Methods for dealing with hyperactive boy

amother

Fri, Sep 05 2014, 3:31 pm

4 yo DS is very good-hearted and smart, but has been hyperactive since he started to walk. He is the middle child and I know he craves attention but I physically can't give him as much as he wants/needs. Most of the time he won't listen to me, with whatever it is, until I lose it and start screaming, at which point he'll listen but then says softly "don't yell at me, mommy", which probably should make me feel bad but doesn't. At home he literally bounces off the walls, unless he's drugged by a video, which I limit to one day a week. He gets very physical with his siblings and me, grabbing them and squeezing them, in an affectionate way but it bothers everyone. He's always had a need for very physical feelings - as a toddler he'd often bang his head against people (which he's outgrown) and loved being wrestled with (still does).

The only thing that works for his bad behavior temporarily is sending him to time out. There have been times that I'm literally in tears for his lack of cooperation and general wildness.
When I mention that he's hyper to his teachers, they're surprised because at school he's very well-behaved, and when he's home alone without his siblings he's great, too. Like a different kid.
I would think he has ADHD but B'H he grasps everything he learns in school and can focus for a fairly long time (15-20 min) on something he's interested in, like puzzles, Legos, stories.
Looking for methods I can use to get him to listen because I'm sick of screaming and trying to restrain myself from slapping him.

seeker

Fri, Sep 05 2014, 6:31 pm

The "hyper" behavior sounds like sensory seeking (bouncing off walls, squeezing people, head banging...) See an OT for recommendations. Meanwhile, if you don't already have, get a mini trampoline (assuming you don't have room for a big one Wink

) and set him bouncing on it a few times a day - a couple by default and additionally when he starts bouncing on other things. Give him jobs where he can push/pull things that are hard/heavy. Give him your old play dough that's starting to dry out and have him soften it again. Look for ways to get him that sensory experience he seems to be looking for.

BTW I am not going to label anyone as having or not having ADHD, but I want to clarify that people with ADHD can focus on things they are interested in for long times. It's called hyperfocusing and is the other side of the same coin that makes it hard for them to focus on things that are not interesting.

amother

Sat, Sep 06 2014, 11:27 pm

I second the trampoline. Talk to your dr about putting him on the treadmill if you have one.

About the physical touch, my DS craved it when he was younger. He would hit, pinch, push everyone. I told him if he ever needs a hug I can give it to him. He loves tight hugs. Since DS did have therapy for other things, I did speak to them about sensory issues and I was told he was ok. I also got him squish balls so he can keep his hands busy in the car.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 12:01 am

I second the idea of approaching an OT for ideas.

The Family First a week ago had an article where they interviewed 2 OT sisters that have an individualized approach that described your son to a T. Smart, but sometimes hyperactive or sensory. Definitely pursue OT

seeker

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 12:24 am

I read that article and was intrigued because I looked into using them once and they are super expensive (and my insurance doesn't cover OT and they don't take DOE contracts) and I don't know anyone who's used them - though according to the article they have thousands of satisfied customers.