Taking off shoes in gan

amother

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 4:50 pm

My dd is 20 months old and she always takes off her shoes bc thats how she is comfortable. Today the teacher didnt give her a treat bc she took of her shoes and all the other kids did get treats. I understand the teacher wants to have a certain order but I think today she was harsh on her. I cant complain she came home in a good mood and told me tonight she wants go again tmrw! Btw she takes off her shoes right when I co e home with her!

What do u dear ladies think?

ROFL

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 4:59 pm

I am thinking the morah doesn't want her little toesis hurt. Can you get you child crocs that are more comfortable for her to wear ?

faigie

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 5:01 pm

As a preschool morah.......
Could you imagine if 15 little neshomoluch decided to kick off their shoes whenever they wanted to?
There are rules for home, and rules for gan. Unless there is a problem with her shoes, said little mamele needs to keep on her shoes in gan.
My guess is she might have been warned a few tmes to keep her shoes on and didnt comply. I dont particularly think that the "punishement" fit the "crime". Im not into punishment for the sake of compliance. Im not there to punish kids, I'm there to teach them.
So...........
If a kid doesnt comply, and takes off their shoes, I simply take away the shoes. Eventually they will want them back. Then we have a talk. Then I usually dont have any more issues.

rachel91

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 5:05 pm

I think that the teacher made a mistake and...that your daughter needs new shoes:) sorry. my daughter used to take off her shoes until I realized that they were actually too small already and that she needed new ones, she doesn't take them off anymore.( shes also 20 months old). Today was her first day in playgroup and when I came to fetch her I saw a few moms putting their kids shoes on again. Smile

but I really don't get the teacher..the small child is punished for taking her shoes off?

sequoia

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 5:12 pm

If I were a teacher I would make everyone take off their shoes.

Eemaof3

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 5:48 pm

In the classroom we need all children to keep shoes on in case we need to leave due to an emergency. It is hard enough getting children dressed to go out to play; we cannot have shoes randomly off when we need to leave the classroom.

rachel91

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 6:19 pm

sequoia wrote:

If I were a teacher I would make everyone take off their shoes.

So OP's daughter could come to your playgroup, if you were a teacher... Smile

MaBelleVie

Mon, Sep 03 2012, 6:43 pm

sequoia wrote:

If I were a teacher I would make everyone take off their shoes.

I love that! I can totally see my ds taking off his shoes in playgroup. When we eat out on shabbat he has been known to take off his shoes and lounge on the couch Smile

amother

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 6:26 am

Op here: I just bought her new shoes which are not too small so I dont know why she does it! I understanf the teacher but thought the punishment wasnt in place. Actually she took them off again today. You think I should check I out by the dr?

Strawberry2

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 6:33 am

amother wrote:

I don't see how a dr. can help?
Did she take off her old pair too? Are her new shoes comfortable?
In your house are shoes are taken off as soon as you walk through the door?
If the teacher is very strict - guess your dd will learn the hard way. Can you tell the teacher to go a bit easier?

oodlesofnoodles

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 7:34 am

First of all, I believe that a 20 month old should not be disciplined, especially for doing something she's used to doing.
Why don't you put shoes on her that she can't take off?

spring13

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 9:43 am

What kind of shoes are they? Is it possible that they're relatively clunky, and that something lighter weight will be less noticeable?

It's sort of odd to punish her like that for this kind of behavior - she's just trying to be comfy, not hurting anyone or doing something that's actually disruptive or unsafe. There has to be another way to teach her to keep them on when she's at gan.

5*Mom

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 10:23 am

Oy vey.

20 months old is a BABY.

Some people--children and adults--are simply uncomfortable with their feet confined to shoes. Adults can usually manage when socially necessary. Babies should be accommodated.

Some people--children and adults--have physiological sensory issues that make wearing shoes uncomfortable and distracting. Adults can sometimes manage but babies shouldn't have to.

Someone running a gan for babies should understand baby development and should be prepared to accommodate babies' needs.

A baby should not be punished for taking off her shoes.

gp2.0

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 10:53 am

DD rarely wears shoes at home. She loves running around barefoot. In playgroup she usually does keep her shoes on because she sees that's what all the other kids are doing. However one day she did take her shoes off, and the morah told me about it later and just laughed about it. Like, no big deal, today she decided to be comfortable! Which is the right way to react, imo. Btw to the morah who takes away the shoes - I don't think that would faze my DD at all. She would probably forget all about them.

Anyway, I got her a new pair of shoes. And she didn't take those off. So I guess something was bothering her about the other pair (I think they were a little too wide.)

Simple1

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 10:57 am

I'm not a teacher, but yes, 20 months seems like a baby to me.

amother

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 2:16 pm

hi, I am a playgroup morah.
your 20 month old is so little, she is still a cute baby!! tehre are a few reasons why playgroups work hard at keeping everyones shoes on - main reasons are: legal - according to the law of tha state that I live in, I learned that kids have to keeptheir shoes on at all times even when resting/sleeping in case of an emergency evacuation of hte daycare/playgroup facility. next reason - there is so much to juggle in a playgroup without hving to put on 12 pairs of shoes befoe going to play outside, there is only so much yuou can do. soo, personally I encourage keeping shoes on. I would however not reward all other kids but one for doing something like taking her shoes off. in fact I would never reward most kids but not all for anything , the kids are toolittle and sensitive and would feel sad and excluded. m

maybe speak to the morah for more info. I would not be thrilled if this was my child

Shopmiami49

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 2:40 pm

20 months is very young, but not too young to learn that if the rule in gan is to keep on the shoes, then they need to stay on. But 20 months IS too young to punish them until they get it, IMO.

I had an issue with a little girl in my gan last year who had just turned 2 and she was CONSTANTLY taking off her shoes. Except that it wasn't just her shoes - she would literally strip down to nothing and encourage the other kids to start taking off their clothes and shoes as well because it was "fun". He mother mentioned to me that she does not like it when her daughter does this at home and often reprimands her for it.

In my gan, I simply told her over and over and over again "In gan, we need to wear our clothes and shoes." and I would help get dressed again. I'm not going to lie - it was extremely frustrating to deal with when all the other kids started copying her, but until she finally understood the concept of following this rule, there was not much that I could do about it. One of the small sacrifices we make for our precious toddlers! LOL

Towards the end of the year, when she already had stopped taking off her clothes and shoes for months, she started taking off her shoes again - but this time, she knew that what she was doing was wrong and she was testing - always with a sly little grin of course lol! THAT was a completely different story. I still never punished her, but the natural consequence that she did receive twice for it was that she couldn't come outside when it was playtime until she put her shoes back on. She hated missing out on outdoor play and did not particularly enjoy staying inside with my assistant while her friends were having tons of fun outside. But again, this situation was different b/c she UNDERSTOOD that she was not following the rules. If I would have tried this in the beginning of the year, she would have just been miserable.

I think that anyone who works with small children needs to have a lot of patience and endure the small inconveniences (well, ok, the big ones too!) that they cause us by ACTING THEIR AGE. It's ok to be frustrated with the situation - I mean we're all human! But IMO, it's unfair to the child to punish them for something like that, esoecially when they do not yet have the ability to understand the connection.

(BTW, I know that I, as a parent, have caught myself giving my children a consequence that is not completely in line with the misdeed, just because I can't handle it anymore and I need it to stop. But that doesn't make it right and that is often the work of a parent/teacher/babysitter, etc. - to act on what is best for the child and not just for ourselves.)

curlgirl

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 2:58 pm

If it were my child I'd be very upset. I don't think I'd punish even a 4 year old in that way, let alone a less-than-two year old.

I'd suggest discussing with this woman what her policies and beliefs are regarding discipline and expectations from the kids. Make sure you're on the same page, and that she has enough patience and understanding to care for your child.

Eemaof3

Tue, Sep 04 2012, 8:02 pm

Just had to mention that I spoke with my other Toddler room morah this evening about her nursery school class that started today and she mentioned a little one who took off his shoes and put them in another child's cubby. What are the chances? Anyway, she agreed with the legal/safety issue with respect to fire drills or emergency evacuation and also mentioned the slipperiness of the floor and the need to help them keep their balance. She totally agrees that a 20 month old in time out is ridiculous -- they just don't get it yet. We need to keep insisting and putting the shoes back on until it gets through. May take a long time but will eventually.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 05 2012, 3:00 am

My daughter has sensory issues. She's 9 now, and STILL hates wearing socks and shoes. You know how when you come home, the first thing you do is take off your bra and your sheitel? She's just like that.

On the other hand, she'll walk over sharp rocks, and even step on a bee in the grass, and not even blink an eye. When she got stung, I asked her if she needed me to put medicine on it. She said "No, it feels kinda interesting!" shock

She's always touching things, sniffing things, even licking and chewing on things like a toddler does, so it makes sense that she wants to feel as much as she can through her feet, too. I've tried to compromise with her, but I am forever reminding her to put on shoes to go outside, and to keep her socks/tights and shoes on in school and at shul. Drives me CRAZY!