I'm having serious anxiety about taking DD's pacifier away!!

amother

Mon, Nov 07 2011, 8:09 pm

This is going to sound crazy, but my 2.5 year old still has a paci and it's just her favorite thing in the whole world. I think she'd sell us, her parents, for a good paci. Sometimes when I give it to her at bedtime, she sighs and looks longingly at the paci and says "Mommy...I...I just love my paci so much, mommy. I just love it so so much".

I know we have to take it away from her soon. We feel it's kind of silly for her still to have it at this age and we'd like for her not to have it soon. But I'm having near anxiety attacks at the thought of taking it away from her and the misery and chaos that will ensue...

Has anyone else broken the paci addiction from one of their totally addicted kids? How'd you do it? I'm shaking at the mere thought of what my life will be like for a week or two or more without the paci....

Help!!

imasinger

Mon, Nov 07 2011, 8:25 pm

The good news is that she is old enough to understand some of what is going on. That means that although she may mourn for longer and rage for longer, there is also some reasonable chance that she will accept the reasoning.

Some strategies that are tried and true...

-- Put two things together. For us, this meant that we bought a "big kid bed", and played it up as a big deal, but insisted that only big kids got to sleep in it. Without pacifier. And we left the crib up, too, so that there was a choice. For my 2 who held on to the pacifier longer, they chose fairly quickly to be big kids. We also gave them a special new big kid sleep friend that they got to pick out at the store.

-- Cut the pacifiers. They won't feel the same, and eventually will be unwanted.

-- Find some books about giving up paci (or bottle, or whatever) and read them together. Talk up how some things are for babies, and some are for big kids, and you're so proud of your big girl. Invite her to "donate" her pacis to some (anonymous) baby that still needs them.

-- Limit their use, and gradually wean each using time, as you might wean a baby or toddler from nursing, a little at a time.

-- Provide some other comforts in abundance. Maybe (more rarely for health reasons) a lollipop for sucking, and hugs and anything else that provides comfort.

I'm sure there are more ideas out there, but this is to get you started.

Good luck, and good for you! Sometimes, the hardest thing we have to do as parents is put our foot down.

amother

Mon, Nov 07 2011, 8:28 pm

Cookie Monster wrote:

Waiting for responses on this one! My daughter is three and she's obsessed with her paci! We need to get rid of it but I dread the results!

Maybe try one of the "you are such a big girl now and I was thinking...maybe you want to send it in the mail to a baby who needs it...I think the baby's mother might send you a big girls present back..." and just have something boxed and ready for later on that night...and give her the delivery with the big girl's present (something that she would love to have...)

baba

Tue, Nov 08 2011, 7:26 am

We also did the big bed thing, but she didnt go for it.

We kept talking about it and reminding her. Then one day we made a bye bye party for the pacifier. We brought out the camera and made a whole ceremony out of it where she threw them all in the trash. That night she of course wanted one, but we reminded her she threw them all away. We had to still remind her a couple of times, but she always accepted the answer.

amother

Tue, Nov 08 2011, 8:38 am

My mother took me on a paci hunt through our house(I was 4/5). we found all the paci's and then went to a local store where I "bought" the toy of my choice for my pacis. It was obviously prearranged, and my mom passed the lady money under the counter. It worked well. when I asked my mother for a paci she said, "don't you remember you used them to buy X?, here lets find X and you can have that instead!"

5*Mom

Tue, Nov 08 2011, 9:02 am

I'd tread carefully here. You need to make sure your dd is ready for this physically and emotionally or you risk causing more harm than good. Have you considered that she may have oral sensory issues that might make the oral stimulation actually necessary? A big girl bed or treat or prize will not solve that problem. Also, if you connect being big to needing to get rid of the paci and she does get rid of okay but still has "cravings" for it, she may actually feel ashamed of herself, since she is supposed to be "big."

My dd was over 3 when she decided herself that it was time to ditch the paci. Until that time, it was limited to only in bed. We only learned about sensory issues a few years later, but turns out she had a really strong need for oral stimulation which we learned to help her manage with acceptable substitutes like gum and crunchy foods. Boy was I glad I hadn't made an issue of the paci or we might still be dealing with the fallout 10 yrs later.