When they all walk in the door at the same time

Twizzlers

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 6:51 pm

Looking for advice on how to handle a 4 year old, 6 year old and 8 year old who all walk in the door after school at the same time, and need to eat supper, do homework (not the 4 year old), and get ready for bed within a short amount of time (about 45 min).

They all want to talk about their day, but have no patience to wait when their sibling is talking.

I have mastered listening to chumash in one ear, and kriah in the other ear etc but I end up kind of shuffling them along the routine, not really focusing on any one child at a time.

Also, I do the carpool home, which has me driving/sitting in the car for at least an hour (after a full day of work), so I'm kind of drained by the time we all walk in the door as well.

Oh, and dh is at work, so I'm on my own at this time.

Help?

Twizzlers

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 7:00 pm

Sherri wrote:

They're doing everything in 45 minutes?

I know it sounds like a short time, but we walk in the door at about 7pm, and they must be in bed by 8 to be up in the morning for the bus.

Bh, we lucked out with the homework so far; it doesnt take each kid more than 5-7 minutes to complete (so far!)

STovah

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 7:00 pm

Some ideas that worked sometimes for me-

give the 4 year old a special toy/book/cd to use during that time so you can focus your attention on the 6 year old and 8 year old. I found that I needed to get the preschooler occupied so that he wouldn't demand attention in out of control ways while I was doing homework with the other kids.

45 minutes is a little tight to squeeze everyone in, so maybe have the 8yo stay up a little later with you.

I also make it clear when one child is interrupting me while working with another child that he needs to wait his turn, sometimes being firm about it helps.

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 7:04 pm

We also experienced this issue after moving this summer, with all my older kids coming home the same time. This is how I have started managing the issue of them all wanting to talk. Since you're the driver, this may work for you too -- whomever is buckled first gets to talk for about a minute about whatever exciting thing happened in the basics (more chance to talk later about details). Next buckled, gets the next turn, etc.

At home, you can have little tickets with 1, 2, and 3 -- and whomever draws #1 first gets 5 minutes of just you in a room -- even the kitchen as you do supper-- to talk, any basic start for homework. If anyone else bothers you when it's not their turn they will have a longer wait/forfeit their time till after supper (whatever works for you). My kids see this as fair, but this week I just started a weekly rotation to just have it kavuah that this week is the fourth grader's turn, next week the third grader's, etc and it seems to strike my kids just fine because they know when their turn is coming.

HonesttoGod

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 7:47 am

Have each kid get a turn.
Make a "rota" who gets to talk first and it goes for 5 minues.
So Monday: 8yo first 5 minutes 6yo next 4yo third. Then they are free to talk. One at a time.
Tuesday 6yo first 4yo second 8yo third.
Wednesday 4yo first 8yo second 6yo third.

You get the picture. It is difficult though, we also all get home at the same time (dh too) and some nights it is just insane.

animeme

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 7:55 am

I assume the kids are in some sort of aftercare program to be getting home so late. Is it possible to have them do their homework there? Just to take the edge off.

MaBelleVie

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 7:56 am

I'm assuming they don't finish school so close to seven. So what is happening between dismissal and arrival at home? Can they spend that time doing homework or eating dinner that you bring along? Can they spend that time taking turns talking to you?

amother

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 10:34 am

Would it be helpful to start the talking in the car when all other kids have left. I agree with being very clear of whose turn it is to talk. They most probably all want your undivided attention so will be willing to not interrupt their siblings (might require reminders for the younger or more impulsive kids). You might have to start youngest to oldest because younger ones might not have the self control to wait till their turn if it takes 10 minutes to get to their turn. While you are talking to one kid - the other kids should be taking out their HW and putting it in front of them. If there is anything that they can do by themselves (I.e. math sheets, k'siva sheets) they should start while you are talking to the younger ones.

I am having this similar problem but regarding keeping small kids busy while I try to juggle doing HW with multiple big kids.