Worried Sick | Imamother

amother

Pearl

Mon, Mar 30 2015, 10:28 pm

I am literally feeling physically ill from all this. My dh left his solid, reliable job a few months ago to work in a more risky field. Needless to say, it is not working out well. We are at the point where he NEEDS to find a new job and we are both stressed and kinda freaking out. We have no family to turn to for help if things don't work out, and this whole idea to leave his job was plain stupid in my opinion, but there's nothing we can do about it now. Anyway tonight we just had an argument cuz he keeps pushing off looking for a new job and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. He's talented and smart and good at what he does. I am so sick from this the past few weeks and tonight I just broke down. On the bright side I think I got my point across, but I don't know if it'll help anymore at this point anyway. Nothing's going to happen til at least after pesach and we really need money asap! And it could take him months to find anything. I just cannot stop crying, I have so much anxiety. I don't know what I want anyone to tell me, but I guess I just needed to let it out. I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this in real life. Thanks for listening.

LovetoLive

Mon, Mar 30 2015, 10:32 pm

Im sorry you're going through this. If he is generally the responsible type then I think you should let it be his problem. When he cannot pay the bills he will get a job.
Its not your place to worry and be anxious. Thats his domain.

Again, this only applies if he is the responsible type. If not then you do need to push him.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Mar 30 2015, 10:39 pm

OP, I am in a very similar situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach with worry, and feel like I am walking around on the verge of tears. DH doesn't seem to get it through his head that we need him to find a job NOW. We can't wait.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this IRL. It's just too embarrassing. I am so upset with him right now. Sending chizuk.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 30 2015, 11:26 pm

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like your dh is the type that can hold down a good job once he finds one. Once he sets his mind to it, he will probably be ok. There are many opportunities out there. The question is what is holding him back from trying to find one? Also, is there work you can do to make some money till he finds something stable? Maybe u two can sit down and try to strategize a plan over pesach. I completely get the anxiety and the stress and the crying especially during the pre-pesach rush but the last thing you want is to be fighting, not sleeping and have no money?(I've been in that state of mind before that's why I say this;) Wink

you'll be in my prayers. Hope g-d has something good in store for you and you should find a source of Parnassah very soon.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 12:18 pm

Op here. Thanks so much to everyone who responded- it really means a lot.
We had a long talk last night and basically he admitted that the reason why he keeps pushing off looking is because he's terrified of getting back into the corporate world again. By his last job, he was very overworked and under appreciated so he's scared to get stuck in a similar situation. But I think he's realizing that we don't really have a choice at this point. He promised to start looking for real, and I really really hope he finds something quickly.

To the mother who asked- I do work already, but I'm only able to work part time right now due to babysitting situation. So while what I bring in does help, it definitely is not enough to cover all our expenses. Hopefully in the fall, when my child starts real school I'll be able to work more hours.

Thanks for all your input, it really helped to put my mind at ease.

Hugs to the amother who's in a similar situation. Hope everything works out for you!!

amother

cornflower

Tue, Mar 31 2015, 12:52 pm

I really feel for you. Last year my DH was looking for a job almost the entire year (not by choice- he just graduated law school and could barely land an interview) and it was very very hard and very very stressful on me. Sounds like your DH is not entry level, so once he really wants that kind of job (and want it he will after seeing how stressful it is not to make money when you have real expenses), he can get it. In the meantime is it at all possible for you to take on some extra work and maybe hire the babbysitter for longer or have family help? It really stinks but just daven that it should get better soon iyh it will