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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 12:09 am
My ds (18) is home from yeshiva (we live OOT) and my dd (16) wants to have her friend sleep over this shabbos. I don't really like to have that happening...I usually tell dd not to bring over friends when ds is home. In this case, the girl can't come over a different week and dd is begging. Do I let? Ds says he doesn't care...
anon-b/c been asking e/1 about this
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sequoia
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 12:16 am
One night, seriously?
I think it'll be okay.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 12:37 am
OP here-forgot to say it would be Thursday through sunday
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sequoia
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 1:05 am
Oh, hm.
How big is your house/apartment?
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chocolate chips
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 7:07 am
If they are at different parts of the house (upstairs and downstairs etc) then it could be ok but if you only have one floor apartment I wouldn't do it.
Im sure one week in the near future this girl will be able to come over.
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slushiemom
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 9:43 am
A lot of my friends growing up had older brothers. It was never even a consideration to plan sleepovers around when they would be home.
They ignored us for the most part.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 9:51 am
slushiemom wrote: | A lot of my friends growing up had older brothers. It was never even a consideration to plan sleepovers around when they would be home.
They ignored us for the most part. | This, exactly. I had friends with younger brothers, older brothers, one brother, four brothers. It never came up as a reason not to go to friends houses.
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sequoia
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 8:26 pm
But clearly the OP is coming from a place where it would be a consideration.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 28 2012, 9:13 pm
we have 2 floors-all bedrooms upstairs. its decent size but they're next door to each other unless I switch my other kids for the night...hmmm that's an idea....
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chayasora
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Thu, Mar 29 2012, 4:35 pm
if they are not adjacent bedrooms and the parents bedroom is in the vicinity, I would do it. if we never had sleepovers with brothers home, I would never of had one!
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ima m
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Thu, Mar 29 2012, 4:48 pm
my sil is my age and we were friends before I married into the family, (dh is 5 years older) I slept over at her house many times and never once spoke to my dh because I was his little sisters friend, we never even spoke until someone suggested we go on a shiddich date (and then I never slept over from dating till marriage)
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chani8
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Thu, Mar 29 2012, 5:26 pm
Um, what really is the question here? You've got frum kids and are wondering if you can have a guest over. Don't you trust them? Even non-jewish teens wouldn't just decide to cross boundaries with thier sibling's friend, at a family event/overnighter.
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amother
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Thu, Mar 29 2012, 6:40 pm
Look, it really depends on what's done in your circles. We had to go away for Shabbos once, and teenage dd went to a friend's house. Her mother told me that we're lucky her ds (who's 2 years younger than my dd) is away this Shabbos which he rarely is, and otherwise she wouldn't have been able to stay. Imamother has a wide variety of outlooks and haskafas BH - that's the whole beauty of it! You have to do what is accepted in your community so that you'll feel comfortable.
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