Kids fasting on night of Tisha bav?

amother

Mon, Aug 04 2014, 9:46 pm

My friend's husband told her that their daughter is not allowed to eat tonight according to his family's custom. She is only 3 years old. Although the fast starts late, she has a late bedtime. Has anyone ever heard of this? Does anyone know the source? My friend was shocked when her husband told her.

momX4

Mon, Aug 04 2014, 9:53 pm

I dont know the source, but I know people that do this.

My DD went to bed at 7:00 so she is still fasting and not yet 3. My DS age 7 went to bed at 8:30 and asked for a cup of water. I asked if it can wait until the morning, he said no and went to get a drink. I was a little upset since I did talk to him about it earlier, but I would never force a child to fast if they are asking for a drink.

amother

Mon, Aug 04 2014, 10:03 pm

Never heard of this for such a young child. What I do is that any child of an old enough age to understand that Tisha Ba'av is a sad day for Bnei Yisrael and why, even on a simple level (for my kids it began between the ages of 4 1/2 and 6 depending on the child) should only drink water until the morning. Over approximately age 8 they try to fast (no water even) until morning. Age 9-10 and up (depends on the kid) they try to fast till chatzos. One of my daughters who is almost Bas Mitzvah (a few weeks away) wants to try and fast the whole day. I am reluctantly letting her TRY. Since she is quite small for her age I will be watching her like a hawk for signs of dehydration or weakness. I can't imagine imposing fasting on a 3 year old Confused

Laughing Bag!

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 12:13 am

I actually told my kids (5.5+3.5) to fast until morning, meaning no eating or drinking after seudas hamafsekes which we ate a short hr following supper. They were not supposed to be hungry or thirsty as we made them drink. Of course ds 3 came out of bed later wanting to drink I told him he really needs to fast until morning but if he really needs he can take a little water. Technically they fast like this every night as I don't let them eat or drink past bedtime we just don't call it fasting.

freidasima

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 5:41 am

From what we learn and teach there is no "preparing" to fast on Tisha beav as we all hope this will be a fast that will be cancelled. Only on YK does one tell a child of nine or ten and up to try and fast for a few hours in the morning until they should eat. Not on Tisha beav. Just the opposite. Children should eat until bar/bas mitzva as there is no mitzva to prepare children for this fast other than to explain to them what it is all about.

Do not get confused between YK and tisha be'av. One is mideorayso, the other is miderabbonon and is meant to be TEMPORARY until the Bais Hamikdosh will be rebuilt im yirtza hashem bimhero biyomeinu.

RachelEve14

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 7:44 am

freidasima wrote:

Totally 100%. By not having our children fast we show emunah that by the time they are bar / bat mitzvah Moshiach will be here and there is no need to "practice" fasting on Tisha b'Av (YK is a different story and will always be a fast day so there is an inyan to practice and chinuch). Right now it is a sad day so my kids do not have treats, and they didn't sit on chairs this morning. But they are not bar / bat mitzvah and do not fast Tisha bAv and G/d willing never will have to.

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 7:53 am

My rav prohibits any fasting below age 9. He does allow older children to practice even for 9 Av. Ds is 9 and he wanted to fast for a couple hours. Since sunset is well after dinner time here, that meant delaying breakfast a couple hours, but I'd never enforce these practice fasts. I let him choose and I'd only remind him as a help. I am adamant that he must break it by chatzos if he decides to go longer.

flowerpower

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 9:18 am

Yeps. My kids can't eat or drink anything until the morning. Its no biggie- they ate egg and bread at 8 pm- its much later than they usually finish eating for the day on a typical day anyways.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 9:54 am

My DS is 10 and was begging to fast today. Since he is at an outdoor camp all day, I put very strict limits on this 1) He cant fast past lunch (cant specify until Chatzot because it has to be at the time everyone else eats lunch because they cant have him on his own schedule) 2) If he is hungry/thirsty beforehand, he should eat -especially since he is at camp in the hot sun and active all day and 3) If a counselor or other adult tells him to break his fast, he must do it without argument - since I am not there, I am trusting them to be my eyes and ears.
For YK, where I am with him all day, I will let him go later.

and in case anyone is wondering- no I couldnt leave him home today- I have to be at work

gp2.0

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 10:24 am

My 4 yo DD does not fast. I have heard of people who make their little children fast. AFAIK there is no mekor for this. (Technically speaking she did fast, except for drinking water, as she does every night after 8 p.m. when she's in bed.) I specifically mentioned that she is allowed to eat when explaining about the fast last week, since knowing my DD, she would cry that she is starving if she knew she was supposed to "fast." LOL

It is chinuch enough at this age for her to observe DH and I fasting.

gp2.0

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 10:25 am

freidasima wrote:

I like this.

Soul on fire

Tue, Aug 05 2014, 1:45 pm

Our kids don't fast until the year before they are bas/bar mitzvah. That said I did make my 7 yr old "fast" from after dinner till this morning for breakfast because she always wants to eat at bedtime and it drives me crazy. But that isn't something unusual and she did have a bottle of water to take to bed. Then after breakfast this morning she puked all over the house anyway. Confused

So I'm glad I didn't let her eat before bed or I would have had to wake up to clean that during the night.