A post from the depths of despair

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 9:56 pm

I need not only hugs (though those too!) but lots of good, solid advice since I never felt so lost in my life. Here's my story in a nutshell.

Growing up, I was the skinny kid. 5 3' and never more than 115lbs. I could eat and drink whatever I wanted and it never affected me. I can't say I was an extremely active kid either. I hated sports and loved socializing. I am not exactly very coordinated and dancing was never my thing either. I'm more of the creative thinker type.

I got married and a year or so later the lbs were piling on. Suddenly I found myself diagnosed with PCOS and insulin levels that would go all over the place. I took glucophage but wasn't terribly careful about my diet. My life went through a lot of ups and downs and infertility was part of it. B"H I have a few children since and I now weigh 180 lbs.

Between pregnancies I fluctuated between working on my weight and getting it down somewhat. The lowest I got it to was 148 and I maintained that for about a year but I couldn't get past that plateau.

Now I'm feeling out of shape, physically tired, weak and lousy. I also hate my flabby stomach and hips. I want to feel fit and beautiful again.

I have worked out with a personal trainer and it's helped me a lot and I plan to go back to that. But what I don't have luck with is a good diet plan.

I worked with two nutritionists previously and with one all was good until I lost 25 lbs and she couldn't push me past that. I kept crying to her to modify something because I needed to lose more but she really didn't get it.

The next one I lost 45 lbs with and was pretty good at keeping that down. But again, I couldn't really do more and also I didn't find her to be helpful other than being the weigh in that I feared.

I feel like at this point I need to face a lot of triggers and get myself healthy. Technically, I probably need OA but OA terrifies me. #1: I'm really not emotionally ready to admit that I have an addiction (I'm not sure I do but I guess I do if I'm this size...) #2: I can't see myself totally carb free all the time and #3: I'm a person that's going to find weighing and measuring terrifying and very challenging because of my flighty (almost ADHD like) personality. #4: I attended a meeting years ago and it all was so confusing. I live in Boro Park and I don't know anyone who had good luck with meetings nearby.

If you've had luck with OA and want to encourage me, please do. I'd love some practical stuff (like where there are meetings near me and what I can do about my other fears)

If you have another solution that is cost-effective and sustainable (Atkins and South Beach are not for me if you get my drift) I'd love to hear. I need a real-live person to help me at this point. I need a coach that's motivating and knows her stuff and will know how to help me lose a lot and consistently.

My doctor says I need to get to 130lbs and then he'll be happy. That's 50lbs to lose.... and the worst part is that I gotta do this at a time that we're very strapped for cash......

amother

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 2:22 am

I think of having to sit in a room and announce "my name is ima mother, and I'm a compulsive eater". That thought helps me stop eating - sometimes. Other times, nothing could get me to stop eating!

Seriously, I will share with you my secret in case it helps. I put on a lot of weight after a miscarriage. I was 5'3" and weighed 170 lbs and climbing. My doctor prescribed phentermine, and it really helped me. I lost weight, feel energetic and look great (I think).

I was an emotional, compulsive eater, and the phentermine took that away. Similar to the way ADHD is sometimes treated with meds, compulsive eating can be treated too. It's true that when you take away the meds the symptoms can return, so you really need to have a maintenance plan. While on meds, I taught myself how to eat properly. I'm off now for a while, and I am maintaining my weight and my good eating habits.

BTW, now that I told you my secret, I'll have to kill you. So if you see me, run!

DrMom

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 3:06 am

*Exercise.

You said you had a personal trainer. Get back to using him./her. Or, if you want to save money, google "couch to 5k" to learn how to get in shape by running. It's a lot cheaper than joining a gym/hiring a trainer.

Incorporate activity into your day. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk to the store instead of driving whenever you can, etc. Buy some simple workout videos or check out fitnessblender.com for free workouts.

I find that if I exercise, my body craves healthier food than if I just sit around.

*Food/diet: I don't have any recommendations re: diets. I would say:
Make sure you incorporate lean protein into your meals so you won't be hungry all the time.

Cut out junk foods/white flour/sugar. Or at least only indulge 1-2 times/week at first.

*Get adequate sleep.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 3:45 am

The ONLY thing that worked for me was the HCG diet, using the injections and sticking very strictly to the Simeon Protocol. I lost about 50 pounds in 8 months, and I've kept it off for several years now without keeping a crazy food restriction.

The protocol is very hard the first two weeks, and then it just breezes by. You feel better and better every day after that, and you can lose up to a pound a day which is quite satisfying. Seeing real progress keeps you motivated to stick with it and not cheat or give up.

Like anything, for it to work, you have to be ready to commit. Until you get to that point, nothing is going to help.

chani8

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 4:48 am

You can lose 50 pounds for free, on myfitnesspal.com. You will also learn so much there, and make lots of friends, get lots of support, and meet so many people who are struggling, but also who are motivated to change their lives to be fit people.

MFP (my fitness pal) is all about counting calories, which you do by logging in your food choices on a daily basis. It's fun and smart and free. If you try it, look me up and I'll hook you up with the other Imamothers who are there. We've got around 50 frum women supporting each other.

MFP doesn't encourage drugs, meds, surgeries, or crazy diets. Just logging in your food, it counts the cals for you, and logging in your exercise, which we all will encourage you to do.

sarachana

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 9:10 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

sorry I really don't want to come off as rude..so please don't be offended, but [...] it kinds shocks me that you would recommend a diet that basically starves your brain and body of vital nutrients just to get down to a small size..seems unhealthy in dozens of ways... The HCG is super unhealthy for both your body, organs and your brain health! please do not do that diet!!! cutting out carbs like atkins can have similar dramatic awful results....

op I recommend you go on a whole food, low glycemic diet. meaning, fruit must be eaten with proper amount of fat and protein to offset the insulin spike...btw insulin is a fat storing hormone, so the less you spike it the more you stay thin. Eat a high protein, high vegetable diet and avoid grains. grains are a huge issue with insulin, instead get your carbs from veggies like sweet potatoes, colored veggies...parsnip, squash, beets, etc

[reference to another poster deleted. -merelyme, as mod]

amother

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 10:15 am

I am in a very similar situation as you. I am desperate but the carb cravings are so strong. I went to a nutritionist (although I didn't think she was great) and she put me on a low fat/1200 cal diet. I didn't lose any weight so she lowered my cals to 1100. Still did not lose a pound. I find the only diet that works for me is South Beach. It is really hard in the beginning but it really helps with sugar and carb cravings and I feel better overall when I'm on it. If you would like to buddy up with me I would MORE than happy.

How did you lose weight in the past? What worked for you before may work for you again. Also consider why you put the weight back on.

carpediem

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 11:06 am

sarachana wrote:

FranticFrummie wrote:

sorry I really don't want to come off as rude..so please don't be offended, but as someone who is always posting about your mental health issues, it kinds shocks me that you would recommend a diet that basically starves your brain and body of vital nutrients just to get down to a small size..seems unhealthy in dozens of ways... The HCG is super unhealthy for both your body, organs and your brain health! please do not do that diet!!! cutting out carbs like atkins can have similar dramatic awful results....

op I recommend you go on a whole food, low glycemic diet. meaning, fruit must be eaten with proper amount of fat and protein to offset the insulin spike...btw insulin is a fat storing hormone, so the less you spike it the more you stay thin. Eat a high protein, high vegetable diet and avoid grains. grains are a huge issue with insulin, instead get your carbs from veggies like sweet potatoes, colored veggies...parsnip, squash, beets, etc

I think that came across as rude

FranticFrummie

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 10:24 pm

sarachana wrote:

FranticFrummie wrote:

No one should do anything without consulting their doctor first. The HGC protocol is not for everyone, and I made that extremely clear in my original post.

I did not want to get "a smaller dress size", I wanted to get rid of the constant pain in my joints, the fibromyalgia flares, and the crushing exhaustion that comes from carrying too much weight. None of this has anything to do with vanity, self esteem, or anything like that.

I am chronically ill, and I cannot exercise to burn calories. My metabolism is very wonky in general. I don't digest many types of foods. When I started adding foods back in after doing the protocol, I found several allergies and trigger foods that I was completely unaware of. (Walnuts give me migraines! Who knew?)

I eat carbs and sugar now, but in much more moderate amounts. I have been able to break my addiction, and it has not come back. Detoxing was really miserable, but after I got through it I could think much more clearly, I had tons of energy, and a lot of my depression lifted. More than a bagel or a couple pieces of candy, and I start to feel toxic again.

amother

Thu, Dec 05 2013, 11:42 pm

[quote="FranticFrummie"]

sarachana wrote:

FranticFrummie wrote:

I've also done the HCG protocol at my dr's recommendation and have lost over 100 lbs B"H!
This too is THE ONLY WAY I can lose weight, before this I barely ate , no carbs, exercised intensely and the scale did not budge.... B"H for HCG it's given me my life back!

There are many pp like us, here are some links to vlogs by pp maintaining their weight after HCG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw6UE8bvwFY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TkTkINU8vE