Baby+School Work-HOW DO PPL DO IT!!

amother

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 10:13 am

So Ive decided to go back to school after a couple of years .BH I have a DD who is 11months old.
So the semester just started and I already had 2 dreams/nightmares abt how am I going to manage.
I have been home with her this past year doing work from my house, and have really gotten the suzie home maker thing down. I do not know how ppl manage with school, school work, a baby, and cooking and keeping the house afloat.
I am soo nervous for yomtov, I have no idea when and how I will cook, I do not live near my family, we have no help, my DH is equally if not busier than I am!!
p.s. my baby is a very good girl, but she is still a baby and needs me for most of the day.

shatzileh

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 10:35 am

I had the same thing when I was living in Eretz Yisrael. It really depends on your DD, but my DS needed to be entertained. I was taking two courses online, 6 credits total, with a lot of work. I sent him to a babysitter for about 9 hours a week, and between that and once he went to sleep for the night, I somehow got it done. Good luck to you - it may take getting used to, and finding a routine that works for you, but you can do it, and it's worth it in the long run! (I'm about to start my last semester to complete my Master's degree, and it feels REALLY great Smile

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amother

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 10:38 am

op here- wow good for you! thanks for your inspiring words!
She goes out to a daycare BH ! or else I reallly wouldn't get things done! I guesse I have to really prioritize my time!!
p.s. did I mention that for sukkos im having family for both the first and last day of yomtov?

Bea21

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 10:47 am

I ba"h just had my second, and I'm imy"H graduating nursing school in May.
Here's some tips that I've learned from being in this situation:
First of all, you have to realize that something's got to give. Whether it's not having the perfect house (or getting a cleaning lady), not making time-consuming suppers (or buying takeout), or not playing with your baby as much (or sending her to a friend for an hour a day).
Also, does your school have a computer room/library where you can do work? Pay your babysitter to stay an extra hour so that you can stay to work on homework.
Do you have a laptop/computer with internet? Do your homework at home while dd naps.
One thing that was a big help was buying a play yard. Not a playpen; this thing looks like a freestanding fence that takes up about 15 square feet on my floor; I put my ds inside with some toys, and sit on the couch next to him doing homework.
Hazlacha!!! May you do well in school and find a good job when you're done!

amother

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 10:53 am

Believe me you can do it. What helped me is the following (I'm a single mom of 3, working full-time and in school, and no help). I have learned to do things 100% when Im at it. So if I know I only have a limited time to study, I study and make sure that I've completely got it and won't need to go back to it again. It takes a lot of concentration, but you'll get the hang of it. Study for 15mins here and there when you can, but when you do make sure you are absorbing it totally. then when you are with the baby, be in that activity 100%, then you'll feel less guilty if you need to later on have her play by herself a bit so you can get the house stuff done. whatever you're doing do it 100% and do it. good luck, you'll be fine. also take advantage of the little things that help. for example cook some dishes and some buy ready made. challah, unfortunately right now I simply don't have the time to bake myself so I buy, one day B"H things will be easier, and I can do that mitzvah. get some cleaning help if you can, etc.
all the best

jade

Fri, Sep 02 2011, 11:13 am

When I started law school, my oldest was 8 months old, and I just found out I was expecting my second. I took the baby to a sitter on the way to school and picked her up on my way back. I had some gaps between classes and that's when I did most of my school work; doing anything at home was very difficult. We lived in a small apartment then, which cut down on the amount of cleaning; I had some help from my husband with mopping the floors, etc. (but due to his work hours, I ended up having to do Pesach cleaning by myself). Meals were very simple, and I did buy pre-made things (like those frozen chicken pies) that I never, ever used before or since.

Bottom line: as other posters have said, it is doable, but you have to plan everything and be willing to compromise on the suzy-homemaker thing. Another thing - though my husband was not able to help out with a lot of the physical housework, it made a huge difference that he was emotionally supportive. Meaning, he agreed that my school work was a priority, and never once made an issue about the food, or the house not being 100% (and I know that he is actually a huge neat freak). I don't know if I could've made it if I'd felt he was resentful or anything.