Please help with baby naming question...

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 5:53 am

I am pregnant with my third child, and not finding out the gender. If it's a girl, I would really love to name it after my grandmother, whose name was Michal. It also happens that my mother's Hebrew name is Michal. The thing is, she is only ever called by her English name, which is Mimi. So my question is, is it ok to call my daughter Michal, if this is not the name my mother is known by and called everyday? (Most people dont even realise that this is actually her Hebrew name, and have always known her as Mimi) TIA

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 5:59 am

I would think that, unless you are sephardi, it would be a problem. I give you a bracha that you not be abe to name Michal for a long, long, time!

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:04 am

thank you for replying so quickly...do you know why it would be a problem if that is not mymother's everyday name? I could probably understand if she was known as Michal...
Also, my husband named our first and I named our second...does he get to choose this time?

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:07 am

There is no Halacha about naming practices, it's all tradition. So with all due respect, kb, it is NOT a problem.

When my husband said he wanted to name our son for his grandfather who was alive and well at the time, I told him to talk to his Rabbi and if the Rav gave the okay, he would also need to either speak to his grandfather or to his father.

The Rav said that naming practices are Minhag and as long as hubby's father or grandfather are okay with it, it's not a problem.

And that's what we did and our son was named for hubby's very much alive at the time grandfather.

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:12 am

Thankyou so much for that yeshasettler...I will be asking a rav anyway but wanted to see if anyone here knew much about it. I had no idea it was only minhag...

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:22 am

Yesha, I know it's a minhag. But minhagim are not something you can just 'do away' with. Especially just because you like a name. Obviously, op should ask a rav. But do you realize that when op's mother passes away, they won't be able to name after her (her real name) because they already named that name.

And who names which baby is not a Rule. It's just a rule that makes things easier sometimes. Whatever works for both of you.

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:30 am

kb wrote:

She isn't picking the name 'just because'. But it is a valid point about already having a child named the same name as your mother. May she live and be healthy until 120, but that is a consideration. That however has nothing to do with the minhaggim.

And no one said anything about who 'gets to' name the baby. It's something both parents should come to an agreement on. There's a certain hierarchy about names, meaning if one has someone to name for and the other doesn't then the one who 'has' a name should get first consideration.

I didn't come to naming my oldest son lightly. We did it with the guidance of a Rav and I completely understand why my husband asked for it (long story, no time to get into right now but I will share if you really want to know). I had hoped to name for my grandfather, but 'let' my husband 'have' the name he wanted because my husband is only 1 of 2 grandchildren his paternal grandfather had and.. well, whatever, I don't have the time right now...

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:39 am

OP here...Yes, may my mother live a long and healthy life, god bless her! But if I were to name after her I would name the baby Mimi, as that is how I know my mother, and how others have always known her...so I feel that Michal is more for my grandmother, as it was her everyday name that she was known by.

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:46 am

Look, as long as you're going to talk to your Rav, who may tell you you shouldn't... or he may tell you like we were told, to talk to your mom, the rest is between you and your husband.

I would come up with a back-up plan though.

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:48 am

Yesha, I'm sure you did the right thing in your case - I just think this case is different. OP had asked about who is supposed to pick this name, so I answered - though I think your comment is better about that.

OP, I think you should ask a rav about the name, I don't think it's so simple. I just read your latest comment though, so that would change things a bit, I think. (Though would you really give Mimi as a official name? Isn't Mimi considered a nickname?)

Good luck!

(As an aside, I know someone who has an only child, and didn't want her son to marry a girl with her mothers name, because then she wouldn't be able to have any descendants with her mother's name!)

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2012, 6:57 am

Yes, I know Mimi is usually considered a nickname, but it's my mother's actual name, and I know a few others in our community who are called Mimi. Also, this is my last baby (for health reasons), and I adored my grandmother, so would like to give the name Michal. I still agree I should ask a rav but just wanted peoples' thoughts in the meantime :-) Thankyou all for your help...

Shuly

Thu, Feb 02 2012, 5:18 pm

Besides for asking a rav, I would ask your mother before naming her name.

observer

Thu, Feb 02 2012, 6:29 pm

amother wrote:

Also, my husband named our first and I named our second...does he get to choose this time?

Naming should be a mutual decision from both parents. You may decide to alternate sides, or to name in order of generation, etc, but it should still be a mutual decision and not just one parent naming the baby.

As to your question, many people would not feel comfortable with it, even if it's not the name she goes by. If you do, obviously ask a rov and if he says it's ok, you should definitely ask your mother if she would be ok with it since she may associate with that name more than you associate her with it.

Otherwise, would you name a similar name such as Michla?

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