Keeping a 2.5 year old home

amother

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 7:02 pm

I always thought it was BEST to be with home with your young children until it was time for school.
I ALWAYS felt guilty that I sent my oldest out 1 years old, .. but what you could do.

Now with my 3rd, I've B"H been able to stay home with her and she just turned 2.5
B"H I've been able to work from home, but lately (the past month or so) my boss has asked me to come in for like 2-3 hours a day to help out..and I could not say no.
I found a great babysitter on my block and I share, there are two other 2 year old. and my DD is having the BEST time.
I am so surprised, (she was very attached to me) but what I am most amazed at is how much she changed!
The past 3 weeks, her language and communication skills tripled, she has A LOT more patience and doesn't scream for every thing she wants (like she really used to) she learned to take turns, she started eating all these great foods that the babysitter gives them... all these things which she obviously didn't do with me.

so now im wondering, have I been a hindrance? Am I wrong to have thought keeping babies home is better?

What do you think?

FranticFrummie

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 7:46 pm

Each kid is different, and each playgroup is different. It sounds like you found an awesome match, and a few hours out of the day is not going to cause any problems, especially if she's not having attachment issues.

Some kids are more clingy, and are not emotionally ready to leave home until preK. It sounds like you have a very smart kiddo, and the extra stimulus is doing her a lot of good. Other kids would have horrible separation anxiety and scream the whole time.

Go with your gut, it seems like you have a great balance here!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 7:49 pm

PS: I am a super crunchy "attachment parent", and in general I am against sending kids out until they are 3.5 or 4 years old - BUT you can't argue with success.

I say, as long as your kid is happy, it's all good. Very Happy

greenfire

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 8:08 pm

what is good for one kid isn't always best for the other ...

great that she is having a grand time and learning to socialize - it doesn't mean that she didn't prefer the mommy & me for the time you were together

the world's best mom

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 10:15 pm

I think that the reason she goes happily is because she's ready. If she had gone in September, she might have cried all day.

It's not uncommon for a kid's speech to develop a lot once they spend a lot of time with peers. That doesn't mean that she lost out by not having this earlier.

2kiddos

Thu, Feb 19 2015, 11:17 pm

I echo those who said it depends on the child. I have personally sent two kids at 2 years old and they loved it. I now have my 2.5 yr old home who doesn't stop begging me to send her to school. I'm not a good mom for keeping her home. She's bored and understimulated. Just keeping her home for financial reasons

chani8

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 2:38 am

That's such good news that your child is enjoying the babysitter and other kids her age. I see no reason for guilt here.

To have a rule about when to send a child to gan is a bit limiting. You have to decide what is best for your family, and that can change with each child, and of course it's important to take into account the child's personality.

amother

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 2:56 am

I definitely agree about your baby. 2.5 is old enough that they can really start to socialize and learn things. Playing w/ other kids their age can be so good for their development, even if it just means inviting over other little kids.

It's just reminding me of when I sent my then 6 mo. old baby to the babysitter b/c I had a doctor's appointment. I came back and the babysitter said she was amazing. She played on the floor. She ate her food (much better than she did for me). I found her contently sitting in a swing and I wondered what I was doing wrong... Bottom line, I still think 6 mos. is too young to send a baby just b/c they seem to have a good time. (Obviously someone who needs to do this for work or whatever reason is a different story.)

amother

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 3:12 am

now this is making me feel so guilty. I send my kids out from four months , from 7 to 4. as if I dont eat mynheart about it as it is, but I work! am I the only mom who works full time???

chani8

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 5:24 am

amother wrote:

now this is making me feel so guilty. I send my kids out from four months , from 7 to 4. as if I dont eat mynheart about it as it is, but I work! am I the only mom who works full time???

As long as your children learn to bond in their first year, it's fine.

amother

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 3:19 pm

amother wrote:

now this is making me feel so guilty. I send my kids out from four months , from 7 to 4. as if I dont eat mynheart about it as it is, but I work! am I the only mom who works full time???

op here-
DO NOT FEEL BAD!! I'm sorry I really didn't mean for you to feel guilty for bringing your kids to the babysitter! I did it with my first 2 kids!! ( I think I even wrote that!)

I guess I should have been specific to WAHM or SAHM.

But please do not feel guilty there is NOTHING wrong with it!!

Thanks all for the replies.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Feb 20 2015, 6:13 pm

For the another who feels guilty, I repeat, if the baby is happy, then it's all GOOD!

I used to watch the most delicious little girl, 6 months old to about a year old. She never cried at drop off, didn't cry all day, and didn't cry when her mom came to pick her up. She never went through that "Mom, you LEFT ME ALONE" thing when she'd see her mom again, she was just all smiles.

I once watched a 2yo girl who did nothing but stand at the front door and scream for 3 hours, until she fell asleep on the entry rug. - Never again! (She's 6 now, and she's still an incredibly difficult child. She has serious ODD, and makes everyone miserable.)