amother
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 Fri, Mar 15 2013, 11:14 am
I usually only do it when they are hurting someone or really being destructive. I explain that timeout is so that they stay safe and don't hurt anyone or anything. That it gives them time to calm down. I think I do something like 1-2-3 magic - I give three warnings ("thats 1"...) that they know will end in a timeout if they don't stop.
I usually do it in the same kitchen chair, minutes per age. We set the stove timer. If they go to time out and then come out -they know I will restart the timer. Sometimes I just need to threaten to add another minute and they go right back. I will talk to them while they are in their timeout - but usually not about the misbehavior. If they just don't go at all, I will not give them attention or do anything for them until they go. I am a broken record, by keep saying "I can do that (or talk to you) after you do your time out". This works for most of my kids age 4 and up. The younger ones - I haven't had to do it as much - if so, I would physically take them there and sit with them until it is over. Remember to always keep talking calm, explaining that they are in time out because they needed to be separate from other people because they were hurting them. Also after time out - it is like a fresh start.
There were a few instances that my kids wouldn't go at all - and they kept hurting me or my other kids, so either I would go in timeout - in my room and sometimes take the rest of the kids with me. Now the kid misbehaving sometimes will throw things and make a mess - which they know they will need to clean up. Some times they will be in such a tantrum that they will start being too destructive for me to leave them - like kicking at the door. Sometimes I have to say - I see you are really angry, are you ready to take your time out and talk about it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I don't have the best answer for when it doesn't.
Good Luck
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