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-> Parenting our children
Chana Miriam S
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 Tue, May 03 2016, 12:59 pm
| amother wrote: | | Ok see... Two minutes two people . This is op. My son was also just diagnosed and I'm sitting here feeling all sad... But it's way more common than you think, right? |
Hugs. feel free to pm me for long term insight...
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, May 03 2016, 1:02 pm
| tomboy wrote: | | Do you realize that it's all boys... |
Girls present very differently from boys, so they don't meet the "classic definition" and are often overlooked in studies. They are much harder to diagnose, because everyone expects girls to be quieter, more moody, "shy", or whatever. Boys tend to be more outward, have behavior issues that are more likely to get attention, etc. It's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. If your girl is introverted, bookish, and doesn't bother the teacher, there's a good chance that nobody is going to bring anything to your attention.
The book "Aspergirls" is an excellent example of how different girls on the spectrum are. Highly recommended!
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amother
Gold
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Tue, May 03 2016, 1:13 pm
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yes, he's 7, and high functioning, in a regular class. He gets PT and OT, but I'd like to find some social skill / speech.
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amother
Gold
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Tue, May 03 2016, 1:18 pm
yes, he's 7, and high functioning, in a regular class. He gets PT and OT, but I'd like to find some social skill / speech.
He was in a private self contained classroom as a toddler.
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amother
Aqua
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Tue, May 03 2016, 3:54 pm
Yes, he's 4 now and was dx'ed before his 3rd birthday. ST, OT, preschool, behavior therapy (not strict ABA). He has a language delay but can talk in full sentences now. He has issues with questions, taking things too literally etc. It is difficult to have a conversation with him.
I am also on the spectrum but spent years dx'ed as ADHD+social anxiety+OCD instead because I have very, very strong verbal skills and also the girls' issue of being able to fake it in structured situations.
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cbsp
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Tue, May 03 2016, 3:57 pm
Our DD6 and DS4 both have an ASD diagnosis for very different presentations of the disorder. DD is mild, DS more involved (with an {unrelated?} medical component).
DD is our oldest, we missed that she wasn't hitting certain key social milestones. DS was born medically involved after DD was already in early intervention so we had a head start with what we should be looking for. Having said that DS was diagnosed 6 months before DD - and we only sought out the evaluation to continue getting the BOE services she needs.
I've actually found this blog very validating and comforting:
http://carriecariello.com/mondays-blog-2/
My kids are nowhere as involved as her son is but she has a beautiful way of honestly expressing her emotions - positive and negative.
We've learned to ask for help, demand services, be as open and as matter of fact about it as possible. I don't know if that is the best approach for everyone - or if it will even work for us in the future. We daven daily for siyata dishmaya that our choices are the best for our respective child with the resources we have.
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amother
Pearl
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Tue, May 03 2016, 4:42 pm
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Yes. My 9 year old son. He was diagnosed when he was 7. He's extremely bright but struggles a lot socially. I'm also looking for a social skills group in Brooklyn if anyone knows of anything.
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amother
Hotpink
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Tue, May 03 2016, 5:28 pm
| amother wrote: | Yes, he's 4 now and was dx'ed before his 3rd birthday. ST, OT, preschool, behavior therapy (not strict ABA). He has a language delay but can talk in full sentences now. He has issues with questions, taking things too literally etc. It is difficult to have a conversation with him.
I am also on the spectrum but spent years dx'ed as ADHD+social anxiety+OCD instead because I have very, very strong verbal skills and also the girls' issue of being able to fake it in structured situations. |
Yael said she is going to make a usergroup for Imamothers with ASD. I hope you'll join.
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amother
Orchid
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Tue, May 03 2016, 5:32 pm
| FranticFrummie wrote: | Girls present very differently from boys, so they don't meet the "classic definition" and are often overlooked in studies. They are much harder to diagnose, because everyone expects girls to be quieter, more moody, "shy", or whatever. Boys tend to be more outward, have behavior issues that are more likely to get attention, etc. It's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. If your girl is introverted, bookish, and doesn't bother the teacher, there's a good chance that nobody is going to bring anything to your attention.
The book "Aspergirls" is an excellent example of how different girls on the spectrum are. Highly recommended! |
Girls are much less likely to be diagnosed. Having said that all of my girls are very social (even if one is on the quieter side) and I don't think they have ASD. But they love reading. I don't know if I am on the spectrum (my husband thinks I am) but I could certainly have benefited from social skills groups when I was a kid (and probably now). I certainly gravitate towards similar people to me - bookish, intelligent but not so socially aware. I feel that they get me better and are more likely to overlook my social cluelessness.
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seeker
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Tue, May 03 2016, 5:37 pm
for the social skills group in Brooklyn: I have heard good things about an agency called Proud Moments. I've also seen some good work by agency Encore but not sure if they have social skills groups set up yet - I know they were planning to.
As for all replies being boys - Many girls with ASD are diagnosed at later ages and the demographic here seems somewhat skewed to younger moms. As frantic frummie said, we have different expectations from girls so a girl with poor social skills is often called shy. There are also studies that suggest that girls with ASD are more inclined to try to fit in so their ASD is less noticeable but this typically results in a high rate of stress, anxiety and depression. It's hard work and very stressful feeling like you always need to force yourself to fit in with a social scene you don't understand. There may be other differences as well which could emerge with more study - are girls with ASD more likely to be verbal and therefore not as readily identified? etc.
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Ayala4
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Tue, May 03 2016, 5:38 pm
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I have a 4 year old son with pretty severe autism. Are anyone else's kids severe or am I the only one?
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amother
Taupe
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Tue, May 03 2016, 5:56 pm
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Thanks for the replies. It's .more than 20 moms just on here. That is a lot
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amother
Navy
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Tue, May 03 2016, 6:15 pm
| Ayala4 wrote: | | I have a 4 year old son with pretty severe autism. Are anyone else's kids severe or am I the only one? |
I believe Mama Bear has a son with severe autism. You should pm her if she doesn't see this. Just make sure you contact the right one (there are two posters who are Mama Bear; the one I'm referring to is a Satmar woman with like 20,000 posts here).
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mazal555
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Tue, May 03 2016, 6:16 pm
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I wonder if this is more common among Jews
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seeker
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Tue, May 03 2016, 6:19 pm
| Ayala4 wrote: | | I have a 4 year old son with pretty severe autism. Are anyone else's kids severe or am I the only one? |
I know at least one other but forgot her username. Maybe she'll chime in. I don't think she posts so often.
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amother
Orchid
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Tue, May 03 2016, 6:22 pm
| mazal555 wrote: | | I wonder if this is more common among Jews |
Its probably more common among people who frequent internet forums. 
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imorethanamother
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Tue, May 03 2016, 7:06 pm
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My son is moderate to severe.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Wed, May 04 2016, 11:50 am
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Does anyone know of any social groups for high functioning ASD in Montreal?
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amother
Cobalt
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Wed, May 04 2016, 12:04 pm
| Ayala4 wrote: | | I have a 4 year old son with pretty severe autism. Are anyone else's kids severe or am I the only one? |
Not sure what you mean by "severe", but mine probably falls within that. I usually think of him as the higher end of low functioning, so like I said, it would depend on exactly what you mean.
He's 20, diagnosed at 2. Been receiving therapies/special ed schooling, etc since 2. Verbal, but more likely to do short phrases then full sentences (though he is getting better at that, B"H). He was finally daytime toilet trained at around 11, though night time took a few more years, and there's still occasional accidents. Very poor concept of danger, can't be left alone - think of it as watching a 3 or 4 year old.
Mind you, there are other things he's great at - put him in front of electronics and he comes across like an average teenage kid, so it's a mixed bag.
Tests usually place him academically at a first grade level (give or take), which is why I don't think of him as low functioning, but that might just be a mom delusion, as I think a lot of professionals would think of him as a low functioning kid.
I'm sure there are moms on here with kids of all levels, as autism is a "spectrum" disorder (different levels all fit within this diagnosis). Try checking on the ASD page (under children with special needs) and you're bound to find a bunch.
(Posting anonymously because I'm big on privacy, but if you want to talk "off list" post here and I"ll PM you).
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amother
Papaya
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Wed, May 04 2016, 12:21 pm
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Boys are 5x more likely than girls to have asd. I've heard autism explained as a very extreme male brain.
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