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Forum
-> Working Women
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amother
Apricot
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 Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:22 pm
It happens all the time, I'm asked to do something that I don't want to do. Somethings are just part of my job and/or I know that it is the smart thing to do to just do them anyways.
Other things, I can legitimately say no to (ie, personal favors, low impact responsibilities) and I just don't want to deal with the fallout from saying no, so I just say yes.
But then I grumble and grumble about being a shmatte and needing to do all this garbage work...
I should just learn to say, "no, I am not able to do that" and I'd be so much happier.
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pointyshoes
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:51 pm
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Practice makes perfect, hon. Gotta do it to be good at it
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 4:44 pm
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You may benefit from CODA.
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thunderstorm
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 5:20 pm
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I discovered something about myself....I was like that , but I realized it came from a place of insecurity. Dig deep and see if it comes from that , it can be worked on.
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amother
Seagreen
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 5:27 pm
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Thank you for your thread. I was wondering why I am taking a break to log on and want to really thank you as I was just feeling guilty about saying no to some things some people and thinking I could do it if I were more organized, worked harder or something and in fact this is what works best for me and it is best I said no.
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gp2.0
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 5:27 pm
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You've identified a problem and come up with a solution. Good job. Now you need to implement it.
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greenfire
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 5:36 pm
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guess you have to weigh the different outcomes if you say "yes" or "no" before you opt in or out ...
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 5:45 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | | I discovered something about myself....I was like that , but I realized it came from a place of insecurity. Dig deep and see if it comes from that , it can be worked on. |
Most people pleasing comes from insecurity.
Often goes back to childhood, when love was earned through being or behaving a certain way. Sometimes a child has to be perfect in a hopeless effort to keep the peace between fighting parents.
Ah... the things you learn about yourself in therapy. 
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amother
Lawngreen
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Wed, Apr 13 2016, 6:07 pm
Read "when pleasing you is killing me" by dr les carter
Changed my life
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Kfar
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Thu, May 05 2016, 11:21 pm
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This is listed as a christian counseling book!!!
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