in your tummy?" So, I can't pull the wool over this one's eyes. Some of the questions that he asks about it are annoying, but some are so cute, it shows that 4-5 yrs old really think about certain things. He wanted to know if the baby is wearing clothes inside, how it eats, how it goes to the bathroom, how it knows when to come out. I think that soon your son will l start to look at mommy's around him and notice big belly and then baby and realize.

marina

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 7:08 pm

this thread is so funny. I love the Gimbel's story.

I will add my own. I had a friend explain to me that you take a pink pill and get a girl and take a blue pill and get a boy. This friend lied a lot and so I didn't believe her. A year or so later, she finally got the real story and told me that one and I didn't believe because she lied a lot. I thought it was another one of her weird stories.

My dh had a little friend in kindergarten or 1st grade who wanted a baby sister. She was told that a boy puts a seed in the girl. So she kept chasing him around with different kinds of fruit and nut seeds that he was supposed to put in her, so she could get a baby. He thought she was just weird.

morah

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 7:37 pm

When I was 4, I knew that babies grew in the mommy's tummy. As to how they got there, I thought that it had to do with the wedding- a baby got in your tummy at the end of your wedding. The thing is, I thought that every time a couple wanted a new baby, they had to have another wedding! When my best friend had a baby sister, I remember feeling kind of insulted that my family hadn't been invited to the "wedding"...

I have a brother who's 9 and when he asked (maybe 2 years ago) how babies got in there, my step-father told him that daddy plants a "baby seed" in mommy and it grows into a baby, just like a plant seed grows into a plant. I don't know what would have happened had he asked for the details of the "planting", but that didn't happen, and so we have a satisfactory, not-too-graphic, honest answer.

My 3 year old brother also knows that babies grow in mommy's belly. Unfortunately, he likes to point to every large, female belly and declare "There's a baby in there!" which has led to some embarrassment for my step-mother. Same brother knows all about breastfeeding too. I was playing with him over RH and he brought his Elmo toy to me saying "Elmo's hungry, please feed him"- so I started to pretend to spoon-feed him, but then he said "No, not like that- like this!" and he lifted up his shirt...

DrMom

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 8:49 pm

lizard8 wrote:

don't most little kids think the dr opens up the belly like a refrigerator and takes out the baby?
When they find out most births aren't like that, how do they react?

Kids are building their knowledge (schema) through experiences and what they are taught. They are constantly learning new things and changing their view on a certain concept.

For your child to hear at 7 that the baby actually grows in the stomach and isn't bought wont be so traumatizing. Your child will be used to changing theories and information in his mind.

My then-6-year-old thought that the baby comes out your bellybutton, and couldn't figure out how the baby can possibly fit through such a small space. (Before my first birth, the latter is a complication that crossed my mind when considering the size of my v@gina as well, but I digress).

B"H he's very inquisitive and intelligent, so I wanted to explain things correctly yet as simply as possible. I explained to him that imas have a special little baby tunnel that the baby comes out which is located near the hole where pee-pee comes out.

His response: "Hmmm. That's interesting." He never mentioned it again.

Edited to remove imamother's automatic replacement of v@gina with "private part"

manhattanmom

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 9:07 pm

The two times I was in a position to explain how a baby gets into mommy I was able to just say, "the baby doesn't go inside. It starts growing from inside of its mommy." and that was enough of an explanation for them. Mind you, neither of these kids were my own children so I didn't really feel it was my place to give more information.
One was my sister who was 6 years old when I was pregnant with my first--the first baby she really knew being the baby of our family...And the second was a student of mine--an 8 year old girl who was blind.

amother

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 9:31 pm

I was in a small shul on yom kippur with my toddler and there was a cute 5 yr old playing with her. during shemona esrai when it was absolutely quiet ( I wasnt davening then bec I needed s/o to watch her while I said shemona esrai) the girl loudly asks me where did u get your baby from, so I whispered to her that she mine and I brought her to shul. so she loudly insists - no where did u get her. so I said from hashem (the only answer I could think of with the whole shul being able to hear the conversation) she proudly and loudly announced that HER baby is from "the shuk" (a popular store that has since closed)

I guess her mother was home with the purchase, bec her father was the one who was taking care of her (when she wasnt in the womens section playing with my baby)

my 5 yo dd's teacher had a baby and she said her teacher is pregnant (obviously repeating s/t from another kid) I tried explaing that she WAS pregant which of course led to talking about big bellies....
an hour later my 3 yr old points to a (single) girl and says she's pregnant. she wasnt even fat but I guess it was info being processed.

anyways a year later with 2 aunts pregnant they have still to mention anything. (bh)

RachelEve14

Mon, Sep 20 2010, 10:56 pm

Tamiri wrote:

Do you want a Chareidi, Chassidish, Freidasima or other-sector-of-Judaism response?

I think we need a new popup when you post with these choices. The everyone answering will verify which group they are and how they are answering so the OP can get appropriate answers / chizzuk.

shanie5

Tue, Sep 21 2010, 7:40 am

When my mom was expecting my youngest sister, she went to visit a friend, taking my then 3 year old sister with her. The 3 yr old was playing with a doll that was her size. My moms friend said "when your mommy has the baby, I will trade the baby for the doll".

After the baby was born, they went again to visit this friend. As they were leaving, this friend was holding the baby and waving goodbye (as if whe were keeping her). The 3 year old tugged on my moms skirt and said "She forgot to give us the doll"!