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Caleb Jacoby Found!
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yaelinIN









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:45 pm       Post subject: Caleb Jacoby Found!
News article
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mom25









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:46 pm       Post subject: Re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
yaelinIN wrote:
News article

b"h
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Willow43









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:49 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Just saw this on a news outlet, and bh it is said he is unharmed. Is no one else curious what REALLY happened?? Someone wrote he is the studious introverted type who liked to hang out at the local library. Doesn't sound like the rebellious runaway type .... Just curious
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Happy18









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:50 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
So glad they found him!
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FranticFrummie









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:52 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Willow43 wrote:
Just saw this on a news outlet, and bh it is said he is unharmed. Is no one else curious what REALLY happened?? Someone wrote he is the studious introverted type who liked to hang out at the local library. Doesn't sound like the rebellious runaway type .... Just curious


I'm curious, but I refuse to speculate. If the family wants to release details, they will.

I'm just so thrilled to know that he's OK, and that his parents can rest easy tonight.
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Rubber Ducky









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 10:54 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Willow43 wrote:
Just saw this on a news outlet, and bh it is said he is unharmed. Is no one else curious what REALLY happened?? Someone wrote he is the studious introverted type who liked to hang out at the local library. Doesn't sound like the rebellious runaway type .... Just curious

We don't always have to know.
Just B"H that he's safe.
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Willow43









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 11:00 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
I hope I didn't seem insensitive by wondering. I too am thrilled and relieved he was found and thought of him and his poor parents throughout the past few days. I was so worried about him being out in this weather and everything. Bh he is ok...
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bamamama









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 11:04 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Rubber Ducky wrote:
We don't always have to know.
Just B"H that he's safe.


^THIS

I'm so doing the happy dance over here!!!! This is such great news!!!
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Remaining ignorant is not a laudable value.
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newmother









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 11:05 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
baruch hashem!
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greenfire









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 11:17 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
the best news I heard all day !!!
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NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous
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MaBelleVie









  
Post Posted: Thu, Jan 09 2014, 11:29 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
BH! I hope that the feelings of achdut continue even without worrisome circumstances.
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rae gi









  
Post Posted: Fri, Jan 10 2014, 12:20 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Wonderful wonderful news! Thanks for posting. Hug
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always be what you is, and never what you isn't, cuz if you is what you isn't, you isn't what you is.
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boysrus









  
Post Posted: Fri, Jan 10 2014, 12:23 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Baruch Hashem!
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lifesagift









  
Post Posted: Fri, Jan 10 2014, 1:10 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Bh, I'm sooo relieved, I feel like crying. (honestly wasn't so confident that this would end well. ) im hoping the feeling of achdus and lack of "speculation" can continue in all orthodox circles. Way to go
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myself









  
Post Posted: Fri, Jan 10 2014, 6:03 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
B'H, I'm so immensely relieved!
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Miri1









  
Post Posted: Fri, Jan 10 2014, 12:35 pm       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
so relieved!
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FranticFrummie









  
Post Posted: Mon, Jan 13 2014, 5:40 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
There have been comments on that news article saying that he was Autistic (high functioning), and other comments saying that he wasn't. Does anyone close to the family know the truth?
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coconutbutter









  
Post Posted: Mon, Jan 13 2014, 5:47 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
For all those like me who also has been trying to figure out further details on this bizarre episode, I read this and though it's hard- I've resisted trying to figure out more...please, respect this:

http://matzav.com/need-to-know.....r-business

By Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, approximately 800,000 children younger than 18 are reported missing each year. That means close to 2,200 children a day or 91 children every hour are reported missing in the United States. And yet, I don’t remember a story catching the attention of the Jewish community like the report that this past Monday, 16-year-old Caleb Jacoby from Boston was missing.

By the time Caleb was found on Thursday night, the news had spread to Jewish communities across the globe that had been praying for his safe return. Jewish organizations and Synagogues sent out email alerts asking people to look for him. The report of Caleb’s disappearance united incredibly diverse segments of the Jewish community who rarely come together in such a cohesive way. People from all different ages, backgrounds, denominations and levels of observance shared in the pain of the Jacoby family and expressed it by posting the missing person poster on their Facebook statuses and tweets.

The unusual reaction to the missing Jewish teen was not lost on the Brookline Police Department. The Atlantic described, “Police have told Maimonides parents that they’ve never seen this degree of interest in a missing person. They’ve received calls from strangers in Israel who are ready to fly over and carefully comb the streets of Brookline with the Maimonides classmates who are searching for him, house-to-house, in below-freezing weather.”

The fact that Caleb is the son of Jeff Jacoby, a prominent conservative columnist for the Boston Globe, certainly added to the intrigue of the story, but I would like to believe the same attention and efforts would have be extended to the news of any Jewish child who had gone missing.

The news that Caleb had been found spread just as quickly as the news of his disappearance. Jewish communities everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief that this story has a happy ending. Hearing Caleb is safely back with his family should be more than enough for us to close this story out, but remarkably, most people are not satisfied.

“What happened?” you saw people post moments after the news of his being found was announced. Did he run away from home? Who found him and how did he make his way to New York City? What will his parents say to him when they first see him? Will he be in trouble? Somehow, people feel entitled to know the answers to these questions and that they deserve an explanation of what happened.

But the truth is, it is absolutely none of our business!

Caleb Jacoby’s disappearance was not some episode of a reality TV show. It was a horrific ordeal for a wonderful family who were tortured for four days not knowing where their precious son was and what his fate would be. We cannot imagine the acute pain, anguish, fear, worry or doubt they were forced to endure. Though we all were moved by their pain and offered our prayers, ultimately this is their story and their experience. The answer to the question of what happened belongs to them, and them alone. It is absolutely none of our business and we are not entitled to find out, no matter how desperately curious we may be.

If there is something we can learn from what happened to better protect our children, we can be confident the family will let us know. If they choose to go public with what happened, that is certainly their prerogative. In the meantime - he was missing and now he is safe is all that we need to know, if our concern was really about him.

In fact, being satisfied with knowing he is ok versus expressing a desire to find out exactly what happened reveals whether this issue was really about Caleb or more about us, and our voyeuristic spectatorship all along. If we genuinely care about someone who was missing, all we need to know is they are now safe and healthy. The craving for salacious details and the appetite to know the entire story emanates from a terribly unhealthy sense of nosiness, inquisitiveness and our insatiable need to be in the know.

This phenomenon expresses itself in many scenarios. When some hear about a couple getting divorced, their first response is “what happened?” as if they are entitled to a report about the most personal and private details of a couple and often children going through a difficult time. Many pay a shiva call and feel a need to ask, “How did he or she die?” Certainly the mourner is free to volunteer the cause of death if they like, but is it really our business and do we truly need to know? When we ask, “Why did he lose his job?” or “why did they break their engagement?” or “why is she still single?” are we asking because we care about them, or is finding out somehow satisfying something in ourselves?

For some, the “need to know” stems from a sense of “information is power.” Information is social currency and the more we know, the richer and more powerful we are. For others, the “need to know” stems from an inability to live with tension or mystery. And yet, for others, the “need to know” is similar to whatever draws us to slow down and look at the accident on the highway even though it has nothing to do with us at all and only creates traffic for others.

The Torah places great value on people’s right to privacy. Jewish law demands that we conduct ourselves with the presumption that all that we are told even in pedestrian conversation is to be held in confidence unless it is explicitly articulated that we are free to repeat what we heard. The laws of hezek re’iyah forbid a person from looking into his or her neighbor’s property in a way that violates their privacy. We are instructed not to speak lashon ha’rah or rechilus and spread gossip, even if the information is absolutely true and entirely accurate. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 23b) goes so far as to tell us that we are permitted to distort the truth in circumstances that someone is prying for information that is none of their business and that they are not entitled to have.

Soon after Caleb was found, a member of our Shul emailed me the following: “Baruch Hashem. This is one time when we don’t need details. We need to follow up with thanks to the Almighty. The experience has ended positively for Caleb and his family and has created an increased sense of oneness and faith among Jews.”

I couldn’t agree with her more. The greatest respect we can show the Jacobys now is to give them the privacy they deserve as they are undoubtedly continuing to go through a difficult time. Let’s make this unfortunate episode productive and meaningful by channeling our “need to know” into a need to thank Hashem that Caleb is alright.

Anything more than that is simply none of our business.

RabbisBlog
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FranticFrummie









  
Post Posted: Mon, Jan 13 2014, 6:30 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
I agree with Rabbi Efrem Goldberg. Nobody owes anybody an explanation. No one is entitled to anything.

Still, not all desire to want to know "what happened" is due to bad intentions. Sadly, many people out there will treat this as a reality TV show, or a chance to scoop the neighbor on some juicy loshon hara. Humans are kinda jerks that way.

Why are we so obsessed with "what happened?" Survival. Deep down in our instincts, it comes from a skill called risk assessment. If someone eats a poisonous plant and dies, we need to know which plant, and where it is growing, so that we can make sure our children don't go eat those berries.

When there is an auto accident on the side of the road, everyone slows down to look. Some people may be hoping for a glimpse of gory mess, but 99% of the people who stare are actually taking in millions of tiny pieces of data for future reference. How sharp was that turn? How fast were they going? At what angle was the other car hit? How far did it skid? If the car was severely damaged, you might want to know what make and model it was so that you won't buy such a flimsy car in the future. All this info could one day save your life, and we all file it away in our subconscious until such time as it might become relevant.

When children had a virus and they were given aspirin for fever, we found out about Reyes Syndrome. By asking "what happened", we filed that information away. The next time our children got sick, we reached for the Tylenol instead.

Caleb's family has as much right to their privacy as anyone, and I totally respect that. I just wanted to offer the other side of the coin, so that we can at least stop feeling guilty for wanting to know more details. We were given the instincts to be inquisitive for a reason. We just need to refine those instincts, and make sure that we're asking questions for the yetzer tov, and not the yetzer hara.
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MaBelleVie









  
Post Posted: Mon, Jan 13 2014, 10:01 am       Post subject: re: Caleb Jacoby Found!
Even if the desire to know details isn't coming from a strictly yentish place, doesnt make asking ok. How likely do you think it is that something happened which would be new information for you?
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