Spinoff of "I hate my kids"

punchike

Mon, Dec 26 2011, 9:27 pm

So, who has practical suggestions on how to show preschoolers that mom is boss.

In my house, everything is a struggle. Bribing them is pretty much the only thing that works. Please share ideas.

kitov

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 12:25 am

emesornt wrote:

I yell a lot. Not that it works, but that's what I do. Don't lie to yourselves, all you imamothers shaking their heads in disapproval. You all do it too.

Surprise! Not everyone is a yeller!

de_goldy

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 12:30 am

I know very few yellers, thank gd.

In my opinion the most critical thing is consistency. Choose one tactic and stick to it. Don't jump around from approach to approach because "it didn't work" in the 2 days you tried it. If you stick with something (something reasonable) for a month or so it's more likely to work.

Other things: be loving, empathetic but firm. Don't use consequences that have no connection and make sure to point out the connection between actions and consequences.

groisamomma

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 2:45 am

emesornt wrote:

I yell a lot. Not that it works, but that's what I do. Don't lie to yourselves, all you imamothers shaking their heads in disapproval. You all do it too.

Guilty as charged, but trying to change. Empathize with them, "Gosh, you're crayons seem to be capturing your attention much more than me, but I have something important to say now."

Ima'la

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 4:13 am

Consistent Consequences.
(Not that I'm always so great at practicing what I preach. Confused

)

Example: It was a big headache to get preschooler to come when it was time to brush his teeth. Finally I warned him that if he didn't come by the time I counted to 3, I would put his toothbrush away and I wouldn't brush his teeth that night. Of course he didn't come, I followed through, and he was very upset. (It had already be drilled into him that someone who doesn't brush his teeth can get holes in his teeth. But I don't think missing one night would really be so terrible.) After that, he would come pretty quickly.

Of course, after a while, it wore off - and I had to do it again - but after the second time, he was slower to forget...

PET PEEVE: When you count to 3, NO FRACTIONS!!! (1, 2, 2 1/2, 2 3/4, aaaallllmoooost 3....) That just teaches them that you don't mean it. If you think 3 won't give them enough time, then choose a higher number to begin with. (Sometimes I count to 5. Or 10. Or to 1,000 by 100s for my math genius!)

gryp

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 8:17 am

How to Talk so Kids Listen and How to Listen do Kids Talk (or whatever it's called) cuts out a huge amount of parents fighting with kids, kids fighting with parents, and kids fighting with kids.

sneakermom

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 8:23 am

gryp wrote:

How to Talk so Kids Listen and How to Listen do Kids Talk (or whatever it's called) cuts out a huge amount of parents fighting with kids, kids fighting with parents, and kids fighting with kids.

Yes. That is the single most helpful parenting book out there. And I like to balance it out with 123 magic.

Ruchel

Tue, Dec 27 2011, 8:54 am

I know parents who don't yell. They punish (quite strongly) before they get angry. Some of their punishments are worse than yelling and much scarier, just saying.