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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Pumpkin
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Sun, May 15 2016, 5:22 pm
My son is kind, sweet, sensitive and thoughtful. As an adult, these are great middos but as an 8 yr old boy it can be extremely difficult. He has a very hard time making friends. Kids think he's weird. He doesn't play sports. He's more of a loner. I know this, I've kind of accepted it because it is what it is and I want him to be happy. Just feel a little sting bec he came home saying a kid in the class is having a party and he's not invited. I didn't prepare for this sad feeling.
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ChutzPAh
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Sun, May 15 2016, 6:01 pm
Can you get a bochur to give him one on one sports lessons?
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amother
Slategray
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Sun, May 15 2016, 8:30 pm
I have a brother who was like that too, and he is the most amazing husband and father now.
But growing up, it was also very hard for him.
Chutzpah's suggestion sounds good - Having such a bochur, or perhaps more of a 'big brother' type, will help him learn skills that he will have in common with his peers, as well as providing him with valuable one-on-one attention and hopefully more confidence as well.
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amother
Navy
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Mon, May 16 2016, 3:47 am
He may not have been invited to this kid's party, but he also may not be the only boy in his class uninterested in sport.
Ask your son, which other kids are gentle, quiet kids. Who he'd like to befriend. And invite him over to play.
My 7yr old son is also not the sporty type. The quiet kids usually find each other eventually. They stay inside and fold paper, read comics books or look for pebbles during recess.
My older son (now 16) also never used to be that into sport, but he was quite a 'chevreman', and I remember when he was about 5, in kindergarten, the parents of another boy calling us up to arrange play dates between my kid and theirs. My son was happy to have him round, he was sociable, and happy to have any kid round to play, and I saw when I met this boy that he was obviously one of the very introvert kids in the gan, and that his parents were making a big effort to find him playmates. I was very impressed by their efforts.
Hatzlacha.
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Chayalle
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Mon, May 16 2016, 7:05 am
What are his strong points? Can you zero in on a strength of his and get him to shine there? Or at least give him an outlet that will give him confidence?
I have a nephew who is a kind sweetheart, and he's learned to play the guitar. This gives him an outlet that allows him to express himself, and it's also a point of social connection for him, as he can connect to others thru music.
Your son is a bit young but not too young to start focusing on some hobbies for him that can give him a sense of fulfillment and confidence. If he's not into sports, what is he into? If he is good at drawing, or music, or a particular game, etc...it can help him find his own niche.
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amother
Vermilion
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Mon, May 16 2016, 9:29 am
My son is the same age as yours and the same type.
I bought him a word find puzzle book and an adult coloring book to use during recess. Also a rubiks cube but hes not too good with it! He says kids come over to him to look over his shoulder and give answers. It may not be sports but it seems social enough for me.
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