Anyone else's dh give them a hard time?

miami85

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:41 pm

Another option is perhaps consignment stores--they often have VERY gently worn (often NEW) clothing that is a fraction of the price--and it's often designer names because they can be picky. That way it's cheaper but not "hand-me-downs". I buy most of my kids' clothes there and then buy a few new items for Shabbos or special occaisions (like when I want my kids to match)

morah

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:56 pm

My husband the engineer also can't wrap his head around the simple addition of what things cost Rolling Eyes

He gets that way with food also. And I cook mostly from scratch, so our food bill is a lot lower than most people I know. I guess if you're not the one doing the shopping, you really don't know the prices. Last time he complained about the food bill, I offered to go vegetarian and stop inviting his sisters over for Shabbos. He did not take me up on that and has kept quiet about it lately. But with the new season approaching, I know it will come up again with the clothes...

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:27 pm

Op here,
Just seeing that I'm not the only one is making me feel better. My dh also
Complains about the food bill, so I send him to the grocery and he spends a lot more than me LOL

As for hand-me-downs he will see it on the kid and realize right away that it's used.
Making a separate acct? Not going to work he needs to be on top of things.
Besides, I'm not a spender but I draw the line at buying used clothing. At least with hand-me-downs I know where it's from. And before you attack me I have nothing against consignment stores I'm just not comfortable shopping there plus I don't really like keeping things from dh.
Bring it on ppl just tell me this is normal and I'll be ok and deal with it.

imasinger

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:31 pm

My DH might, I repeat, MIGHT, notice if the kids were going around unclothed. Short of that, he doesn't notice. So I don't have your problem, but I do third the idea of getting him more involved in the shopping. My DH enjoys doing this online, even though he rarely notices what the kids have on.

I will tell him what I am looking for ("DS grew and needs 7 pairs of pants, size 8"). He checks it out and tells me the best price he can find online. I tell him I will limit the purchase to that amount or less.

If you buy off season, it's a huge money saver. Right now, I am looking at next year's fall and winter clothes.

You could try telling your DH about your great bargains when you hand him the receipt and show him the clothes. That way, you get to present it your way before he sees the bill on the credit card. He might still yell, but he would probably calm down pretty quickly when reminded.

amother

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 11:53 am

My trick (works great each time) is that I tell him "you see this outfit I got, it was $80. but the original price was $120. and he feels like he saved tons of money and he also thinks im a great shopper because of that.
Whenever I order online like Gilt or Myhabbit, I always show him the original price.
With dressy styles from the jewish stores I always buy whats current and just excuse it by saying you cant find nice dressy clothing online so twice a year winter and spring I shop at the local stores.
And shoes must be fit so no online.

spring13

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 12:32 pm

My DH is aware of the effort I make to save money on clothing. We have a Kohl's card and make sure to make purchases there when we get 30% off coupons: I hit TCP a few times a year when there are major deals, and yes I'm a big consignment shopper. If I get DD a winter coat from Lands End, he knows that I got it for 30% off the sale price and free shipping or whatever. So yeah, buying a new wardrobe for my oldest every season costs $, but because I involve him in the process at least some of the time, he comprehends how much I do to keep the costs down.

Take him shopping with you, or spend a while showing him how you're stacking discounts online. And then take him to a boutique in your area and show him how much it's possible to spend if you're not trying at all.

lfab

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 1:38 pm

I totally understand not being able to do laundry more than once a week. When we lived in our apartment and had no washer/dryer I only did laundry once a week because it meant schlepping out to the Laundromat. Therefore each child needed a minimum of 6 weekday outfits plus a few extra in case a change was needed (and even more for the baby).
I would suggest that at the start of each season you make a list of all the clothes you need for each child. Then sit down with your husband and together figure out a reasonable budget in order to purchase those items. Maybe go online with him and show him the original prices at stores like Kohl's, Old Navy, Children's Place (nothing fancy) so he has an idea of what's reasonable. After shopping then show him how much you ended up paying for the same/similar items after sales and coupons so he sees you're making an effort to lower clothing costs. Agree to only purchase what's necessary and if you can (children are same gender) pass from older child to younger child. Hopefully once he realizes that you are putting in the effort not to spend more than necessary he'll stop commenting after each shopping trip.

lfab

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 1:43 pm

abaker

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 4:13 pm

dont "go shopping" and buy each dc a weeks worth of clothing at a time, fit it in to your regular trips to the store....so grab some stretchies for the baby when your at target anyway...a skirt or 2 for dd when your out at the mall to pick up something else....an outfit for your toddler when your at costco grocery shopping. that way you aren't coming home with a huge amount of stuff and a big bill to go with it. as long as your shopping on sale/within your budget...spread out your purchases and it won't be such a shocker.

have dh shop with you...mine does BH. he will understand better by going with you and seeing what things cost. my dh dresses very well and finds amazing bargains...so he use to think "if I can find a dress shirt for myself for $15 on sale...toddler button up shirts should be practically free" but in reality he sees that in the stores on sale the item is $7 or so...he now knows just because a kids shirt is much smaller, your still not gonna find one for free. lol

bnm

Fri, Mar 28 2014, 6:32 pm

I walk on the street on yom tov and point out what other kids are wearing and prices. I also spread out my purchases. I got some stuff for my daughter last year end of season and now in the winter when some store was putting out clearance stuff. all she needed for the summer was a robe and shabbos outfit, tights and shells. every few weeks when I see a decent sale I buy an outfit or 2 so its really spread out

granolamom

Sat, Mar 29 2014, 10:12 pm

Jewishmofm wrote:

I HATE shopping (especially for clothes). so I do everybodies everything from head to toe at once. ONCE a year. and then fill in the inevitable "holes" in the warderobe one other time per year. It's part and parcel of living, spending money on clothes. I don't buy particularly cheaply, it adds up to more in terms of not handing it down to others, not lasting out a season of washes, etc.
what's with the new season/new wardrobe? why not build a year round layering wardrobe.

your info says you live in LA. the weather there, I am told, is more temperate than in NY for example. there is no way I can just 'layer' for a year round look. yes, some pieces can be worked into a year round look. but its hot here in the summer and the kids need shorts, in the winters they wear heavier fabrics. you'd look really strange wearing summer clothes over long sleeves in January. I'm really no fashionista nor do I much care what everyone thinks of my outfit, but I am a believer in not having your kids stick out like a sore thumb. kids need seasonal clothes in some parts. that goes for outerwear, footwear, and sleepwear as well.

granolamom

Sat, Mar 29 2014, 10:14 pm

miami85 wrote:

can you really find for less than $10/item? I have seen well priced designer clothes in consignment shops but shopping at target or walmart is often still cheaper.