Hope For Me? My house is always A WRECK?

Merrymom

Sun, Dec 30 2012, 11:57 pm

I like Flylady because every day she picks one room or area to deal with and that's pretty much it. Knowing that you only have to focus on one area really helps because my mind goes back and forth to everything that I want done. If I do things my way then I get a little bit done of everything but nothing really gets done iykwim. Flylady is fantastic.

EvenI

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 8:25 am

The fact that you never learned how to manage before doesn't mean you can't do it. It means you need to figure out what the problems are for you in your own home or with your own self management and how to work on them.

BTW, there are also people who grew up in functional homes who didn't learn, because someone always did it for them. And/or because someone pushed them too much to "keep your room clean" or whatever before they had any self motivation.

It seems to me that keeping house is a complex combination of all of these things and more:
- the strategic selection and arrangement of furniture in your house
- the assignment of places for things big and small, heavy and light, used frequently and infrequently, used by different people, used for different purposes, etc.
- what you are packing into your daily schedule
- your cleaning up habits (as you go along/in one big clean up session/not at all...)
- what you expect from your children (if you have any)
- what you get out of keeping clean and tidy...
- what you don't realize you would get out of keeping clean and tidy.

When I think about all this, it seems wondrous to me that so many people apparently manage so well.

chani8

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 10:37 am

1. Sit on imamother as often as possible, because it is laid out so nice, neat and tidy.

2. Pay your teens to do all the work (when they are around).

3. Convince your DH that he is naturally domestic, and that you are hopelessly ADD. Appeal to his manly hero complex, helplessly begging him to rescue you from those dishes and dirty clothes.

4. Stuff all the clutter in the cupboards and under the beds.

5. Use only paper plates and realize that cereal and milk has lots of vitamins.

6. Keep floors and counters clear of mess. Let the cat and dog clean up after the kids.

7. Wear the same clothes several times, just not in a row. Shake them out and lay them at the end of your bed until next time.

8. Lay a towel on top of overflowing dirty laundry baskets so you don't have to look at all that laundry.

9. Store clean laundry in laundry baskets, instead of folding or hanging. Shake well before wearing. Clothes that wrinkle too much, need to be hung, one on top of the other on the back of chair.

10. Never sit, except when you're on imamother. If you stand around, you'll surely find something you can do to tidy up.

sky

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 10:51 am

I'm a wreck.
But one thing that I finds helps me is when stuff has a place. It just makes clean up and organizing easier.
So I try to create boxes or a place for everything. You can get boxes with covers, baskets, at the dollar store - and for storage they are just as good as ones that cost 5x more at target.
This way if I find anything around - like an extra cable or tape or anything I have a place to put it where it belongs. The next trick is to find time to sift threw the boxes and throw out what you don't need.

reportrmom

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 10:51 am

chani8 wrote:

I wish I could "like" this five times!

amother

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 10:31 pm

Does anyone know what the morning routine and nightly routine is on the Hakol Bseder hotline? They don't seem to have it on the hotline anymore. I'm trying to start up and though I'm doing the am daily tasks if like to make sure I'm doing the routine properly too
Thanks so much!

Merrymom

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 10:56 pm

I think the biggest problem really is that we all have too much stuff. I've gotten (?) rid of most of my pots and pans.

I never do another load of laundry until the first basket has been emptied and put away.

I keep games up high in the closet and they only come out for Shabbos.

Teenagers have steady nightly jobs that they are always expected to do (not alot but it's something I can count on).

Get a scooba or a roomba or better yet both to wash and vacuum your floors if you find that you don't get your floors done daily.

Make sure you have a dishwasher or use paper plates and send your dh's ironing out (well worth the money).

Allow your kids to learn to peel and chop vegetables at a young age (by8-9). At that age they really want to help and you can supervise to make sure they do it safely. My older kids are terrified of chopping vegetables because I didn't do this. Meanwhile the little ones help me make Shabbos and yt LOL

I disagree about serving fishsticks and the like (unless you're really desperate). Make good food, life is short.

I'm sure I can think of other things but this is a start.

mummiedearest

Mon, Dec 31 2012, 11:03 pm

I have a roomba and barely use it. it doesn't do corners, and if you have a thick carpet, it does a surface job. it does make the room look cleaner, but I've decided it isn't worth using on a regular basis on all the floors. I use it in the bedroom to clean under the beds when I can't get to that area. otherwise, it sits. unless you KNOW you will use it regularly, it's just another thing taking up room.

amother

Sat, Jan 05 2013, 10:09 pm

I could be the OP.

I find even if I spend an hour or more a day cleaning up it does not help. My kids make a mess faster then I can clean up. I did a through clean of the kids room on Wednesday it is now a mess again. I am hopeless ay getting the kids to clean up after themselves and doing basic chores.

I will clean up the kitchen, clear surfaces such as table and the when onto the next surface realise the table has clutter on it again as I just move clutter from one surface to another to clear.

I have recently done a major declutter - it has helped somewhat but still the kids make a mess.

Flylady does not work for me. 15 min a day declutter will not get me too far. A WEEKLY blessing hour is not enough for my house even a daily blessing hour is not enough.

amother

Sat, Jan 05 2013, 10:23 pm

when I have no patience to deal with the clutter and putting away part of cleaning, I admit that I sometimes move stuff, clean under and put it right back, or all on one side. then I look back on the room I just cleaned, I know that it is CLEAN, just not tidy. and knowing I dont have to put anything away makes it easy to tackle the job in the first place.

once as a teen I mentioned to my mother one day we should decide to dedicate a big chunk of time to cleaning the fronts of the cabinets. she looked at me and said, if you say that it will never happen. rather clean just one cabinet whenever you see it needs it. in that way eventually they all get done.
she was right. how much time does it take to clean ONE cabinet door? less than a minute?
but deciding to do a big job of cleaning all the doors, you will always put it off.

amother

Sun, Jan 06 2013, 1:57 am

What worked for me was getting books on tape that I listen to while I clean. I have a Hulu subscription too so I can watch stuff on my laptop while I'm washing dishes.

From another forum, I got the concept of what has to be done daily: "dishes, dinner, duds." Meaning you have to keep on top of your dishes, you have to cook a decent meal, and you have to make sure everyone has clothes to wear. So my daily routine is: Do one load of laundry and put away. Make supper. Before bed, wash all dishes and clean all tables and counters. Make sure kids' briefcases, coats, boots, shoes, snacks, and homework are all laid out ready to go the night before. Lay out kids' clothes the night before.

If you do this life will get a lot better and it will be easier to focus on other cleaning.

saw50st8

Sun, Jan 06 2013, 7:03 am

I think the biggest problem is having too much stuff. Take a good look at the stuff you are always cleaning up - do you really need it?

I absolutely love aslobcomesclean.com because she really gets the problem from an emotional/psychological perspective. She's also not perfect LOL.

So, start getting rid of stuff. Thin out clothing, books, toys, "memories" and other things clogging up your house. Make sure you have places to put things.

And read a slobcomesclean.com - start at the beginning - her journey is awesome :-)

I realized that my husband was bothered when he came home and there was too much stuff in the living room (its the first room you see), so I started having the kids move their toys back to the playroom before bed. It takes about 5 minutes but makes the house look so much better.

Merrymom

Sun, Jan 06 2013, 1:39 pm

amother wrote:

Someone asked about Flylady. Here you go: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/.....82174

That's the book, what you want is the email subscription where they tell you what to do every day. You should be able to find it easily with google.

To the amother whose kids are making the place a mess, your kids have access to too many toys if that's the case. I keep most of their toys up high and in order to get one they have to put something away first. They can't just help themselves to whatever. They also have a chore chart worth points to use at the toy store, it's very motivating to them. The table in your kitchen should be cleaned continuously, and everyone in the house should be taught to put away their dishes, milk and cereal etc. as soon as they're done. Start when they're young before the bad habits are too well ingrained.