5 year old suddenly hits and spits- need advice

amother

Lime

Tue, May 17 2016, 12:29 pm

Yesterday my 5 year old DD suddenly began kicking my 3 yr old DD. I was there and didnt see an apparent reason for this, they hadnt been fighting. I told her to stop and it only escalated. We did time out (me holding the door of her room closed while she tries to open it), but once she was let out she simply continued. So I simply held her in my lap while she struggled and told her im holding her bcs shes not allowed to kick. Then she began spitting at me. I tried to remain calm but after a minute I hit her lightly on the mouth (angrily) bcs I was offended that she had the chutzpa to spit at me. She went away crying and wouldnt come to me, I felt bad as my goal was not to push her away from me. I got her to come to my bed and we cuddled, while the 3 yr old was playing at the foot of the bed. The whole time I needed to prevent the 5 yr old from hitting 3 yr old. We managed to go through betime routine with me protecting 3 yr old. Then husband came home and got involved, asking her if she is ok, how was her day, in an effort to get through to her and get her talking as she was clearly misbehaving as a result of some emotional need. To no avail. The only way we got her to stay in bed was by threatening to throw away her candy filled party bag.
HELP!!! How do I set limits (no spitting) without letting my emotions get in the way? My goal is not to push my child away, I want her to akways be able to come to me!
How can I find out what prompted this behaviour??
Note: I am 6 months pregnant. Maybe this will help in figuring out the puzzle.....
Would be grateful for any insight, advice!!

SparkleMom

Tue, May 17 2016, 12:53 pm

OP here- when she was finally calm in bed, she told me she wants me to bring my mattress into her room and I should sleep in her room with her. Also Abba should. She wants everyone to sleep in the same room together. I told her during the daytime we are all together in all the rooms but at night not, bcs ima and abba need to have their own room. Does this lend a clue??