What Parenting Course / Book would you recommend?

amother

Sienna

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 12:05 am

Amother who did Dr. Koslowitz, (or are you more than one?) can you please provide more details? I'm considering it but not quite sure if my child really fits the category that the person on the phone said was right. I would like more details. I wish there were a website or something explaining more about the "types."

My child does a lot of arguing/whining/negotiating and has a hard time accepting if things are not going to go their way. Also does not accept consequences, does not seem to get the relationship between their behavior and the result - blames others, parents, etc ("You hurt me!" when child does something they were advised not to do and gets hurt, e.g.) always thinks people are being mean (parents, teachers, or natural consequences with friends who may not want to play if you don't play nicely) instead of accepting responsibility for actions/consequences.

The person on the phone said I should take the highly reactive child course, because I was describing the intensity of child's reactions to being given a consequence or not getting their way. The child indeed tends toward intense reactions and is very sensitive but I wonder if "highly reactive" describes also this problem of not getting the connection between your actions and their consequences. Child does seem highly reactive at times but at times not necessarily, and can also be "disorganized/distractible" (lots of our "high reaction" situations happen after 20 minutes of trying to get dressed in the morning, for instance. You remind/redirect for the 5th time and they snap and you're ready to snap too, KWIM?) and pretty "socially awkward" though I would say while it's a developmental concern for us it's not really the crisis that's sending me looking for parent counseling.

Would love to hear from someone who took that course whether it seems right, whether that kind of thing is covered, what it is about... just more details. In general, obviously I don't expect to be handed all the wisdom but I want to know what I'm signing up for before sending out $400.

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 4:28 am

I'd start with 1-2-3 magic since it's a short book with a very clear method. I am taking Rebbetzin Spetners course. But I'm in Israel. She does come to the UK and U.S. Twice a year. I believe she accepts emails with clear questions from anyone.
Pm me for her email. She may have a suggestion for your location too.

saw50st8

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 8:06 am

amother wrote:

OP here. This looks great! Have you found it worked for your family?

Sorry OP, I missed this question.

Yes, I do find it works well for my family. Like all methods, consistency is the key and I'm not always consistent.

jflower

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 8:19 am

Another vote for 123 Magic. It changed the dynamic in my house. If I remember correctly it was only about $10. The trick is to stick with it & not cave when your child whines or argues.

That book gave me brilliant advice & helped me a lot.

Ruchel

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 8:28 am

Rosemond is great. You don't have to use the more hardcore stuff in it, but the hashkafa is very Jewish (traditional, not progressive Jewish) and we resolved a few issues quickly and well with his books.

I also love anything Jungreis or Slovie Wolff, Blessing of a skinned knee, and Delicate balance. Generally don't "get" the more progressive books Wink

junam

Sat, Jun 06 2015, 5:22 pm

Lymnok, where can I get info about R spetners course?

amother

Dodgerblue

Sat, Jun 06 2015, 5:45 pm

Garden of Education.
Children are H-Shem's mouthpiece showing us what we need to fix within ourselves.
If we understand what H-Shem is showing us, and fix it, children's behavior fall into place.
You must be willing to do the work and face what needs fixing.
Life changing for the whole family

amother

Salmon

Sat, Jun 06 2015, 6:40 pm

Rabbi Dov Brezak's classes completely changed the way I parent and really took a lot of stress out of parenting. He is starting a teleconference course and he also has a book. You can email his secretary mrsdkavey@gmail.com for more information.

Anon because I tell everyone this, but I would be happy to pm you if you want more info.

amother

Magenta

Sat, Jun 06 2015, 11:02 pm

I too am in search of a parenting guidance counselor or course- I want it to be live though, am so frustrated that it is so hard to find! I'm located in Brooklyn- are parents here just so naturally gifted that no one needs any help?

belovedaz

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:21 am

Dina Friedman course

innovative mom

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 3:50 am

Just saw an add that Rebbitzen Spetner will be in New York from mid July thru the beginning of August. Her courses are supposed to be amazing!

Roses4me

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 4:10 am

Sara chana radcliffs book 'Raising your kids without raising your voice'.

imasoftov

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 4:11 am

amother wrote:

... H-Shem ...

Seriously?

malkaf

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 8:14 am

Dr. Koslowitz's course for the highly reactive child really changed my life. And the way you describe your child sounds just like mine. Her approach is very clear and systematic. You emerge with real tools for modifying behavior, and a really good understanding of how a child with this neuroprofile works. Feel free to ask me more specific questions.