terrible twos at age 1?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Terrible twos at age 1?

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superjew

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 9:38 am

My ds turned 14 mos ka"h and seems he developed a temper this week. I read up that at this age they learn about themselves and become independent. Saying no & thinking about 'I' all the time. Now I'm glad he's developing correctly b"H. Once I understood this is normal I braced myself however he acts so spoiled & has no patience. If he's hungry and I'm making him cereal he'll scream until I put the spoon in his mouth. The entire time I talk to him 'I'm making you cereal so you can eat. I know you're hungry but be patient until the foods ready' etc. I try to not let it get to me. But I'm scared he'll grow up spoiled & self centered. I'm really into teaching good manners and being kind & patient. I know he's young; I guess I'm just scared, I don't want him being this way. Will he grow out of it? Is there something I can do to help? Maybe teach him something? I know disipline is hard at this age...
Its such a hard transition for me and I want to do it right.

Thanks!

superjew

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 12:03 pm

No one? Its sort of a vent too. No one has 1 year olds that act this way?

Fabulous

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 12:07 pm

My son is almost a year and a half and he's the same. He will scream(and make impatient) noises whenever he wants anything like food, toy, attention. We are trying to teach him that if he makes those noises he doesn't get what he wants, but if he stops, he will. The only exception is if he's really hungry. Then I just hurry up as fast as I can to give him food.

An example: Shabbos, he ate quite nicely in his high chair. I took him out to play. A few minutes later he saw my dh eating shalosh seudos (rice thins with fish and dips), he kept making the noise and trying to reach up to grab it. Dh kept saying, no, we don't make that noise. As soon as he stopped, he got a small piece of rice thin to eat. This went on a few minutes before he lost interest and went to play elsewhere. Is it really working, I don't know, but I have to try.

shnitzel

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 12:20 pm

Completely normal for a toddler.
They are self centered and are developmentally supposed to be at that age. I don't think their little brains are developed enough to process "I am hungry mommy is going to bring me food soon so I need to wait until it is ready because it isn't possible to eat until it is cooked" they think "tummy ow tummy ow tummy ow food food food". As they get older and understand more and develop words and concepts you can start teaching patience and manners and politeness. I do get the frustration because it feels like you are being used. You can't really teach them to not be self centered at this point but slowly slowly it develops as you encourage sharing. Remember he can't communicate and is still almost completely helpless and reliant on you so they need the self centeredness in order to survive. I think the tantrums go on and off the entire second year. My daughter is 20 months and since a year would have a few tantrums and stop for a few weeks. It is usually before something developmentally major.

superjew

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 12:28 pm

Thanks for the responses Smile

Yea, I also feel that he may be going through some development changes. He's throwing tantrums a lot for no major reason.
I will try to be patient & maybe that will teach him patience Wink

eventually at the least.
Is there ANY way I can teach that to him now?
I can try the method fabulous tried 'dont get what you're throwing a tantrum about'
I'm pretty good with that & distract him well. So should I just stick to that?

Any other suggestions or support? Smile

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 12:46 pm

The terrible twos actually start in the 2nd year, which would be about now for your toddler Smile

Aribenj

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 1:20 pm

Yep! Going through that right now myself... My 20 month old has always been independent, but now he's an independent toddler with a temper... Not the easiest combination...

This too shall pass... Sigh.

superjew

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 1:54 pm

Aribenj wrote:

I always live by that saying!! Thanks for reminding me that it applies to this area as well Smile

superjew

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 1:54 pm

ra_mom wrote:

The terrible twos actually start in the 2nd year, which would be about now for your toddler Smile

OH! Hahah, you're right Smile

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 2:20 pm

superjew wrote:

ra_mom wrote:

The terrible twos actually start in the 2nd year, which would be about now for your toddler Smile

OH! Hahah, you're right Smile

But it continues into the 3rd year, when they are actually 2 Wink

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