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| newu |
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Executive Member
Joined: Jan 29 2006
Posts: 416
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 Posted: Fri, Sep 01 2006, 5:23 pm Post subject: best advice you ever got or that you figured out |
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I'm not sure if this is the right section to put this, but I'll try anyway.
Very often, I think back to times in my life or a situation that I've been in and think, If only someone told me not to do that or to do that. I know what's past is past and that can not be changed, but I do wonder what if I knew then what I know now about life, marriage and kids how different things would be. I'm not talking about anything major just situations and decisions that could have been handled or dealt with differently. I've been married 10 years and every now and then I think wow, I just figured something out, this is good to know. I think even in our old age we will discover such things. I do feel that with age comes experience and with that wisdom. I love hearing older people talk sometimes just to see what they have learned from their life experiences.
What are some of the things that you wish you handled differently in your life? What is the best piece of advice that anyone ever gave you or that you were able to figure out for yourself? I'd love to hear some thoughts:)
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| su7kids |
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Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 19 2004
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Location: California
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| Posted: Fri, Sep 01 2006, 6:13 pm Post subject: re: best advice? |
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There are probably many things I should have handled differently, but I can tell you for sure, I was not receptive to advice!! LOL
If I could raise my same kids again, I'd spend more one on one time with them. I think I did the best I could while I could, but I should have done more. I would love to have talked to them, had the patience for their little chatter, and been their confidant when they were smaller so we had an even better relationship now.
I would also, at the same time (thisi s theory, right?) have spent more time with my husband and not being RIGHT all the time.
_________________
Mom to 7+3+8, [33 to 21], two SILs and one DIL & 3 cute gd's and 5 handsome gs's. And a greatl DH. BARUCH HASHEM
Please say Tehillim for Leah bas Sara Malka; Rikva bas Shaina Sara; Shulamis Chava bas Bluma,
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| red sea |
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Platinum Member
Joined: Oct 27 2005
Posts: 6725
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| Posted: Fri, Sep 01 2006, 6:52 pm Post subject: Re: re: best advice? |
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su7kids, I hope ya dont mind but I now have that quote taped onto the border of my computer monitor:) thank you.
| Quote: | "If I could raise my same kids again, I'd spend more one on one time with them.
I think I did the best I could while I could, but I should have done more.
I would love to have talked to them, had the patience for their little chatter,
and been their confidant when they were smaller so we had an even better relationship now."
~ su7kids |
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| su7kids |
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Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 19 2004
Posts: 4270
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri, Sep 01 2006, 7:25 pm Post subject: re: best advice? |
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aw, red sea!!! 
Just hug them, at the same time. You can never love them enough!
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| amother |
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Amother
Joined: Aug 08 2004
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| Posted: Sun, Sep 03 2006, 12:18 am Post subject: re: best advice? |
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sorry ldd, I'm not asnwering your question...
sue7kids, you sound like you have great advice. let me ask you a question.
you wrote | Quote: | | I would love to have talked to them, had the patience for their little chatter | meaning you didn't have the patience thenfor their little chatter (did I understand correctly?)
so my question is how do I have the patience? not always do I have the patience to sit and play with them, or listen to their long stories that don't have a beginning or an ending, not always do I have the patience to sit and color, paint or do crafts...
I really wish I did have the patience, but I don't... can you help me with that?
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| Tefila |
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Platinum Member
Joined: Sep 26 2004
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Location: Galus, what can I tell u..............
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| Posted: Sun, Sep 03 2006, 12:34 am Post subject: re: best advice? |
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| Quote: | so my question is how do I have the patience? not always do I have the patience to sit and play with them, or listen to their long stories that don't have a beginning or an ending, not always do I have the patience to sit and color, paint or do crafts...
I really wish I did have the patience, but I don't... can you help me with that? |
Amother if you force yourself to have patience for their mishegas thne eventually you will. Even if it means faking it to begin with, it will come automatically later.
To me this is sometimes more important then just the feeding, and bathing, and dressing them. This they will remember forever and ever. e.g. friday my 2 yr old twins and my 4 yr old wanted to help me make the dough for the challah so I had them surround me on my small island and each one got to put something in that I handed them, yes it was a HUGE mess  , yes it took DOUBLE the time then if I made it, YES I was emotionally exhausted after having changed their and my clothes, bathed them mopped the mess in the kitchen but you know what, they were so happy and proud of their accomplishment and the fact mummy was blaabing to them whilst we were doing it, incl making the bracha for lehafrosh challah, I ask u to how could I have done it differently????????????????  .
If you make time when they r young to speak to them, then in your old age they will make time to speak to you
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| su7kids |
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Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 19 2004
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Location: California
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| Posted: Sun, Sep 03 2006, 12:54 am Post subject: Re: re: best advice? |
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| amother wrote: | meaning you didn't have the patience thenfor their little chatter (did I understand correctly?)
so my question is how do I have the patience? not always do I have the patience to sit and play with them, or listen to their long stories that don't have a beginning or an ending, not always do I have the patience to sit and color, paint or do crafts...
I really wish I did have the patience, but I don't... can you help me with that? |
Yes, I was always too busy to listen to them. You don't have to give them undivided attention. You can give them an "uh huh" and "mmmm" along the way. As long as you're there, they['ll chat. I know it can be crazy sometimes, but I swear its important.
I wish now that I would have done that then, so that when it came to the teen years and the IMPORTANT stuff they wouldn't have said to me "you never had time for me and you were always on the phone".
I think crafts can be done in the kitchen while you're cooking. I personally hated that stuff, too. But just BE THERE. Listen when they talk and chatter, smile and giggle with them.
Remember, our primary roles, in my opinion, once we have these kids, is to be there for them. No-one else will. Or if they find someone when they're older, it may not be someone we approve of.
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| su7kids |
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Diamond Member
Joined: Sep 19 2004
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Location: California
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| Posted: Sun, Sep 03 2006, 1:09 am Post subject: Re: re: best advice? |
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[quote="Tefila"] | Quote: | , I ask u to how could I have done it differently???????????????? .
][/color] |
I would absoluytely not have done it any different (if I did it now!) When my kids were small, I had no patience, I tried to make challah when they weren't watching!!!
TG I didn't succeed, cos my kids are all capable and willing in the kitchen!!
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