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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
curlyhead
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Mon, Jul 19 2004, 7:33 am
I am going crazy with my 17month old son. He wants constant attention and does not let me do anything. He does not really play with his toys if he does he will play for the most 5 minutes at a time. If he is quiet that means he is making trouble - empting my purse or pulling the tissues out of the box or climbing. He likes going out but I can't take him out a whole day. I have stuff to do. The only time I have to do anything is by his nap. By the time he goes to sleep at night I am too tired to do anything.
I would love to send him to playgroup but it is expensive.
Any ideas? Are all toddlers like this? When I go to my mothers house he is so much better behaved. If my siblings are there he will not even come to come to me. I think the problem is that at home he is bored.
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proudmom
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Mon, Jul 19 2004, 11:40 am
you should try to get him a toy that is very entertaining. That he can sit for hours. Try lego, or give him your pots and pans with a spoon to play with.
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Yael
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Tue, Jul 20 2004, 4:41 pm
make sure that you have toys that are age appropriate and challenging for him. I remember when my son was that age he was just outgrowing all his baby toys. he needed more challenging things like big lego or puzzles, or stacking blocks. he'll need your help to show him what to do. but if you get him started he should continue. also just keep in mind that one of the parts of being a mother is that your time is devoted to your kids and you hardly have time for yourself. when they sleep is when you take care of yourself. if you really need a break drop him off at your parents house.
also set a time in your schedule of things to do that day a time to devote entirely to your son. I usually spend the whole afternoon after my kids wake up from their naps playing with them. I find that its easier to play with them first and then go do whatever I have to do, than to attempt to get something done and go nuts cuz my son needs my attention. I look at it like a bank account. if you invest time in your kids then when you need time from them (you need them to entertain themselves) you're more likely to get it. if you find that you're having a hard time withdrawing "time", its usually b/c you havent yet made a big enough deposit. remember that its also not proportional. you deposit a LOT more than you withdraw.
let me know how it goes.
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Rivka
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Sat, Jul 24 2004, 8:25 pm
I find that I can do stuff with my toddler about, but he does busy himself with things.
I put stuff he isn't allowed to touch out of reach and I have locks on the outside of the main doors he can't go in so that makes it easier.
If I am busy in the kitchen like cooking or cleaning dishes I sit him in his high chair and play music for him to sing to (which is him making a singing sort of voice) or I chat to him or give him something to nibble on.
To make him interested in his toys I tend to show him how to play and often play them with him.
He can also sit and look at books for a while. But one terrible thing I do do if I really can't be with him and need to do something I put a DVD on and he watches that for however long it takes for me to finish.
But what Yael says is true, maybe your youngster is craving extra attention and the only way to do is to give him it.
I have reading time where he chooses a book and he sits on my knee and I read it to him and after I finish I sit him on couch and he reads it to himself looking at all the pictures, but I would advise on giving hard board books for such occasions.
If you have a regular routine where at a certain time of the day it is just you and him he will probably let you do your thing more coz he knows he will get a set time for you and him.
It doesn't have to be a whole evening, it could even be an hour.
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curlyhead
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Wed, Jul 28 2004, 5:25 am
Thanks for all your replys.
I did not have a chance to reply this past week.
I read your messages and I have been trying to give him more attention. I always sit and spend like 10 min a day reading books and sometimes I try to spend time talking and singing with him.
I just tried buying him a new toy - he is not too intrested. he'll play for a couple minutes at a time. We have lego's he likes it more then his other toy but it only last a couple minutes
I think he is just an outgoing peoples person he loves people and stangers. He is not the type to play buy himself. If soemone else is with him he is fine.
I find it is easist to just take him out of teh house - shopping, to the park etc.
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Chanie
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Thu, Jul 29 2004, 11:08 am
I came across this article today that may give you something to try to get your child to be more of an in dependent player.
I found it on the parenting solutions from fisher price:
Independent Play: How To Help Your Child
Your child may need help getting started playing by herself. Try setting out the materials for a simple project, or taking out one of her more interesting toys, or demonstrating something new she'll be able to do on her own.
Once she's busy, don't disappear completely. She may not want to play alone if she knows you'll always leave. You can do something else, but stay close by in case she needs help or simply wants to show you what she's done. You might try doing the same kind of activity: she can look at picture books while you read, or she can draw pictures while you pay bills.
Be Patient
Children may vary in their degree of independence. Some children are naturally more active, more focused, or more group-oriented. Their order of birth can also make a difference.
When you're playing together, you should generally take a back seat so your child gets to try and to discover things on her own. When you notice that she's absorbed in what she's doing, tell her you'll be back in a moment. The first time you leave, just walk halfway across the room and back. Gradually, she'll get used to you being gone for longer periods.
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