Teaching Tznius | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

Teaching Tznius

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MamaBird

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 12:26 pm

DD just turned 3 and I was wondering what the standards are for teaching tznius. I know short sleeves go for a while, but when do girls typically stop wearing pants? We're regular orthodox folk...

Sweet Valley Gal

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 12:42 pm

I think it depends very much ont he area. By me, most girls stop by 3-4 I think

obagys

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:00 pm

It really depends on where you live and the circles you are in. My daughters wore pants until age 4/5...and we still haven't completely eliminated short sleeves yet, but probably this summer for my 9 turning 10 year old.

shoshina

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:04 pm

My sister and I stopped at different times because my mother linked it to "big girl" behavior, one part of of which is being Tsnius. I had no conception of myself as a creature that required modesty until I was about 5 and started kindergarten, and so into skirts I went...my sister was much more mature and so started wearing skirts at around 3.

faigyl

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:08 pm

I'm definitely not up to the that stage yet but I would say pants would stop at about 4-5 years old and short sleeves at about 6-7.
Alot of kids decide on their own that they dont want to wear pants anymore cuz they see that big kids don't wear.

farm

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:14 pm

MamaBird wrote:

We're regular orthodox folk...

Love that line!
I personally think pants are a lot more tzanua than skirts for active little girls.

faigyl

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:15 pm

mom2be1

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:19 pm

Depends how big the kid is. Sometimes the age is "o.k." but they are larger for thier age.

chocolate moose

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:54 pm

In Lubavitch, you see many mothers phasing out pants and short sleeves when their daughter is 2 1/2 already.

Ruchel

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 1:56 pm

Also in Satmar, no? shtarker ones.

I was going to say, 2 yrs and half to never, depending on who when where Wink

dee's mommy

Tue, Mar 22 2011, 3:05 pm

My daughter is also 3. I asked my Rov. He said that because her body is still small, we don't have to worry about lengths of skirts and sleeves, etc, and she can wear pants. He did say that I should dress her in a dignified way.

By my own choice, I dress her in dresses most of the time, however I am not davka about it. Sometimes I will put pants on her. I suppose in my own mind, I view the next few years as transition years.

When buying clothes, I just don't invest in any more pants. I use the ones we have, and I or the grandmothers invest in dresses.

A friend of mind told me that girls will tell you when they are ready.

Everyone has a different answer. I suppose, bottom line, ask your Rov for guidance.

DrMom

Wed, Mar 23 2011, 1:50 am

farm wrote:

MamaBird wrote:

We're regular orthodox folk...

Love that line!
I personally think pants are a lot more tzanua than skirts for active little girls.

I agree. Most girls here wear pants under skirts whenn they are running around and playing. I think that's a reasonable solution for us, but I understand that may not fly in all communities.

Hashemlovesme

Wed, Mar 23 2011, 2:24 am

WHEN DD TURNS 3 SHE STARTS WEARING SKIRTS & LONG SLEEVES, IT'S WHEN HICHOS YICHU APPLY.

Isramom8

Wed, Mar 23 2011, 3:31 am

A group of DL women I know decided to let their dds wear pants till bat mitzva. But then the girls didn't agree to stop wearing them.

Ruchel

Wed, Mar 23 2011, 3:33 am

Many allow til 12, then it's often as Isramom says, especially if out of school some friends still wear them.

MamaBird

Wed, Mar 23 2011, 12:50 pm

Wow! Thank you so much for the replies! DD actually prefers to wear dresses b/c she's a princess, so she barely wears pants anyway, but I wanted to know the norm. I kind of figured 4-5, and sleeves around 1st grade. Thanks, ladies!

YaelB

Fri, Apr 22 2011, 2:18 am

what about lose fitting pants or skorts? like the aladin pants that are popular here? or a dress with leggings? there are many options so it doesn't have to be pshat pants or dress.

but I think that your question is about how to teach it, not what to make her wear, no?

does anyone know of any kids books? what my mother did, not in relation to tzniut, was tell me that I was a big girl and that there were certain parts of my body that should and shouldn't be showing now that I was beginning to develop. she said that there was NOTHING wrong with my body, but that I had to dress in a way that would make people interested in my personality, not my body. she also said, you don't want to gross out ppl by showing them your belly, ect.-no one respectable wants to see that.

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