ever hear of lighting a candle for the whole year of aveilus

yo'ma

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 12:48 pm

My mil's mother was niftar a few weeks ago. My mil asked my dh to buy her 7 day candles because she lights for a whole year. He only bought 9 for now, but she is going to need 52. I never heard of this minhag before, did you?

ntm1

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:05 pm

yes I did hear of this. My grandfather was niftar in the summer and my father and his siblings light a 7 day candle once a week.

bigprincess

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:05 pm

Yes, my mother lit the really tall candles for the full year of availus for her father.

peppermint

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:07 pm

Yes, I know someone who did this. But she didn't light a new candle every day. They bought candles that stayed lit for 7 days and lit a new candle every Friday, when she lit the shabbos candles

Fabulous

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:38 pm

My mother did as well for both of her parents. Don't know the source though.

Shalshelet

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:42 pm

from what I hear, it's also a yekkish minhag.

Raisin

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:49 pm

we did it in our house when mil passed away. Thats what the 7 day candles are for.

Funny story: in our town one of the big supermarkets has a kosher section. they sell shabbos and yarzeit candles as well as food. Recently it (during December) it was noticed that many non jews were buying the yahrzeit candles. when asked why they said it was to light on xmas to remember family who had passed away.

well, they do say memorial lights on them.

aidelmaidel

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:49 pm

I did it for my father also. There is also an inyan to light one candle from the previous one - ie the light is never exstinguished.

And the 7 day candles last usually longer, I would buy 6 or so at a time, you won't need 52.

Potato Kugel

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 1:49 pm

if I remember correctly, my mother (yekke) lit a special lamp - not a candle after her mother was nifteres. could it be 11 months or am I confusing that with kaddish?

yentadevosha

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 2:19 pm

We used the 9 day candles for the year after my fil was nifter. We are chassidish.

MGmom

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 2:21 pm

Definitely my mom did it for her mom. She lit the 7 day candle every friday and 7 days ones last a bit longer so she always had a candle lit. She also had a tzedakah box next to it with my bubby's name and we used to throw coins in there all the time li'lei nishmusah. The candle isnt there anymore but the coin box is... and to this day, 7 years later, all my moms kids and grandkids always throw their change in and say her name.

skymile

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 2:22 pm

when my father died we had a lecht going continuously. meaning, lighting the new candle with the old flame. we did it for a year.
we are chassidish

sky

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 2:40 pm

DH was going to keep a candle lit for a man who died with no family to take care of it. He was told that you can he could use an electric lightbulb for it. So we kept a night light on in our kitchen for a year.
(yekkish rav)

LibraMommy

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 4:06 pm

Yes. Sadly, I am in aveilus for my mother A"H and I and my siblings are doing it.

abmom

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 4:33 pm

My father lights one every week for his father now. His sister doesn't. She claims it's enough if someone lights in the nifter's house. But my grandmother doesn't light either. She claims only the children have to light...

ChossidMom

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 4:39 pm

I had a candle going the entire year after my father was niftar. I learned this minhag from my husband.

anon for this

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 4:40 pm

abmom wrote:

Is your grandmother still in aveilus?

BMe

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 4:57 pm

Someone I know lit one the whole year for her husband. She lit the new one from the old one. She was told it was a Chabad minhag.

Roses4me

Wed, Feb 01 2012, 4:43 am

I've also done this. Don't know the source of the minhag. But towards the end when I couldn't get 7 day candles so easily I started to use the electric one which you plug in.