What to do- babysitter

amother

Mon, Feb 13 2012, 10:53 am

I'm a PhD student, so I teach 2 days a week (not full days) and the rest of the time I'm home working on my dissertation. I obviously need a babysitter for when I'm out, but I also need her when I'm home, because although I'm around to say, nurse the baby, I really need to devote my attention to my dissertation. The babysitter is great with the baby and he gets on very well with her and she takes excellent care of him and is very reliable on the days I'm at school. However, I think she thinks she doesn't need to do the job as well when I'm around- she's not getting that even though I'm home, she needs to treat that as though I'm not (again, unless the baby needs to nurse). She lets the baby crawl into my home office, she interrupts me with questions/other things that she must manage with on her own when I'm not there, and worst of all, she thinks she can come late on those days. She is never late when I actually have to go, but it seems that if she knows I'm going to be home, then what's an hour here or there? Same with leaving early- she would never ask to leave early on one of my schools days unless there was a real emergency, but she often asks on my home days. It's driving me bonkers- I'm not sitting around playing computer games all day- I'm doing real work, and I'm already pressed for time because, fact is, I'm a mommy and I can't devote every waking hour to my work the way my single/childless colleagues already do! I don't want to give her up, because as I said, she's great with the baby and he's happy with her- but I need her to take her job more seriously- come on time, stay the whole time, and pretend I'm not home! Am I wrong that this doesn't warrant termination? How do I talk with her about it?

JAWSCIENCE

Mon, Feb 13 2012, 11:06 am

I think you should try talking to her first. It would be best if you were not at home but I understand you want to be there to nurse the baby (I would do the same in your shoes). A good sitter that you trust is not worth losing. Instead I would go over with her how your workload at home is just as heavy as your workload at school and you really need the time alone. If you pay by the hour do not pay for the hours she comes late. If she routinely comes late you can even tr renegotiating a weekly rate based on this. Consider closing/locking the door to the home office.

amother

Mon, Feb 13 2012, 11:20 am

JAWSCIENCE wrote:

It's true, I would be at the campus library if not for the fact that the baby is nursing. He's almost 1, and while I will definitely be nursing past 1, we probably won't go past 1.5, so I expect to return to working in the library somewhat soon- although I cannot afford to have this situation for the next 6-7 months! I guess I will talk to her. I do close the door, but it doesn't have a lock. I'm so frustrated- the reason I'm posting right now is because she was supposed to come an hour ago and hasn't yet, so I really can't get started on today's work.

Peanut2

Mon, Feb 13 2012, 11:51 am

I'm having a very similar problem with the lateness, not with the other issues.

Just say what's going on. Whenever the babysitter asks you something (or is about to) just say "I'm working. Unless it's urgent and important, can you wait until 3 [or whatever time she's supposed to leave] to ask me?"
And have a talk with her explaining that this is your work time, even more than class time, and that you need that full time. Ask her if she can commit to the full time you need her, say from 10-3 or whatever, because you need all that time and that exact time.

Good luck! PM me if you want to kvetch together! My big kvetch right now is how women in the community think I'm a stay at home mom with lots of time on my hands and keep asking me to get involved with things I just don't have time for...