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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
Denim
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:29 pm
Interesting problem.
My 7-year-old son, who has ADHD and behavior problems across the board, never ever goes to the bathroom on his own. He doesn't even request it. He waits until I see him dancing, or I smell something, and then I have to force him to sit on the toilet while he vehemently denies that he has to go.
He is a brilliant boy, and physically he is toilet trained. This is a psychological and emotional problem. But neither I nor his therapists can figure out what this comes from or how to address it.
Someone who I respect in the chinuch world suggested that I tell my son stories about yetzias mitzrayim emphasizing the part about Pharoah and his denial of his physical needs.
Can anyone suggest a book that can help me with this?
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yogabird
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:32 pm
I don't think telling your son that he's like Pharaoh is a great idea at all.
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:42 pm
Is it possible that he's trying to get your attention? I had a 4 year old doing this and I found the best method was to ignore it and let him deal with it on his own. The less attention I gave to it, the more he started going on his own.
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amother
Denim
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:50 pm
yogabird wrote: | I don't think telling your son that he's like Pharaoh is a great idea at all. |
Not to tell him that, Chas Veshalom! Just to tell him the stories and let him think about it and come to his own conclusions.
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yogabird
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:54 pm
amother wrote: | Not to tell him that, Chas Veshalom! Just to tell him the stories and let him think about it and come to his own conclusions. |
Dunno. I wouldn't want my seven year old drawing conclusions about himself from Paroh.
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:55 pm
Maybe he really doesnt feel the sensation until its to late..I had a son like that
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amother
Denim
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 9:58 pm
amother wrote: | Is it possible that he's trying to get your attention? I had a 4 year old doing this and I found the best method was to ignore it and let him deal with it on his own. The less attention I gave to it, the more he started going on his own. |
I give this kid tons of attention. And the problem is he doesn't seem to mind being wet or dirty. He is in such denial that he can be reeking something awful, and not be ashamed or anything.
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yogabird
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 10:10 pm
amother wrote: | I give this kid tons of attention. And the problem is he doesn't seem to mind being wet or dirty. He is in such denial that he can be reeking something awful, and not be ashamed or anything. |
Maybe a social story?
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amother
Denim
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:12 pm
yogabird wrote: | Maybe a social story? |
What do you mean?
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animeme
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:22 pm
Have you talked this through with his OT? Many kids with sensory issues hate using the bathroom. He may just be used to being dirty, vs liking it, and prefers it to having to go. Or it is possible he's missing the signals.
I would chart what time he tends to go, and maybe his meals, to get an idea of when he needs to go. Then make a schedule like preschool teachers do and have him go on the schedule, at least to try. Reward him for following it. He will get used to going regularly, and then you can see if he starts going on his own or if a therapist needs to come in to teach him how to recognize the signs. The schedule also helps if he's not going because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. It becomes an expected transition.
Last edited by animeme on Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:25 pm; edited 2 times in total
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cnc
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Thu, Feb 04 2016, 11:22 pm
amother wrote: | I give this kid tons of attention. And the problem is he doesn't seem to mind being wet or dirty. He is in such denial that he can be reeking something awful, and not be ashamed or anything. |
Has he ever been evaluated for sensory issues?
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hotmom
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Fri, Feb 05 2016, 2:39 am
yogabird wrote: | I don't think telling your son that he's like Pharaoh is a great idea at all. |
Thanx for the good laugh!
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imasinger
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Fri, Feb 05 2016, 5:24 am
What animeme said.
Timed elimination is a common solution for boys with ADHD who have this issue.
Eventually, they do grow out of it.
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