3.5 year old "doesn't like making #2"...

miami85

Mon, Jan 18 2016, 6:32 pm

...in the toilet. He'll do it in his pull-up, underwear, pants--just not in the toilet. I've tried motivating him with a tangible--toys, prizes, with candy--lollipop, ringpop, sour belts, we've used laxatives to make it softer, he will hold it in for hours while wearing nothing on his bottom screaming that he wants the prize/his pants/his special "big boy" blanket he earned for doing it once, but it goes away if he acts like a baby again--while being told over and over--or being ignored until he stops screaming--He just says "I don't like to" or "I don't want to". We've read books, we've talked about the pros of making #2 in the toilet. We've praised him for being a big boy, we've made a big deal over it. He's done it so far like 3-5 times, total. Over Shabbos we finally bit the bullet and just let him scream with a naked bottom until he finally did it--twice. Then Sunday came and it was like back to square one. He just wants to be a baby (he's a middle child) and make it wherever and whenever he pleases, but he's demonstrated that he's capable of holding it in. I unfortunately don't have the luxury to stay home with him next week to nail this home. I took advantage of the fact that I was home when he came home from school--since he often has a BM right before I pick him up from extended day--to make him go, but he's gone from 3:30pm to 9:30pm without going--he concked out after screaming for an hour. He can be SO stubborn and independent minded when he wants to be, and a helpless baby when he wants to be otherwise. Its quite maddening. He is SO ready for toilet training. He goes #1 all the time, and I don't think waiting any longer is helping him, but what can I do?

chocolatecake

Mon, Jan 18 2016, 6:58 pm

my son will be three in a few weeks. he wont go dirty in toliet either. thankfully he doesnt go in his underwear. he gets a diaper when its dark outside and.within ten minutes of the diaper hes dirty. I remind him all time that big boys go in toliet and hell get a prize. I dont really push it more than that. I am hoping that as the days get longer and dark comes later, and he gets his diaper later he wont be able to hold it in as long and hell go in toliet...its very normal to be trained first in number one and then two

miami85

Mon, Jan 18 2016, 8:44 pm

My frustration with this is that when he is dirty he wants me to drop everything that I'm doing and change him--or it turns into a tantrum. While he's more than happy to go to the cabinet for a snack, or milk from the fridge, or get a toy that he wants to play with. Real responsibilities such as cleaning up, eating real food, and taking care of his bathroom needs he turns into a big baby. He likes the attention of us babying him, but I don't want to encourage this behavior.

miami85

Mon, Jan 18 2016, 8:54 pm

We did the suppository thing for a while--when from Shavuos until Sukkos he wasn't going #2 AT ALL without it--a big reason that I didn't push toilet training. Since Sukkos I've found a different product (ingested) that has made going pleasant again, but I feel like allowing him to keep going in the pull-up won't help him.

miami85

Tue, Jan 19 2016, 4:26 pm

So today we sent him to school in underwear, and he was apparently dirty twice during the day--with no regard to going in the toilet. I had a long talk with the assisstant in the class (she does the extended day portion so I see her more frequently) and while they are on-board with this plan, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere with him. What do I do?