Why don't chassidish women fast?

notshanarishona

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:16 pm

sweetpotato wrote:

Why does it always seem that on days that we are meant to be mourning the destruction of the Beis haMikdash and our galus, we davka start threads to bash other Jews?

A gringe taanis.

Agree. I just wrote a similar post on another thread and then saw this..

a jewish woman

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:22 pm

Carmen Luna wrote:

The minhag that Chasidishe women dont fast originates from the notion that a woman's primary role is to be a mother, and in order to function better, it was paskened that women shouldn't fast. That, and obviously because most chasidishe women are either pregnant or nursing, so...

Women would also function better as a mother if they can drive when they need to. And many women would also function better if they don't have lots of children. And I can go on and on but I think you get my point. So why is one thing more important to functioning well as a mother versus everything else that could assist them as well?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:23 pm

a jewish woman wrote:

Read my original post (about wb bus and women schlepping around while pregnant etc), you'll understand it better.

I don't see how your first post creates understanding. There some negative practices of chassidim and some positive and some neutral. Why do the neutral and the positive also have to be turned into negative? Anyone who claims that not obligating women to fast is a negative, is just looking to complain.

Sanguine

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:23 pm

I was at all 3 of my son's Brit's. Never heard of anyone not being at it. I can't imagine letting my newborn out of my site for any time. For my oldest I even had to walk a few blocks in 90 degrees heat in Miami on Yontif. I've heard that the mother isn't supposed to be there cause she might stop the mohel from hurting her child so I always stood near the back (it's not like I was considered to be in front). But I certainly participated in the seuda after too.

I also fast - and now it's time to break our fasts here in Israel. Have a Tzom Kal and we'll be thinking of you Very Happy

Carmen Luna

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:26 pm

a jewish woman wrote:

apparently you misunderstood me. Im not the one that made this minhag. OP asked a question, I answered it. If you want to take everything as a way to bash Chassidim, go ahead. Just dont drag me along. (I know, I know. Your not bashing, your just stating all the problems of "your" community)

Amelia Bedelia

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:27 pm

Afaik, the reason many chassidish women don't attend their sons' brissim, is not because they can't tolerate the baby's crying, but rather, the woman may feel a pang when she hears her baby's cry, but since Hashem commanded that we perform a bris on an eight day old male, we try to avoid being there lest it appear that we "resent" the pain being caused to the infant.

mandr

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:34 pm

alittlebirdie wrote:

I actually enjoy fasting so I fast whenever it's not dangerous for me to fast.

THen fasting is not meant for you.

FWIW I'm chassidish and I fast. I fasted through pregnancy (I had both Tisha Bav and Yom Kippur during my pregnancy) and well as when nursing. The minor fasts like Tzom Gedalya, Asara B'Teves, I did not do while nursing.

a jewish woman

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:42 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

If you look at my first post you will find that I was protesting the use of the word coddle associated with chasidishe women for reasonsexplained in the post. The conversation then went a little deeper with the use of words like contradictions and hypocrisy.
Not sure what neutral, negative, or positive has to do with anything.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 1:50 pm

I consider myself Chassidish. My mother and grandmother are also chassidshe women - they always fasted but told me that when their children were little they didnt. I never used being a women as an excuse not to fast. Although nursing and pregnant women should not fast only on Tisha Bav and Yom Kippur. I thought that that was accepted by all. Additionally, today is a nidcha and even men who have a hard time fasting will have an easier time to get a heter not to fast.

5mom

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 2:31 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

Ok, last time. Women are obligated to fast, and it has been the practice of religious women to fast since the churban. Some communities don't observe this obligation because of social norms. When social norms override halacha, that is a negative. No matter what community we are talking about.
I am not the op of this thread, but I am curious about the practice. That's all.

chani8

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 2:44 pm

Just like we were puttered from donning tefillin because of child and home care, so too, we're puttered from fasting if it gets in the way of child and home care.

So if you don't wear tefillin, you don't need to fast. Wink

myself

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 2:50 pm

chani8 wrote:

Thanks for the p'tor Chani LOL

. I still fast when I can though, tefillin or not.

5mom

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 2:53 pm

chani8 wrote:

Except that we are not exempt from fasting.

There are elements of keeping shabbos that get in the way of child and home care. Too bad, we cope.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 3:09 pm

Litvish to the core here, and I've never understood how there could be a blanket "women don't fast" either.

That being said, some of the things mentioned on this thread do work well with two things I have noticed:

1-When I fasted a small fast a full three years after being pregnant and finishing nursing, for the first time in ten years, all of a sudden I fasted so much better than I had since before I first got pregnant. It really does take the body awhile to get back to itself.

2-I have asked numerous rabbanim what to do when I could fast just fine if I'm not taking care of kids, but since I need to, I don't think I'll have enough koach to manage it. Every time, the answer is, "Get help." When I counter with, "What if I can't? ", the answer is a combo of "ask your husband" (who is usually at work) and "Try hard to get some." Doesn't feel like a real answer.

June

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 3:17 pm

I receive daily halachah emails from "Halacha for Today," and this is what I learned last week in regard to Sinas Chinam:

Quote:

The Netziv, HaRav Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (in Shu"t Mayshiv Davar Vol.1 Siman 44 and in other places) famously expounds upon this "baseless hatred" and explains that it was not just a hatred towards people for petty iniquities, rather it included a hatred for any Jew who practiced their "Avodas Hashem" in a different manner than them.

If one saw another Jew relying on a Halachic leniency which was accepted in that person's community, but wasn't relied upon in their own circles, instead of accepting that "Eilu V'Eilu Divrei Elokim Chaim" (See Talmud Eruvin 13b) , that person was deemed a heretic and was baselessly hated to the point that people were attacked or even killed for being different! (See the Teshuva at length where he bemoans the reality of this "Sinas Chinam", of not accepting different legitimate views or ways of serving Hashem , being "alive and well" and the cause of the Galus extending for so long, unfortunately. See also the Netziv's commentary on the Torah, Ha'amek Davar Bamidbar, 15:41, Vayikra 19:2 and Devarim 10:12)

So maybe everyone should stop the baseless hatred and just accept this practice for what it is?

Laiya

Sun, Jul 05 2015, 3:37 pm

5mom wrote:

Except that we are not exempt from fasting.

There are elements of keeping shabbos that get in the way of child and home care. Too bad, we cope.

I thought this did an interesting job of explaining the background halacha of the minor fasts, and women's obligations vs men's:
http://www.yutorah.org/_shiuri......html

Also, I've heard some rabbanim will say that, if you had a baby 3 years ago or less, you have the status of "meineket" (nursing) regardless of whether you're actually nursing, and you're exempt from the minor fasts until the baby turns 3.