Second marriage wedding?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:44 pm

My mother who is a widow is BH engaged to a divorced man and they are planning to get married BE"H. They are both baalei teshuva with small families, relatively small circle of friends etc. Originally my mother was thinking to just do a small family/close friends affair- chuppah and a nice dinner type of thing. But her chosson suggested doing something more elaborate (he didnt insist though). So my mother is now looking into a hall that would do a small wedding (50-75 people).

I am just curious -do second marriage weddings typically look like"regular" weddings with a band, hall, flowers etc or is it typically more low key? Don't know if it makes a difference - they are in their early 60s.

Thanks

amother

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:48 pm

it's more like an elaborate sheva brochos. Is it hard for you that your mom is remarrying or are you happy for her?

Rutabaga

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:55 pm

I've only been to one wedding that was a second marriage. It was really lovely. The couple only invited close family and friends, so everyone who was there was so happy for them. The chuppah was in a shul and the reception afterwards was a dairy buffet in the shul's simcha room. My favorite part was watching the children of both the chassan and kallah dancing together.

I think it's really up to the couple. They are certainly old enough to do what they want without having to fulfill other people's expectations. If they want low-key, then that's what they should do. If they want elaborate, then go for it. It's important that they're on the same page though.

amother

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 1:55 pm

I'm very happy for her.

But not sure what it has to do with the wedding planning Smile

DrMom

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 2:26 pm

I've been to some second weddings that were smaller Friday morning affairs, others that were regular full-blown weddings, some that were smaller backyard gatherings.

Depends on the couple, their circumstances, their style, etc.

All had music/dancing.

Mazal tov!

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 11 2014, 2:50 pm

I've seen third weddings bigger than first, if only because more money Wink

My parents I'm not sure if they had music at the chuppa. First marriage. Restaurant in family after. Not privatized, just book and go and eat.

I've seen just a minyan, too, and a chuppa.

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