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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
markmywords
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 Thu, Feb 12 2015, 12:20 pm
Help!
No matter what I do or say my kids keep choosing these horrible halloween type of costume choices. They like scary fighting ones like zombies, ghosts, etc
I've told them to think of other options and gave them suggestions, but they don't want any.
What do I do???
I hate hate hate allowing them to dress in a way that does not reflect our values.
I know it's only one day a year but I just think it's inappropriate and does not reflect who we are.
What would you do???
Please advise.
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chani8
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 12:28 pm
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I used to give each of my kids an amount of money to spend for Purim, and they could do whatever they wanted with it. Spend the money on costumes, candy, extra shalach manos, or save it. They got over spending a lot on costumes and used the money for fun. They would just buy makeup or hair spray or a wig or a mask. If your child really really wants to spend his money to be a zombie, so just let him. His choice. It's just one day.
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 12:33 pm
| markmywords wrote: | Help!
No matter what I do or say my kids keep choosing these horrible halloween type of costume choices. They like scary fighting ones like zombies, ghosts, etc
I've told them to think of other options and gave them suggestions, but they don't want any.
What do I do???
I hate hate hate allowing them to dress in a way that does not reflect our values.
I know it's only one day a year but I just think it's inappropriate and does not reflect who we are.
What would you do???
Please advise. |
 DD does the same thing. Ever since she got old enough to have an opinion, she's wanted scary, gross, gory, or otherwise inappropriate costumes. She's not into being cute or pretty, she wants to be creepy! I can't even talk her into being a "goth girl", because that's too pretty for her.
I have told her over and over again about the story of Esther, about how we celebrate life and the non jews glorify death, but she's just not having any of it.
I miss the days of adorable mommy/daughter costumes!
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Scrabble123
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:00 pm
| chani8 wrote: | | I used to give each of my kids an amount of money to spend for Purim, and they could do whatever they wanted with it. Spend the money on costumes, candy, extra shalach manos, or save it. They got over spending a lot on costumes and used the money for fun. They would just buy makeup or hair spray or a wig or a mask. If your child really really wants to spend his money to be a zombie, so just let him. His choice. It's just one day. |
This.
You cannot preach your values suddenly now that Purim is around the corner and expect your kids to follow suit. If you have a problem with zombies and ghosts, find a way to incorporate that into your conversations throughout a year and see how that impacts next year Purim. They still may like being ghosts though, and I think that you should let them.
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luppamom
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:17 pm
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I used to love witches and always wanted to dress up as one. I think I turned out OK. It's the one day they can chill. Let it be. There aren't witches, ghosts, vampires etc. they're Jewish children. They'll get over it.
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amother
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:19 pm
| FranticFrummie wrote: | DD does the same thing. Ever since she got old enough to have an opinion, she's wanted scary, gross, gory, or otherwise inappropriate costumes. She's not into being cute or pretty, she wants to be creepy! I can't even talk her into being a "goth girl", because that's too pretty for her.
I have told her over and over again about the story of Esther, about how we celebrate life and the non jews glorify death, but she's just not having any of it.
I miss the days of adorable mommy/daughter costumes! |
I have to go amother for this b/c people very likely remember. But, when I was in HS for a Purim chagiga. I dressed up like a gothic. I went to Mac and got my makeup job and looked so scary and awesome. I also had these Purim shoes (HUGE heals) I got for a few dollars. I think my poor principal wanted to disown me  Luckily I had already gotten into a great seminary and could chill 
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mille
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:21 pm
I'm wondering which group of people has values that ARE reflected by zombies and ghosts. 
Personally, they're kids. I'd let them dress up as whatever as long as it's not vulgar (sorry kid, playboy bunny is not a valid costume). It's just one day, and it makes them happy. I would let it slide.
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DrMom
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:43 pm
I think it's legitimate to create a "family rule" that all Purim costumes must be wholesme.
How old are your kids?
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Scrabble123
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:47 pm
| DrMom wrote: | I think it's legitimate to create a "family rule" that all Purim costumes must be wholesme.
How old are your kids? |
Possibly, but you cannot create and enforce that rule from one minute to the next. She can work on that for next year, but her kids were not prepared for that.
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MrsDash
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:48 pm
It's the one day a year where their choices don't reflect on who they are or what they stand for. I say, let it be. 
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bluebird
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:49 pm
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I symoathize, OP. Purim isn't Halloween.
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imasoftov
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 1:53 pm
| mille wrote: | | I'm wondering which group of people has values that ARE reflected by zombies and ghosts |
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markmywords
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 3:54 pm
I think goblins, ghosts, and witches reflect the tone of Halloween, not Purim.
Although I'd love for them to ask to dress like David Hamelech or Esther hamalkah, I'd be ok with something neutral like a robot or little bo peep.
I hear everyone, though.
Let loose and let them live.
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 4:07 pm
| Scrabble123 wrote: | | Possibly, but you cannot create and enforce that rule from one minute to the next. She can work on that for next year, but her kids were not prepared for that. |
Why are people assuming that this conversation only comes up once a year? We have variations on this conversation all year round. We LIVE Jewish values.
The question is, where are our kids getting influenced that they're so drawn to non Jewish ideas? That's what we need to tackle.
All I can say is, MOSHIACH NOW!!!
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zaq
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 5:00 pm
| bluebird wrote: | | I symoathize, OP. Purim isn't Halloween. |
Maybe not, but have we forgotten the "venahafoch hu" theme? Purim is the one time during the year that you get to be what you are not.
Which is why I am going as Miss America. Evening gown version, of course, not swimsuit version.
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markmywords
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 5:05 pm
Zaq
That makes me feel better
Thank you!
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zaq
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Thu, Feb 12 2015, 5:11 pm
| markmywords wrote: | Zaq
That makes me feel better
Thank you! |
You're welcome--I'm glad my costume choice made you happy! (JK)
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