Shabbat lunch invite

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Sun, Sep 23 2012, 10:18 pm

I invited my friend to come for shabbat lunch this week- she said she wasnt sure and would let me know on friday depending on how she is feeling- she is pregnant and wasnt feeling too good when I invited her.
friday came and went and I didnt hear from her, but since she said she was feeling better I figured to make some extra food but not bank on her coming. I did not have her number to get in touch with her- she took my number to be in touch with me.
anyway, shabbat mornign there was a knock at the door- it as her husband saying sorry they cant come. OK fine, I knew there was a chance she wasnt going to come. What bothered me is that she hasnt apologized to me herself- a simple 'so sorry we couldnt make it and I forgot to be in touch on friday' would suffice. Am I expecting too much since we didnt have concrete plans?

Happy18

Sun, Sep 23 2012, 10:20 pm

It depends on exactly what was said. She may consider the fact that her husband came over enough of an apology.

spinkles

Sun, Sep 23 2012, 10:38 pm

Some women--like me--get really debilitating nausea. It's much worse than the typical queasy stomach. It's full on nausea 24/7, lots of vomiting, you're so hungry and weak but you can't eat...it's awful. You're just trying to survive. Under the circumstances, she probably isn't able to make a phone call, and figures since she warned you she might not come, and her husband came over to let you know, that that's enough.

zaq

Sun, Sep 23 2012, 10:50 pm

I think that sending her hubby to tell you rather than just not showing up is more than adequate.

invisiblecircus

Thu, Sep 27 2012, 10:03 am

I agree.

When I was pregnant there were times (weeks, not hours) when I literally could not speak or I would throw up. At one point I was communicating with my husband through skype in the same room because I just couldn't face getting sick again.

Maybe your friend was intending to come, hence no phone call on friday but at the last moment was not well enough so she sent her husband to tell you. It sounds as if you were not unprepared for the fact she might not make it and at least you didn't have to sit around waiting to see if she would show up or not.

If you're in this situation again, remember to take the number of the person youre inviting so you can call them back if they don't get back to you (I always forget to do this myself but when we have guests I make plently of food anyway and if they don't show up, no problem, that's Sunday dinner sorted or it goes in the freezer for an easy meal another time.)

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