Help write an e-mail to manager ASAP!

vintagebknyc

Wed, Jan 08 2014, 11:28 pm

greenfire wrote:

I most certainly was not sarcastic ... I think standing up for oneself is a matter of dignity & if you don't - the alternative is to be humiliated such as your husband was and it allows for anybody to treat him just the same - without any respect

greenfire, a few things.

if this is the first time I'd tuck the info in my brain and keep it in mind for the future, esp if it's the first time.

as for the letter, it sounded as though it was written by a scorned woman (sorry, not meant to be hurtful to you!) and I don't think it would make the statement her DH wants to make.

vintagebknyc

Thu, Jan 09 2014, 12:04 am

greenfire wrote:

I posted a letter which she asked for ... nobody has to listen - it's a suggestion ...

just walk on by ...

I really didn't mean to insult you, greenfire, I hope you know that. I know I can be sarcastic and b*tchy, but I really wasn't trying to be mean here.

DrMom

Thu, Jan 09 2014, 12:26 am

I would advise AGAINST writing the letter greenfire suggested.

First of all, I'm not at all clear what happened between your DH and his manager. Was the conversation more like:

"You yoyo! You made a mistake in the budget!" (yoyo = old-fashioned word for a person lacking common sense)

or was it

"Yo, yo, come over here and look at this spreadsheet. I think there's an error in column B" (I find it odd that somone would talk like this unless they were recording a rap record, but I digress...)

It's also not clear in what tone your DH's manager spoke to him. Was it a friendly, hey-we-all-make-mistakes kind of tone, or a "You incompetent moron! Can't you do anything right?!?" tone?

In any case, don't write an email. It makes managers nervous when complaints like this are written down. If it's a "first offense" (if it's an offense at all), the he should speak to him about it. If it's a repeated offensive behavior, he should have a conversation abot it wit his manager at a neutral, calm time.

seeker

Thu, Jan 09 2014, 12:40 am

Whether or not the manager SHOULD have called him whatever he did is immaterial. The point is that it would not be wise for the DH to write an email about that.

If he wants validation and isn't too shy to do this, I'd suggest asking the people who were there what they thought of it - Hey, what did he just call me? Was that weird or what? But not everyone is the type to ask like that.

Agree with those who say a written complaint is way overreacting. Even to say something verbally I think is unwise, especially if this was a one-off occurrence. If it happens again, he could consider saying something on the spot: "Yoyo, you made a mistake." "Oh my, I will fix that right away. By the way, if this happens again I'd really appreciate if we could talk about it inside the office." Or something like that. Bringing it up later turns it into an Issue and I really doubt your DH wants to be involved in any Issues. Don't go looking for office politics if they're not looking for you.

tovasara

Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:01 am

Is there another coworker who he could get input from? I do not think you should write the letter, but perhaps a short conversation. He could even use his (less) English knowledge to his benefit in the conversation, such as, "What was that you called me? I never heard that term before, what does it mean?".

But definitely cool off first.