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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
Lilac
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:03 pm
Are there girls who age out of foster care with no place to go?
Just noticed this post in another forum:
amother wrote: | I know of at least one frum foster kid who aged out of foster care and had nowhere to go she is currently still supporting herself but hanging on by a thread and in REAL danger of becoming homeless Oh, and she's from brooklyn. |
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Happy18
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:08 pm
Yes, many children are never adopted.
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amother
Lilac
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:14 pm
What about Jewish boys and girls?
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naturalmom5
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:22 pm
You bet your sweet bippee ...
Sad thing is by the frum community especially in NJ , many didn't need to be in foster care to begin with.
Dyfs needs to be reigned in the way the IRS was..
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MagentaYenta
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:28 pm
Yes, locally we expanded our teen shelter find a place for these young adults until they found their way. Some states are now giving free state college tuition to foster children who have aged out. A 15 year old in public care is not likely to be adopted and will likely live in a foster home until they age out.
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amother
Lilac
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:49 pm
naturalmom5 wrote: | You bet your sweet bippee ...
Sad thing is by the frum community especially in NJ , many didn't need to be in foster care to begin with.
Dyfs needs to be reigned in the way the IRS was.. |
What happens to these kids?
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naturalmom5
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:50 pm
Some end up in street or sleep in shuls
Some take any job they can to support themselves
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amother
Vermilion
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 6:59 pm
This is horrible!
Do foster parents just let the kids go the day they age out because they don't get paid anymore?
I would think that someone who fosters is not in it for the money, please tell me that they still care when theres no money!
I hope that frum people would be different.
Do these kids have no relatives at all?
A 18 year old who grew up in the type of home or homes who kick them out when they age out will not be equipped to get an apartment, job and go to college etc and just generally be on their own!
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amother
Pumpkin
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 7:15 pm
I know someone who was in foster care and then just moved back in with the parents from whose home she was removed... Makes you wonder why the separation was necessary to begin with.
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Rubber Ducky
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 7:26 pm
It used to be common for foster kids to age out. The trend nowadays is to get foster kids either adopted or back to their parents. Yes, sometimes bad parents improve, take parenting classes, get therapy, etc., it really does happen.
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ROFL
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 7:40 pm
In NYC foster care ends at 21 not 18. I hope most kids who were in foster care have a loving relationship with their foster families and continue it after they age out of the system. But if someone did not have a positive experience in foster care they may not be prepared to live independently. It is a sad situation.
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naturalmom5
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 7:43 pm
amother wrote: | I know someone who was in foster care and then just moved back in with the parents from whose home she was removed... Makes you wonder why the separation was necessary to begin with. |
Bingo
I know many such cases
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oliveoil
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 7:47 pm
The kids who are aging out are generally not the kids who were living happily with one foster family for years. It's the kids who were bumped around, spending a rocky year here, a rough few months there, over and over. So there is no real connection with any family. It is, definitely, tragic.
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zohar
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 8:02 pm
I recently read an article in one of the Jewish publications, maybe Ami or Mishpacha. They interviewed forum foster families and they said that although the children aged out of the system, they remained part of the family and even helped mary them off.
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WhatFor
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 8:19 pm
A lot of children are not eligible for adoption, hence why families don't adopt them. Also, I forget why right now, but the foster case system is (or at least used to be) set up so that children are often moved from home to home. It's horribly traumatic for the child, but could also lead to situations where families may not feel enough attachment to a child to adopt them for life once they age out.
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amother
Rose
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 11:10 pm
I have a friend that was in foster care because of a physically, emotionally and sxually abusive family situation. She has ptsd, and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She's been hospitalized for OD in the past, but she's pretty stable now. She turned 21, and yes, her foster family told her to find her own place to live. She's rooming with friends now. (I don't completely blame them because she hated the mom, and she isn't very frum anymore) Her younger sibling is still living with that family.
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greenfire
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 11:16 pm
there's always pain involving foster care ... go figure
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MagentaYenta
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Sun, Feb 07 2016, 11:28 pm
WhatFor wrote: | A lot of children are not eligible for adoption, hence why families don't adopt them. Also, I forget why right now, but the foster case system is (or at least used to be) set up so that children are often moved from home to home. It's horribly traumatic for the child, but could also lead to situations where families may not feel enough attachment to a child to adopt them for life once they age out. |
The only children in FC that are eligible for adoption are those whose parents have had their parental rights taken from them. Depending on your state this is likely the majority of FC children.
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Feb 08 2016, 5:27 am
WhatFor wrote: | A lot of children are not eligible for adoption, hence why families don't adopt them. Also, I forget why right now, but the foster case system is (or at least used to be) set up so that children are often moved from home to home. It's horribly traumatic for the child, but could also lead to situations where families may not feel enough attachment to a child to adopt them for life once they age out. |
I've been wondering how hard it would be to adopt one of those older foster kids in Israel. Dd is an only child, and she really wants to adopt a sister around her age (12 and up).
I was a pretty troubled kid and teen, so I can't think of much that would shock me. I can be really open minded and patient. We're not so machmir on things that an OTD kid would feel totally stifled and shoved into a box, either. We prefer the "kiruv by example" approach, and accepting people at the level the come from.
I'm thinking that over here, language is going to be the biggest barrier, and by the time I'm really fluent enough to understand the system I'll probably be too old to qualify.
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Iymnok
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Mon, Feb 08 2016, 5:37 am
FranticFrummie wrote: | I've been wondering how hard it would be to adopt one of those older foster kids in Israel. Dd is an only child, and she really wants to adopt a sister around her age (12 and up).
I was a pretty troubled kid and teen, so I can't think of much that would shock me. I can be really open minded and patient. We're not so machmir on things that an OTD kid would feel totally stifled and shoved into a box, either. We prefer the "kiruv by example" approach, and accepting people at the level the come from.
I'm thinking that over here, language is going to be the biggest barrier, and by the time I'm really fluent enough to understand the system I'll probably be too old to qualify. |
There are American kids in Israel who need homes too BTW. If you are really serious, I'm sure we can find people in the know.
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